Three years ago, Ruby Rose cancelled a string of public appearances and posted a series of worrying messages on Twitter. In one of them, she wrote: “It is with great sadness that despite everything I have tried in the short time I was given I am still losing my battle with depression."
At the time, the gender fluid actress was gripped by a depression that was serious and worsening. After packing her things and abruptly leaving Australia for the US, Rose checked into rehab to seek treatment in order to manage her illness and ensure it no longer managed her.
Rose was subjected to intense bullying as a teenager and struggled with bipolar disorder and depression for years. But after successful treatment, her career has gone from strength to strength and Rose is now a popular actress and LGBT advocate.
However, she was reminded of being in the throes of depression when a fan sent her the old tweet on Saturday, evoking painful memories for Rose, who is now urging anyone else who may be in a similar situation to seek help.
Addressing her original tweet and the circumstances surrounding it, the Orange is the New Black star wrote on Instagram: “A fan just tweeted this to me three years ago to the day. What a wake-up call. I'd be lying if I didn't say it shook me up to see it. To be reminded of this feeling, this moment.
“When I posted this in relation to abruptly leaving Australia and cancelling a string of shows and commitments, I had hit rock bottom. I couldn't find happiness anywhere except my dog's face and even that wasn't enough.
“I thought I had failed at being a human [and] being an adult.
"I didn't know what to do so I left for America to work with trauma therapists and I spent pretty much all the money I had made in my life on an overpriced rehab and a lot of therapy (There are definitely other ways to do it ). I slept on a blow-up mattress when I got my first apartment in Santa Monica, I adopted a dog before I furnished my place. My dog, Ru, had a bed before me.
“I don't want to ramble on, I'm just feeling reflective because I chose to fight and I thought it meant I'd be able to live. I didn’t think it meant I'd be able to live my dream. I didn’t think it would result in this extraordinary life I get to be a part of now. It just makes me wonder how many others are days, hours, seconds away from realising their worth, their potential. And once the dark cloud is lifted will be truly happy and free.”
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