Andy McSmith's Election Diary: Lord Ashdown turns the airwaves blue

Nick Clegg’s friend Lord Ashdown set what is possibly a record for British political commentary yesterday when he used the word “bastards” seven times in a four-minute television interview. The bastards he had in mind are right-wing Tories who want to get Britain out of the EU.

He was implying that it is a bit rich for Sir John Major to warn that a minority Labour government would be open to “blackmail” by the SNP, when a government led by David Cameron would be just as vulnerable to the threat from the right. Paddy Ashdown, who was Lib Dem leader when Major was Prime Minister, has vivid memories of “16 bastards” holding Major’s government to ransom.

Actually, in the beginning there were three. One day in 1993, John Major was chatting off the record to ITN’s political editor Mike Brunson about the grief he was getting from the anti-EU brigade, unaware that a microphone was feeding his words to BBC technicians.

He complained about three “bastards” in his cabinet who were making trouble. Brunson understood him to be referring to Michael Howard, a future Tory leader, Michael Portillo, now a broadcaster, and Peter Lilley. In no time, rebels were proudly calling themselves “bastards”. Teresa Gorman made it the title of her memoirs.

“The Conservative Party today has not 16 bastards, but 60 bastards, right-wingers who want to do a deal with Ukip. As the 16 bastards crucified Mr Major last time, they will do exactly the same with Cameron,” Lord Ashdown warned.

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Bond as Fleming created him

Nigel Farage has dived into the debate over who should replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond. “You’ve got to be faithful to Ian Fleming, the original writer,” he opined. He meant – I think – that any notion of a black or female Bond should be ruled out. But to be faithful to the books, surely the actor should be a sexist, snobbish, upper-middle-class Scot who eats scrambled eggs and is about 93 years old.

Where’s Edwina?

Where is Edwina Currie, a correspondent asks, noting that the former Conservative MP, who was a household name 25 years ago, and whose once secret lover Sir John Major is back in the news, hasn’t been seen in public since the dramatic finale to I’m a Celebrity... last December, when she had a dizzy fit and passed out from exhaustion. You will be happy to know that Ms Currie – or Cruella, as they used to call her – will be a pundit on Good Morning Britain on the morning after polling day.

Quote of the Day

“The Conservatives are so toxic that it would be very, very difficult to make common cause with them.”

Liberal Democrat Andrew George is not enthused by the idea of another bout of coalition with the Tories.

What? No discord?

There was excitement at the arrival on Twitter of Charles Moore, biographer of Margaret Thatcher and former editor of The Daily Telegraph. He gained about 6,000 followers with his first tweet, in October 2013, in which he declared “where there is discord, may I bring more of it”. Alas, he has shown no staying power. His eighth tweet, warning that “our Christian beliefs are under attack from influential and militant atheists”, was posted a year ago. Since then, no more discord. Shame.

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