Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the home stretch. There are just a few days to go now until Love Island leaves our screens. And after months of nuanced relationship drama, one thing is clear: all the men on this show end up disappointing you.
First there was Michael, who dumped Amber for Joanna, then Curtis dumped his half-girlfriend Amy, who left the villa in a sorry state, and now Jordan. Despite being one of the few seemingly kind, unproblematic Islanders, Jordan still barely thought twice about dumping Anna for someone he'd know for three minutes.
Tonight, four Islanders were dumped from the villa. I was hoping that Jordan would be among them, and my wish came true. Here are the biggest talking points.
Jordan and Anna sever ties
“I am a strong woman. I will never let someone bring me down and win.” Jordan’s mind-boggling decision – aided by slimeball of the year Curtis – to attempt to woo India two days after asking Anna to be his girlfriend backfired catastrophically. Thank goodness, then, that Anna had her head screwed on correctly.
The day in which the Islanders have to look after fake babies, and thus temporarily lose their heads – behaving like five-year-olds who genuinely believe they’re new parents – is always one of the weirdest days of every series. Last year’s highlight was when Dr Alex (who was otherwise a bit of a wally) accidentally sent his baby flying out of its pram. This year’s was Tommy making his do a backflip and Molly-Mae shouting at him within six milliseconds.
Curtis is awful
That’s it. That’s the talking point.
Four Islanders leave
It was a fairly simple, old-school kind of dumping this evening – the public voted for their favourite couples, and the two with the lowest votes were dumped unceremoniously from the island. The first couple was Harley and Chris, who seem like perfectly fine people but whose loss isn’t an immense one. The second was Anna and Jordan, and frankly Jordan deserved to leave enough for the both of them. “I’m so grateful for you three,” Anna told Maura, Molly-Mae and Amber, “because I feel like I found love. If I could do it again, I would, just because I found you guys.”
Follow along with the action as it happened below.
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Good evening! Who is going to disappoint us on Love Island tonight?
In case you missed it, here are the talking points from last night's episode...
Molly-Mae and Tommy share a strange lick
During a romantic catch up with one another, during which Molly-Mae and Tommy told each other repeatedly that they "love" one another, they then began sharing a very strange nose lick.
Well, time's a ticking guys, and only one couple is going to win that £50K...
Jordan reveals to Curtis that his head has been turned by India
After considering his feelings overnight, Jordan told Curtis: "I think I've worked out the location of my head. It's in India." Curtis isn't one to keep nuggets such as this to himself, so he quickly decides to share it with Maura. Catching up with her on the bean bags, he said: "I’ve been speaking with Jordan. Basically, he is a little bit confused. He has feelings for India."
Maura is startled by the information, and then goes over to tell her friend Anna what's been going on. Yes, prepare for fireworks.
Anna confronts Jordan in explosive end to the episode
Anna finds out from Maura that Jordan's head has been turned by page 3 model India Reynolds, and yes, she's furious.
Walking up to Jordan and India, she fumed: "You like her?" In response, Jordan tried to brush it off, saying, "I'm having a conversation with her," then adding, "I never said that I like her." Anna was having none of it, though, and she responded: "That's what Maura's just told me," Anna says. "You just asked me out and you like her?! Is that how much of a f***ing idiot you are?"
With only days to go in the villa, the pot is definitely getting stirred...
Curtis and Maura go to the Hideaway
Couple Curtis and Maura had the opportunity to spend the night in the Hideaway together, and things got, erm, steamy? Curtis entered the Hideaway wearing a flowery kimono, then donned a feather boa, and the couple hastily made their way to bed. Things got so steamy, in fact, that Maura told the girls the next morning that it was "fanny-tastic".
Yep, it is what it is, guys.
Here we go
OK but can any baby challenge ever top Dr Alex's catastrophic baby drop?
"The girls are gonna fill her head with stuff." Yeah, Curtis, that's what us awful women – sorry, "lovely ladies" – do isn't it?
Curtis is trying to assuage his own guilt by condoning Jordan's actions, pass it on
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