Made in Chelsea season 7, episode 1, TV review

Yeah boi to the return of the absurd constructed reality show

Look who's back, back again: The Made in Chelsea season 7 crew (Channel 4)

Just four months after Jamie whisked Lucy away on his horse-drawn carriage, Made in Chelsea is back.

It’s hard to believe a show about the vacuous lives of vaguely likeable twenty-somethings is in its seventh season.

It’s even harder to believe Lucy ever had an ounce of romantic feeling towards Jamie. But still, here we are three years on from the show’s 2011 debut.

After the last lacklustre series, it looks like Made in Chelsea has returned to top posh porn form.

Any season that starts like a tongue-in-cheek advert for The White Company, with Lucy Watson luxuriating in a stand-alone bubble bath as Jamie Laing emerges from his goose down bed, has serious potential.

As a pouting Lucy Watson trotted up the King’s Road in slow motion to meet her fate, it was clear from the outset that high drama was in store.

But alas, aside from the tragedy of Louise’s wet-look leather jacket, it transpired Jamie had told dozens of girls in Miami he was in love with them a week after surrendering his heart to Lucy.

While Jamie was all too busy throwing the ‘L-bombs’ around, the same could not be said of Binky and Alex, who, despite living together and looking at holiday snaps adoringly on their iPads, have been unable to utter the immortal words to one another – until Alex was accused of cheating on Binky, natch.

It was clear trouble was brewing as soon as Binky told Spencer during their joy-riding session in the muddy plains of Surrey: “I just don’t want any drama to happen.”

Cue Andy telling “not in my Givenchy mate” Spencer the very next scene that he had heard rumour of Alex’s alleged infidelity.

All of this came to the fore in the highly predictable “party show down” in the episode’s final fifteen minutes, in which the cast confronted each other in the usual awkwardly forced way, dressed in Game of Thrones-inspired garb.

It may be absurd, far-fetched and representative of less than one per cent of the population, but the Monday night entertainment is back. Yeah boi!