- Tuesday 21 May 2013
- My Account
- Logout
- Register
- Login
- News
-
Voices
-
Find by writer
- Yasmin Alibhai-Brown
- Rebecca Armstrong
- Memphis Barker
- Terence Blacker
- Chris Blackhurst
- David Blanchflower
- Archie Bland
- Ian Burrell
- Andrew Buncombe
- Ben Chu
- Patrick Cockburn
- Laura Davis
- Mary Dejevsky
- Grace Dent
- Robert Fisk
- Andrew Grice
- Stefano Hatfield
- Philip Hensher
- Ian Herbert
- Howard Jacobson
- Ellen E Jones
- Alice Jones
- Owen Jones
- Simon Kelner
- Dominic Lawson
- Donald Macintyre
- Lisa Markwell
- Comment
- Campaigns
- Debate
- Editorials
- Letters
- IV Drip
- Archive
- Our Voices
- Commentators
- Columnists
- Democracy 2015
- IV Drip Archive
-
Find by writer
- Sport
- Tech
- Life
- Property
- Arts & Ents
- Travel
- Money
- IndyBest
- Blogs
- Student
That's the problem with this country. If you're on the pig's back and you're starting to get the sow by the ear, before you know it people are saying you're as independent as a hog on ice (which means, inexplicably, very cocky) and you get caught playing piggy-in-the-middle between the hogwash in the press and the pork-barrel politics of all the people who have helped you get where you are.
Nothing would be more appealing than to cut training and pig out for a week living high on the hog-in-hog heaven. Just to lie back as happy as a little pig in shit, stuffing your face with pigs in a blanket (oysters wrapped in bacon) would be a relief, or just for once to put on your pork- pie hat and go and get absolutely hog-whimpering drunk for a change.
But all that's in a pig's eye. It's no use sitting on your hams. You've got to go out there and bring home the bacon or before you know it there won't be anything in the piggy bank and the money-grabbing swine will have you hog-tied while the ham-fisted lawyer you hired to get their snouts out of your trough and the pigs off your case, makes a pig's ear of the whole business and digs you in deeper with his pig Latin. He leaves you high and dry and bleeding like a stuck pig.
So you ham it up a little for the cameras and let others piggyback on your success, and if anyone gripes that they've bought a pig in a poke, well, that's their lookout. Let them try to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Why should you cast your pearls before swine?
-
Letters: Of course big business loves the EU
-
Internet porn is no kind of education, but LOLcats and Tumblr (almost) make up for it
-
Could Northern Ireland host the next Hollywood?
-
For Google, This World is Not Enough
-
Editorial: Obama has a tricky balance to strike
-
Rod’s not just Number One – he’s a lesson in getting your groove back
Get your summer started with British Military Fitness
BMF is the UK’s biggest and best loved outdoor fitness classes
Visit York
Find out what The Independent's resident travel expert has to say about one of the most beautiful small cities in the world
Enter the latest Independent competitions
Win anything from gadgets to five-star holidays on our competitions and offers page.
Business videos from commercial thought leaders
Watch the best in the business world give their insights into the world of business.
LOUIS PALABROTA
Related Articles
Get the best in opinion from Independent Voices, straight to your inbox every Thursday lunchtime.
Subscribe
Amol Rajan
A weekly update from the Editor
iJobs General
Lecturer in Conservation Studies
£37,382-£44,607: UCL Qatar: The appointment is full-time on UCL Grade 8. The s...
Randstad Education Humanities Supply Teachers
£22500 - £50000 per annum: Randstad Education Plymouth: Are you a Geography, H...
Randstad Education English Teacher
£22500 - £50000 per annum: Randstad Education Plymouth: We are working with a ...
Randstad Education Design Technology Teacher
£22500 - £50000 per annum: Randstad Education Plymouth: This Cornwall based Se...
Day In a Page
The price of pacifism
Jason Isaacs: Groupies, theatre bores and James Bond
Sealand: 'Micronation' or illegal fortress?
Legend of James Hunt has set Hollywood hearts racing
Macklemore: 'I don't have moderation'
