As Article 50 makes clear, from the moment it is triggered there are only two years to correctly pre-apportion blame for the failure of Brexit and so we must commend our Prime Minister for getting on with the job with such terrifying gusto.
There she stood, on the steps of Downing Street, accusing Brussels politicians of ‘seeking to affect the outcome of the general election’ and, despite the shock, despite all the manufactured outrage, she was absolutely right to do so.
You can never be too careful, with a twenty-one point lead against the least credible opposition leader there has ever been, so if Jeremy Corbyn does do it, historians will soon agree she was absolutely right to start pointing the finger at Brussels now.
"Britain’s negotiating position in Europe has been misrepresented in the continental press," she thundered. Somewhere on an unwatched mantelpiece, a cup and saucer shattered. "The European Commission’s negotiating stance has hardened. Threats against Britain have been issued by European politicians and officials. All of these acts have been deliberately timed to affect the result of the general election that will take place on 8 June."
That’s right. Course they have. And while we’re at it, it was Brussels that called for the referendum in the first place. It was Brussels that triggered Article 50. It was Brussels that called the general election and so, of course it follows that if Theresa May loses it, it will be Brussels’ meddling that did it.
Of course, "no deal for Britain is better than a bad deal," we know that, even if Theresa May did say so again. But hang on (and with full apologies for the length of the quotation but every next line is just that little bit more sensational than the last), what’s this?
"Making Brexit a success is central to our national interest. And it is central to your own security and prosperity.
"Because while there is enormous opportunity for Britain as we leave the European Union, if we do not get this right, the consequences will be serious.
"And they will be felt by ordinary, working people across the country. This Brexit negotiation is central to everything.
"If we don’t get the negotiation right, your economic security and prosperity will be put at risk and the opportunities you seek for your families will simply not happen.
"If we do not stand up and get this negotiation right we risk the secure and well-paid jobs we want for our children and our children’s children too.
"If we don’t get the negotiation right, if we let the bureaucrats of Brussels run over us, we will lose the chance to build a fairer society with real opportunity for all."
That’s right people. It’s Brussels playing fast and loose with your children’s future. They did all this. Not me guv’. Not my party. There’s the plane door. Put that parachute down and jump. It'll all be the ground's fault.
We've hardly got going yet. What happens when Brussels won't stand for it? It'll be the Remainers next.
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