Liam Neeson has revealed he once walked the streets with a cosh for days looking to kill a “black bastard” after someone close to him was raped many years ago.
The actor shared the previously undisclosed story with The Independent during a press junket for his new film, Cold Pursuit, admitting that he is now “ashamed” of his past “awful” behaviour.
Neeson, who has starred in films such as Taken and Non-Stop, recalled being told about the rape after he returned from a trip overseas.
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“She handled the situation of the rape in the most extraordinary way,” Neeson said during the interview, which can be read in full here. “But my immediate reaction was ... did she know who it was? No. What colour were they? She said it was a black person.
“I went up and down areas with a cosh, hoping I’d be approached by somebody. I’m ashamed to say that, and I did it for maybe a week – hoping some [Neeson gestures air quotes with his fingers] ‘black bastard’ would come out of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know? So that I could kill him.”
Liam Neeson through the years
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Liam Neeson through the years
1/23 March 1995
Liam Neeson stars In the movie ‘Rob Roy’
Getty
2/23 October 1996
Neeson poses with co-star Aidan Quinn (right) and director Neil Jordan (left) at the Los Angeles premiere of their new movie ‘Michael Collins’
AFP/Getty
3/23 March 2001
Neeson poses with the lightsaber he used in ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’ at the ‘Movie Action for Children’ auction
AFP/Getty
4/23 May 2002
Liam Neeson attends the Tony Award nominees brunch
Getty
5/23 July 2002
Neeson attends the world premiere of ‘K-19: The Widowmaker’ in Westwood, California
Getty
6/23 August 2003
Neeson films scenes from ‘Kinsey’ at Grand Central Station, New York
Getty
7/23 September 2004
Neeson after a press conference for the movie ‘Kinsey’ during the Toronto International Film Festival
Getty
8/23 May 2005
Samuel L Jackson (left) and Neeson (right) pose with Chewbacca at the premiere of ‘Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith’
Getty
9/23 June 2005
Gary Oldman, Sir Michael Caine, Christian Bale, Katie Holmes, Morgan Freeman and Neeson arrive at the premiere of ‘Batman Begins’ at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre
Getty
10/23 September 2006
Pierce Brosnan (left) and Neeson attend the ‘Seraphim Falls’ press conference during the Toronto International Film Festival
Getty
11/23 September 2008
Neeson poses by the river Thames before a screening of the action movie ‘Taken’
Getty
12/23 June 2010
Neeson, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, director Joe Carnahan, Sharlto Copley, and Bradley Cooper arrive at the premiere of their movie ‘The A-Team’
Getty
13/23 January 2011
Neeson at the premiere of ‘The Grey’ in Los Angeles
Getty
14/23 September 2012
Neeson poses next to the beach closet dedicated to him on the Promenade des Planches for the movie ‘Taken 2’
Getty
15/23 February 2013
Neeson presents an award at the Oscars
Getty
16/23 February 2014
Neeson holds his character from ‘The Lego Movie’ as he attends the premiere in New York
Getty
17/23 February 2014
Actors Michelle Dockery, Lupita Nyong’o, Neeson and Julianne Moore attend the premiere of their movie ‘Non-Stop’
Getty
18/23 November 2014
Maureen O’Hara accepts an Honorary Oscar from Clint Eastwood and Neeson
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19/23 January 2015
Neeson signs posters as he attends a ‘Taken 3’ fan screening
Getty
20/23 February 2017
Neeson reprises his role from ‘Love Actually’ alongside Thomas Brodie-Sangster for Comic Relief’s ‘Red Nose Day Actually’
Getty
21/23 September 2017
Neeson appears on ‘The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’
Getty
22/23 January 2018
Neeson attends the premiere of ‘The Commuter’ in New York
Getty
23/23 February 2018
Neeson speaks after receiving an award for his career during the Golden Camera awards ceremony in Hamburg
AFP/Getty
1/23 March 1995
Liam Neeson stars In the movie ‘Rob Roy’
Getty
2/23 October 1996
Neeson poses with co-star Aidan Quinn (right) and director Neil Jordan (left) at the Los Angeles premiere of their new movie ‘Michael Collins’
AFP/Getty
3/23 March 2001
Neeson poses with the lightsaber he used in ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’ at the ‘Movie Action for Children’ auction
AFP/Getty
4/23 May 2002
Liam Neeson attends the Tony Award nominees brunch
Getty
5/23 July 2002
Neeson attends the world premiere of ‘K-19: The Widowmaker’ in Westwood, California
Getty
6/23 August 2003
Neeson films scenes from ‘Kinsey’ at Grand Central Station, New York
Getty
7/23 September 2004
Neeson after a press conference for the movie ‘Kinsey’ during the Toronto International Film Festival
Getty
8/23 May 2005
Samuel L Jackson (left) and Neeson (right) pose with Chewbacca at the premiere of ‘Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith’
Getty
9/23 June 2005
Gary Oldman, Sir Michael Caine, Christian Bale, Katie Holmes, Morgan Freeman and Neeson arrive at the premiere of ‘Batman Begins’ at the Grauman's Chinese Theatre
Getty
10/23 September 2006
Pierce Brosnan (left) and Neeson attend the ‘Seraphim Falls’ press conference during the Toronto International Film Festival
Getty
11/23 September 2008
Neeson poses by the river Thames before a screening of the action movie ‘Taken’
Getty
12/23 June 2010
Neeson, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, director Joe Carnahan, Sharlto Copley, and Bradley Cooper arrive at the premiere of their movie ‘The A-Team’
Getty
13/23 January 2011
Neeson at the premiere of ‘The Grey’ in Los Angeles
Getty
14/23 September 2012
Neeson poses next to the beach closet dedicated to him on the Promenade des Planches for the movie ‘Taken 2’
Getty
15/23 February 2013
Neeson presents an award at the Oscars
Getty
16/23 February 2014
Neeson holds his character from ‘The Lego Movie’ as he attends the premiere in New York
Getty
17/23 February 2014
Actors Michelle Dockery, Lupita Nyong’o, Neeson and Julianne Moore attend the premiere of their movie ‘Non-Stop’
Getty
18/23 November 2014
Maureen O’Hara accepts an Honorary Oscar from Clint Eastwood and Neeson
Getty
19/23 January 2015
Neeson signs posters as he attends a ‘Taken 3’ fan screening
Getty
20/23 February 2017
Neeson reprises his role from ‘Love Actually’ alongside Thomas Brodie-Sangster for Comic Relief’s ‘Red Nose Day Actually’
Getty
21/23 September 2017
Neeson appears on ‘The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon’
Getty
22/23 January 2018
Neeson attends the premiere of ‘The Commuter’ in New York
Getty
23/23 February 2018
Neeson speaks after receiving an award for his career during the Golden Camera awards ceremony in Hamburg
AFP/Getty
Neeson said it took him about a week or a week and a half to process what had happened.
“It was horrible, horrible, when I think back, that I did that,” he said. “And I’ve never admitted that, and I’m saying it to a journalist. God forbid.”
He added: “It’s awful. But I did learn a lesson from it, when I eventually thought, ‘What the fuck are you doing’, you know?
“I understand that need for revenge, but it just leads to more revenge, to more killing and more killing.”
Neeson shared the personal story after being asked to give more insight into his Cold Pursuit character Nels Coxman’s need for revenge after his son is killed by a drug gang.
“I think audience members live to see that,” Neeson said of onscreen violence. “They can kind of live vicariously through it. People say, ‘Yeah but violence in films makes people want to go out and kill people.’ I don’t believe that at all.
“I think the average moviegoer thinks, ‘Yeah, punch him. Punch him.’ And they get a satisfaction out of seeing somebody else enact it, and they leave the theatre and they feel satiated in some way.”
The Independent contacted Neeson’s publicist for further comment but he declined.
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Cold Pursuit is released in UK cinemas on Friday 22 February