Andy McSmith's Election Diary: How the campaign taught us some new words

A quick, post-poll word or two

It is over. If you have not voted already, too late now. But before the election campaign of 2015 fades from the memory, here are a few fragments you might want to savour, and one or two you would prefer to forget.

The campaign added a new word and a new phrase to the language. The phrase “brain fade” was new to me, at least, until Natalie Bennett rather bravely spoke about it at a press conference about the catastrophic interview she endured on LBC. I suspect people will find it a useful addition to the lexicon. By contrast, the new word that was added to the language will be, I suspect, of no use to anyone ever again. The word is “Edstone”, used to describe that toe-curlingly embarrassing PR stunt by Ed Miliband to have six vacuous pledges carved on a huge slab of limestone which he has threatened to place in the garden of 10 Downing Street. If that happens, let us hope that Westminster council serves the party with an order to have it removed.

Tough times for Ed

But credit to Ed Miliband for still being in contention. Not since Neil Kinnock led the Labour Party to defeat in 1992 has the leader of a major party endured the level of hostility and ridicule poured over Miliband’s head in this campaign – and yet he is still there. His finest moment? When he narrowed his eyes and told Jeremy Paxman: “Hell yes, I’m tough enough.”

The day Cameron got lively

David Cameron hit his zenith on the Monday of last week, after he had been accused of meandering through the campaign as if he did not care whether he won or lost. He put an end to that talk by nearly blowing a gasket before an audience of new entrepreneurs. With jacket off, and face fiery, he declaimed: “If I’m getting lively about it, it’s because I feel bloody lively about it. It’s decision time – that’s what pumps me up!” The same day, an Ashcroft poll showed the Conservatives six points ahead: it was almost the only poll in the campaign that gave either party a clear lead.

Winning streak for Ukip?

This has not been an easy campaign for pollsters to call, with so many parties in contention. We will soon know whose snapshots were the most accurate. But there is one forecast that stands out for its ringing confidence. That was from the commentator Dan Hodges, who tweeted, on 15 December 2012: “If Ukip break 6 per cent at the next election I’ll streak naked down Whitehall in a Nigel Farage mask whilst singing Land of Hope and Glory...” It will be interesting to hear from Mr Hodges when the maths is done.

Furious George gets the stump

It has been an angry campaign in parts, but surely the worst moment – not least because one of the people involved will be an MP this morning – was at a hustings in Bradford West at which, to cheers from his audience, George Galloway accused his Labour opponent Naz Shah of being a liar, because she had said that she was forced to marry at 15, and he said that she was “16 and a half”. Big difference.

Vote Tory, says the ‘Telegraph’. Really?

Thousands of innocent people have received a weird, unsolicited email. Most are likely to have been Daily Telegraph readers, but many were not. What united them all was that their email addresses were on a Telegraph database. Into their in-boxes popped a “Dear Reader” message from Telegraph editor Chris Evans, telling them that this election was “the most important since 1979” and “The Daily Telegraph urges its readers to vote Conservative”. Chris, old son, anyone who reads your paper knows that already. And people who don’t read The Telegraph probably don’t want an email from you telling them that they do.