Big Mommas: Like A Father, Like Son (PG)

Starring: Martin Lawrence, Jessica Lucas

Has there ever been a threequel less welcome than this? Martin Lawrence's latest outing as an FBI agent crossdressed as the supersized titular matriarch sees him hiding out from gangsters in a girls' art school – not, alas, a homage to Some Like It Hot, merely an opportunity for lecherous ogling and cumbersome slapstick.

And let's just back up a moment: how can Martin Lawrence even pass as a federal agent, let alone a 30-stone grandma? In the marching band of black stand-up comics, with Richard Pryor leading from the front and Eddie Murphy somewhere in the middle, Lawrence is way, way to the rear, on cymbals. Here, as a big butterball of unfunny, he's joined by Brandon T Jackson as his stepson, also crossdressing and dragging the mood further down with his creepy seduction of nice girl Haley (Jessica Lucas). Between them the pair create about as much hilarity and goodwill as the Wayans Brothers did in their equally terrible farce of imposture White Chicks. Don't just take my word for it. At the press screening of this "comedy" an eerily complete silence reigned throughout its 107 minutes. I've actually been at funeral services where there were more laughs.