Here are seven people having a much worse day than you

We all have those facepalm moments but the poor souls featured on the Today I F--ked Up Tumblr and Subreddit are miles ahead in the embarrassment stakes.

The best posts on TIFU, “a community for the dumbass in all of us", reach soap opera levels of tragicomedy - people who've made mistakes, people whose plans backfire, people who are possibly getting what they deserve.

The SubReddit where people volunteer their fails-of-the-day is wildly popular, and now the best (or worst) posts are being collected on the TIFU Tumblr.

Who knows if they’re real - either way, they’re addictive. Here are seven of our favourites:

1. This guy, who claimed he has been using the toilet wrong his entire life.

Our toilet broke so I was in shopping for new ones and the sales person joked (no doubt for the millionth time) that I'll want one that automatically puts the seat down after I'm finished with it. I ‘joked’ back and said if I didn't have a wife I could save money and not buy one with a seat and I'd never have to hear women complaining about putting it down again. To which he gave me a strange look and said “but what about when you need to poop?”.

That was the moment he realised that he had been sitting "on the rim of the bowl."

"Several embarrassing moments later, I realise that I've misunderstood my entire life and that guys do indeed use the toilet seat," he concluded. "Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Especially how men's restrooms have seats."

2. Don't try to be funny. Ever.

A kid on the bus makes a funny face at me so I make a funny face back. We're stuck in traffic so we get into a little contest and exchange funny faces for the next while. The kid is an amateur, he just keeps pulling the same face. I've got an arsenal full of funny faces so naturally I crush him and win the battle.... To my horror, only then do I realise that the child was never making a funny face at me. He is disabled.

That's one way to make friends.

3. Many posts are toilet related. One user thought they'd embrace the great outdoors with an aqua dump:

As I backed away, I hit a big rock, and fell backwards. As I fell under water, the poop literally rushed up my nostrils. After about two minutes of vomiting in the water, I put on my clothes and went home.

It was quite literally God punishing me for doing something I should never have done in the first place.

4. And another took a while to ask his girlfriend about some strange behaviour:

One man moved in with his girlfriend and quickly began to find some strange granules in the shower after she used it. Eventually, he confronted her.

I explained the strange matter that I would find in the tub every morning, and it didn't look like residue from any of the products that she used, so I couldn't imagine what else it could be. There was a pause before she began giggling hysterically. “I use my morning coffee grounds as a face scrub!” The amount of relief that washed over me was intense, but I was only able to enjoy it for a few seconds before she stood up and said, “Wait.. how long have you been suspicious exactly?" “A couple weeks after moving in was the first time I noticed, why?” “.........YOU THOUGHT I WAS S--ING IN THE SHOWER AND YOU WAITED 5 MONTHS TO CONFRONT ME ABOUT IT?!”

5. This man peed 'too hard'

User Benvol held it in for four hours at a work meeting ten months ago. When he finally got to the bathroom it was crowded, which meant there were many people there to witness this:

I started getting really light headed and lost my balance. I took 2 steps back and passed out, falling straight on my back. I was probably only passed out in the floor for less than 5 seconds, but that was plenty enough time for about 10 of my coworkers to see me stumble back, fall in the floor with my d--k hanging out of my pants, and then piss into the air like an angel statue in a park all over myself and the floor. I'm not sure I can show my face there tomorrow.

6. This man pretended not to know what a potato was while meeting his girlfriend's parents

We're skeptical about this, but NotKnowPotato claims to have joked that he did not know what a potato was while meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. To avoid looking like he had a terrible sense of humour when they did not laugh, he really committed to the joke.

I had to commit 100% ... When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like 'Enough is enough. You're f--king with us. Admit it.' And I said 'Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you.'

7. Last but in no way least, this man claims to have vomited on a corpse:

My grandad died on friday and today I went to see him for the first time. I drank too much last night and I'm feeling rather fragile today. An unbearable hangover mixed with overwhelming sadness was too much for my poor little stomach evidently and now my deceased grandfather is covered in my regurgitated Special K.

For more jaw-dropping fails check out TIFU here and here.

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