Friends on Netflix: 21 of Chandler's best one liners

Ahead of your Christmas TV binge, here's a reminder of some of the best jokes from the iconic series

Roisin O'Connor
Monday 17 December 2018 10:13
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Friends season 5 episode 16: Ross tries to move the sofa 'PIVOT!'

Following the recent news that Netflix went to some extreme lengths to keep Friends on its streaming service, it's likely many people will be binge-watching the popular series over the Christmas period.

While each fan has their favourite character, it is a universally acknowledged truth that Chandler Bing, portrayed by Matthew Perry, is "the funny one".

If any proof of this was needed, you only have to remember the staggering list of one-liners he made across the show's 10 seasons.

Here's a list of 21 of his best, could they be any funnier?

1) Phoebe: "One of my clients died today on the massage table."

Chandler: "Well that's a little more relaxed than you wanted him to get."

2) "Until I was 25, I thought that the only response to ‘I love you’ was ‘Oh, crap!’”

3) "I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

4) "I’m funny, right? What do you know, you’re a door. You only like knock-knock jokes."

5) Rachel: "Chandler, you have the best taste in men."

Chandler: "Like father like son."

6) Joey: (running after bus with Chandler after they forget Ross's baby son) "Ben! Ben! Ben!"

Chandler: "Oh, that's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord."

7) Monica: "Why is your family Scottish?!"

Chandler: "Why is your family Ross?"

8) Phoebe: "Do you guys know anything about chicks?"

Chandler: "Fowl? No. Women? No."

9) Ross [on the phone]: "No, Homo habilis was erect. Australopithecus was never fully erect."

Chandler: "Well, maybe he was nervous"

10) "Alright, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put my career before men."

11) "I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner, I rarely practice my meals before I eat."

12) Monica introducing Brad Pitt’s character: "This is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will."

Chandler, looking at Will: "Hey, I'd shake your hand but I'm into the game... plus I think it would be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other."

13) Ross: "I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy."

Chandler: "Do you want us to leave the room?"

14) Joey, trying to appear younger: "So, you’re playing a little Playstation, huh? That’s whack. Playstation is whack. ‘Sup with the whack Playstation, ‘sup? Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?"

Chandler: "Yes, on a scale from one to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19."

15) Phoebe: "I just realised something. Joker is poker with a j… coincidence?"

Chandler: "Hey, that’s 'joincidence'… with a c."

16) Joey: Whoa! Jam! I love jam! Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?

Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.

17) Susie Moss [Julia Roberts]: "How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?”

Chandler: “Because I went to an all-boys high school and God is making up for it?”

18) Joey: "Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey says hello. He'll know what it means."

Chandler: "Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?"

19) Monica: "Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing."

Chandler: "How do you find clothes that fit?"

20) Joey: "I kind of had a dream. (Pause) But I don't wanna talk about it."

Chandler: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! What if Martin Luther King had said that?"

21) Ross trying to lift his sofa up the stairs, with Chandler helping: "PIVOT. PIVOT. PIVOT"

Chandler: "SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP."

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