Yesterday was...

a good day for:

Visually impaired Chinese, with the reprinting of the 4 Sept Xian Evening News in an edition 95ft long by 64ft wide. "Every character in the headline is as large as a washbasin," according to an agency report.

a bad day for:

Promiscuous males, as a survey shows that 20 per cent of men but only one per cent of women hope that office parties will lead to casual sex. Sex expectations are highest in Scotland and the north-west.