“I hope someone lugs a bottle of warm urine at that muppet Kanye West at Glasto so his face comes out in piss-blisters”, joked a Twitter user ahead of the rapper's upcoming Saturday night Glastonbury headline act.
Yet this is beginning to look less and less like a joke, and increasingly as if Kanye is going to have to invest in several heavy-duty umbrellas and a raincoat.
At last count the petition to remove Kanye from his headline slot, and replace him with a ‘deserving’ rock band, had 134,415 votes.
The vitriol of many rock fans towards Kanye’s music is riding high on a wave of more than urine (Liam Gallagher has described him as “utter sh**”).
And the bubbling pot of outrage over the booking of a rap artist is frothing over into frenzy in the comments section of Glastonbury’s Facebook announcement.
The recent fashion of dousing below-par performers – and, even more so, their audiences – in wee via empty beer cups lobbed high into the air is a relatively new phenomenon, but one that’s now prevalent, and one that could pollute more than the environment when it comes to Kanye.
Kanye has a history of storming off (and on) various stages thanks to an arguably inflated sense of self-importance, and a swift scatological sousing could cause a similar reaction.
Renowned for his ego, back in April Kanye replaced every mention of God with his own name in a re-releasing of the Bible’s Genesis, The Book of Yeezus. The idea may be the only thing preventing him from getting overly pissy. “You people storing up piss in bottles for Kanye at Glasto are going to be sorry. Yeezus can walk on yellow water” exhorted a believing fan on Twitter.
Plenty, however, are overjoyed to see the 21-Grammy winner as headliner. He undoubtedly is a showman; perhaps it might be worthwhile bringing along the flamethrowers that formed the staging of his BRITs performance in March, to help dry out any unfortunate victims of a sprinkling.
Love him or hate him, Kanye, and those planning to watch him tonight, I’d recommend you consider wearing a poncho – just in case of any ‘warm rain’.
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