Oscars 2014: Vagina rejuvenation procedure offered in $80,000 goodie bags

Gifts are worth more than The Wolf of Wall Street's Jonah Hill was paid

Jess Denham@jess_denham
Friday 21 February 2014 11:25
Should last year's Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence miss out in 2014, she will find consolation in an extravagant $80,000 goodie bag
Should last year's Oscar winner Jennifer Lawrence miss out in 2014, she will find consolation in an extravagant $80,000 goodie bag

Oscar nominees left disappointed at next weekend's star-studded ceremony will be comforted by a lavish $80,000 goodie bag that contain a vagina rejuvenation procedure.

Tapping into celebrities' assumed vanity, the LA-designed hampers offer weight loss shakes, personal training sessions, hair restoration surgery and the bizarre 'Orgasm Shot' treatment that "enhances the genital tissue of a woman".

Designed by Dr Charles Runels, said 'O Shot' claims to "help women cure urinary incontinence and sex problems" while "rejuvenating" the vagina. Because we can so see Jennifer Lawrence going in for that…

For $2,700 (£1,620), blood is injected into the upper vagina and clitoris to help with a range of sex complaints too often suffered by women "in silence". Male nominees are offered no sexual help - just assistance with balding.

The contents of 2014's bag of treats, revealed by US magazines, also include the more usual delights of luxury vodka, fine art, aerial circus lessons and…pepper spray guns ( scroll to see list).

For some reason, probably to do with how much Americans love their dogs, plenty of pet care products are also thrown in to the mix, along with holiday packages to Hawaii, Las Vegas, Japan and the Canadian Rockies.

Should he lose out on the Best Supporting Actor award, at least Jonah Hill has a consolation prize to look forward to, worth more than he got paid for The Wolf of Wall Street.

Hill accepted the modest sum (Hollywood’s standards, not ours) of $60,000 to shoot Martin Scorsese’s movie because he was so keen for the role.

But what ridiculous gifts will the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep, Matthew McConaughey and Amy Adams enjoy should they miss out in their categories?

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In descending order of extravagance:

ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant surgery

Walk Japan tour

Best of Vegas holiday package

Halo natural pet food (host Ellen DeGeneres is an ambassador and actors can donate the food to an animal charity of their choice)

Rocky Mountaineer train trip

Imanta Mexico holiday package

Dr Charles Runels' O-Shot procedure to enhance sexual response

Steamist home spa system

Koala Landing resort stay in Kauai

Epic pet health therapy

Gizara arts print

Huntley Drive fitness training sessions

Krystal Klear filtered water system

Max Martin shoes

Le Petit Cirque lessons

A house call from respected acupuncturist Heather Lounsbury

Jan Lewis bracelet

Slow watch made in Switzerland

Acure skincare

Jitseu handbags

Narrative clip camera

Rouge organic maple syrup

Coolway Go Pro hairdryer

Mace pepper spray guns

Polar Loop activity tracker

M3K beauty products

Horse shampoo for humans

Chocolatines of flavours including 'chocolate-dipped bacon', 'chianti wine with olive' and 'champagne brut with bleu cheese bark'

Knit & Co cable knit mittens

Slimware portion control dinnerware

Betty Jane candies

Blossoms Blends tea

Hydroxycut weight loss products

Dosha herbal tea lollipops

Aviv 613 vodka

Cannonball wine

Bee Free Honee organic apple honey

Wrag Wrap sustainable gift wrap

Simon's Happy Pet shampoo

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