David Cameron stands up to make a victory speech he never thought he would utter

Life proved more dramatic than art, but everyone kept their composure

The speech that the PM could not have believed he would utter during his ruthless campaign for another term (Getty Images)

It’s the routine-sounding first sentence of David Cameron’s speech outside No 10 that he must have hardly dared, during the five long weeks of his ruthless campaign for another term, to fantasise he would ever utter. And that he will surely want to keep repeating at top volume in the coming days, in the privacy of his bath, or on his morning run.

Probably with the kind of triumphant punch in the air that would have been indecorous in Downing Street.

“I have just been to see Her Majesty the Queen and I will now form a majority Conservative government.”

No wonder Samantha Cameron – in a startling dress in which (Tory) blue in front and high-viz (Scottish nationalist) yellow at the back appeared to symbolise the new electoral map of Britain – was smiling broadly as she joined Cameron for the walk through the front door of the home for which they have been granted another five-year lease.

“Kiss! Kiss!” the photographers cried in vain.

But what underlined the scale of this “sweetest victory of them all” as he had earlier described it to party workers, was the dizzying speed with which his three main political opponents resigned their party leaderships .

Or in the case of Nigel Farage, sort of resigned, in that after declaring “I feel an enormous weight lifted form my shoulders” – and adding a little improbably “I have never felt happier” – he announced he would take the summer to consider “whether to put my name forward and do the job again”.

David Hare’s play Absence of War, which enjoyed what now seems like an eerily prophetic pre-election tour and is based on Neil Kinnock’s 1992 defeat, ends, as Ed Miliband’s party leadership did yesterday, at the Cenotaph.

The victorious Tory PM describes his Labour opponent as a “decent and honourable man” just as Cameron said yesterday of his, that he was “clearly in public service for all the right reasons”. And the vanquished Labour leader muses: “Could we have done more? Was it possible?”

Miliband didn’t use that language yesterday, at least in public. Nor did he lament, as Hare’s character does, “being told that everything I love and value no longer meets the needs of the day”. Instead he insisted that “the argument of our campaign, the issue of our unequal country will not go away”. But he did take “absolute and total responsibility” for the result.

Miliband accepted "total responsibility" for Labour's showing (Getty) (Getty Images)

Yet just as the result was in its way more unexpected than 1992’s, yesterday was more dramatic than any mere play. And it was the losers that made it so. The atmosphere before Miliband’s appearance at the Institute of Civil Engineers was hushed and almost funereal, all the more so because of the room’s oppressive wood panels and thick carpet.

Among the waiting supporters – or mourners? – were Miliband’s Chief Whip and fellow Doncaster MP Rosie Winterton sitting with Lord Falconer, who had been charged with overseeing the transition to the power that had seemed within grasp until 10pm on Thursday.

In the event Miliband was warmly applauded for a model speech of gracious surrender. He clearly didn’t think it was the partisan moment to bemoan that the Tory campaign had castigated Labour for “wrecking the economy” as if there had been no banking crash. Or the time to point out that while promising £7bn in tax reductions, the Tories had failed to say where a further £12bn welfare cuts would fall.

Nor did he argue, as he might have, that the threat to the Union may now be greater after five years of Tory majority government than the Prime Minister repeatedly claimed it would have been under Labour.

Instead he promised a fight to keep the country together after the gains by the SNP. And he even thanked the public “for the selfies, and for the most unlikely cult of the 21st century – Milifandom”.

Earlier Nick Clegg’s farewell speech inside the tomb -like grey walls of the ICA’s Nash room had been as riveting, as dignified but somewhat different – and longer.

There were real tears from one or two supporters – and a standing ovation from all of them as Clegg, too, made no attempt to minimise – even masochistically dwelt on – the “catastrophic losses” inflicted by results “immeasurably more crushing and unkind than I could ever have feared”.

Lord Ashdown, who had said shortly after 10pm on Thursday that he would “eat his hat” if John Curtice’s exit poll – the one that put all the other pollsters to shame – was right, sat in the front row, applauding with the best of them.

Perhaps understandably, Clegg, looking pale and tired, was not his normal conversational self. He said he was proud if the defeat was part-payment for the “lives we changed for the better because we had the courage to step up at a time of crisis”.

“I believe the history books will judge our party kindly for the service we sought to provide to the nation” by forming the coalition, he added.

Maybe. But that could depend on who is writing the history.

Ed Miliband’s words

The issue of our unequal country will not go away, this is the challenge of our time, the fight goes on, and whoever is our new leader, I know Labour will keep making the case for a country that works for working people once again… I believe in our United Kingdom, not just because it is our country, but because it is the best way of serving the working people of our country. I believe that there is more that unites us than divides us across the whole United Kingdom, and all of us in the months and years ahead must rise to the challenge of keeping our country together.

David Cameron’s words

We will govern as a party of one nation, one United Kingdom. That means giving everyone in our country a chance so that no matter where you’re from, you have the opportunity to make the most of your life. It means giving the poorest people the chance of training, a job, and hope for the future. It means that for children who don’t get the best start in life, there must be the nursery education and good schooling that can transform their life chances, and, of course, it means bringing together the different nations of our United Kingdom.

I have always believed in governing with respect. That’s why in the last parliament we devolved power to Scotland and Wales and gave the people of Scotland a referendum on whether to stay inside the United Kingdom.

In this parliament, I will stay true to my word and implement… the devolution that all parties agreed for Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Governing with respect, recognising that the different nations have their own governments as well as the United Kingdom government. Both are important and indeed with our plans, the governments of these nations will become more powerful with wide responsibilities.