When an airline hostess goes berserk, and other quizzical oddities

Related Topics
I hope you all had a Happy Christmas and that most of you have by now nearly finished your Christmas shopping. Anyway, the traditional time has come to bring you the answers to our Grand Christmas Quiz, which I now gladly do.


1. It is the only book by Jane Austen never to have been turned into television.

2. Lord Rattle of Birmingham. 3. The full quotation was: "If the people who have been running the Royal Opera House in the 1990s had been selling arms to Saddam Hussein instead, the Iraqis would now all be armed with wooden swords."

4. Swan Lake on stilts.

5. A Spanish film called The Full Amontillado.

6. Because it turned out that although he had been a Booker Prize judge two years running, he had never read any of the novels on the shortlist.

7. It is Salman Rushdie's current address.

8. He has been asked to write Louise Woodward's memoirs. 9. An attempt to mix ballet and cooking.

10. Because when Rossini gave up composing, he became a skilled chef, inventing new recipes, whereas Andrew Lloyd Webber has ended up simply writing a restaurant column, revewing other people's efforts.


1. Fergie.

2. The ill-fated attempt to make the Monaco Royal Family seem interesting.

3. Fergie.

4. He has been asked if he would be prepared to sing at Elton John's funeral.

5. Fergie.

6. The only homosexual member of the Beatles.

7. What To Tell Your Helicopter About Sex, by Sarah, Duchess of York.

8. It is Angus Deayton's real name.

9. He went to prison after being defended in court by Clive Anderson.

10. She was a Fergie look-alike who sued the Duchess of York for becoming less famous and thus endangering her own income.


1. Arsenal, in 1936, wearing red shirts and white shorts. They were each fined pounds 5.

2. The price that Don King wants for a rematch between Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield's other ear.

3. They were the first English football club to go into a Premier League match without a single English player in the team.

4. Jonah Lomu's sister.

5. Because a greater percentage of people die from Formula One-linked deaths than from smoking-related diseases.

6. The only England cricketer ever to have an after-shave named after him.

7. A religious cult in southern India which believes that Brian Johnston is still alive.

8. The Pope's favourite baseball team.

9. Mixed singles.

10. The only time a game of boules has been played in the middle of the M4.


1. The name of a virulent bug which can only live in airline meals.

2. There is no connection between Potters Bar and Beatrix Potter. (Potters Bar is, of course, named after Stephen Potter.)

3. A new restaurant at Terminal One, Heathrow, called The Firehouse.

4. He is the only film director who has specifically banned his own movies from being shown on international air flights, supposedly to avoid the risk of having to watch them.

5. A day return to Gibraltar.

6. Because every time Richard Branson has a balloon disaster, bookings for Virgin Airlines drop by 20 per cent.

7. The emergency procedure that has to be followed when an airline stewardess goes berserk and starts attacking the passengers.

8. In order to protest against the ludicrous cost of air fares to Paris, he attempted to send himself there by parcel post.

9. Swimming across the Channel without a passport.

10. The annual football match between Newport Pagnell Service Area Northbound and Newport Pagnell Service Area Southbound.

I'll bring you more quiz answers as and when space permits.

React Now

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

The Grange Retirement Home: Full Time Care Team Manager

£22,400: The Grange Retirement Home: This is a key role which requires a sound...

SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

£20000 - £25000 per annum + OTE £45K YR1: SThree: At SThree, we like to be dif...

Guru Careers: Software Developer / Web Developer

£30 - 40k + Benefits: Guru Careers: A Software / Web Developer (PHP / MYSQL) i...

Guru Careers: Account Executive

£18 - 20k + Benefits: Guru Careers: An Account Executive is needed to join one...

Day In a Page

Read Next

Daily catch-up: Inequality in Britain – a defence of the mansion tax

John Rentoul
Blundering Tony Blair quits as Middle East peace envoy – only Israel will miss him

Blundering Blair quits as Middle East peace envoy – only Israel will miss him

For Arabs – and for Britons who lost their loved ones in his shambolic war in Iraq – his appointment was an insult, says Robert Fisk
Fifa corruption arrests: All hail the Feds for riding to football's rescue

Fifa corruption arrests

All hail the Feds for riding to football's rescue, says Ian Herbert
Isis in Syria: The Kurdish enclave still resisting the tyranny of President Assad and militant fighters

The Kurdish enclave still resisting the tyranny of Assad and Isis

In Syrian Kurdish cantons along the Turkish border, the progressive aims of the 2011 uprising are being enacted despite the war. Patrick Cockburn returns to Amuda
How I survived Cambodia's Killing Fields: Acclaimed surgeon SreyRam Kuy celebrates her mother's determination to escape the US

How I survived Cambodia's Killing Fields

Acclaimed surgeon SreyRam Kuy celebrates her mother's determination to escape to the US
Stephen Mangan interview: From posh buffoon to pregnant dad, the actor has quite a range

How Stephen Mangan got his range

Posh buffoon, hapless writer, pregnant dad - Mangan is certainly a versatile actor
The ZX Spectrum has been crowd-funded back into play - with some 21st-century tweaks

The ZX Spectrum is back

The ZX Spectrum was the original - and for some players, still the best. David Crookes meets the fans who've kept the games' flames lit
Grace of Monaco film panned: even the screenwriter pours scorn on biopic starring Nicole Kidman

Even the screenwriter pours scorn on Grace of Monaco biopic

The critics had a field day after last year's premiere, but the savaging goes on
Menstrual Hygiene Day: The strange ideas people used to believe about periods

Menstrual Hygiene Day: The strange ideas people once had about periods

If one was missed, vomiting blood was seen as a viable alternative
The best work perks: From free travel cards to making dreams come true (really)

The quirks of work perks

From free travel cards to making dreams come true (really)
Is bridge the latest twee pastime to get hip?

Is bridge becoming hip?

The number of young players has trebled in the past year. Gillian Orr discovers if this old game has new tricks
Long author-lists on research papers are threatening the academic work system

The rise of 'hyperauthorship'

Now that academic papers are written by thousands (yes, thousands) of contributors, it's getting hard to tell workers from shirkers
The rise of Lego Clubs: How toys are helping children struggling with social interaction to build better relationships

The rise of Lego Clubs

How toys are helping children struggling with social interaction to build better relationships
5 best running glasses

On your marks: 5 best running glasses

Whether you’re pounding pavements, parks or hill passes, keep your eyes protected in all weathers
Joe Root: 'Ben Stokes gives everything – he’s rubbing off on us all'

'Ben Stokes gives everything – he’s rubbing off on us all'

Joe Root says the England dressing room is a happy place again – and Stokes is the catalyst
Raif Badawi: Wife pleads for fresh EU help as Saudi blogger's health worsens

Please save my husband

As the health of blogger Raif Badawi worsens in prison, his wife urges EU governments to put pressure on the Saudi Arabian royal family to allow her husband to join his family in Canada