Business Diary: Join Moody's in the deep end

One or two people have questioned the judgement of the credit ratings agency Moody's over the past few years and now we have definitive proof that it is not entirely sound. An invitation has arrived from Moody's to a press reception it is holding at London's Haymarket Hotel. Specifically, in the swimming pool there (not, we assume, actually in the pool, but at the poolside bar, though the agency doesn't say). Insert your own gag about making a splash here.

Seeking bankers' deposits

City professionals will today find themselves targeted by a new marketing campaign from a bank with which they may not be that familiar. The London Sperm Bank – which is keen to attract more London-based professionals – is to begin running advertisments on the Tube. "Be special, give sperm" is the strapline, rather missing the obvious gag about bankers.

City economist bites back

Not every hard-nosed, City pro agrees with George Osborne's determination to get the deficit down at all costs. Meet James Carrick, chief economist at Legal & General Investment – the largest investor in the -FTSE 100. "Despite announcing the harshest austerity plan since the Second World War, the Government has been predicting a steady economic expansion," says James. "This implies the biggest private sector boom ever and that is not possible." Clear enough?

Rock picks staff for ad campaign

Northern Rock, the state-owned bank, is following the example of some of its more successful private sector rivals. It is to begin using staff members in its advertising campaigns. The first stars will be call centre workers Leanne and Joanne, bringing some levity to the dry topic of mortgages. Presumably they're saving the taxpayer a bob or two on expensive actors.