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Barack Obama shares the three questions you need to ask before choosing a life partner

'Life is long. These are the things that really matter over the long term'

Maya Oppenheim
Friday 06 July 2018 19:09 BST
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Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship is routinely exalted as the type of union to which we all should aspire. The former president not only showers his former first lady with praise in speech after speech, but frequently shares tender messages to her on social media.

If you were pondering the secret to their 25 years of wedded bliss, a major hint can be found in the three questions Mr Obama recommends people wondering whether they have found Mr or Ms Right ask themselves.

In his new book Yes, We (Still) Can, Dan Pfeiffer, Mr Obama’s former communications director, shares a revealing conversation he had with his boss on his last day back in 2015.

As the pair discussed future plans, Mr Pfieffer opened up about his relationship.

“So are you guys moving together? This is the one, huh?” he recounted Mr Obama asking him.

Mr Obama is then said to have imparted the pearls of wisdom.

“Here’s the advice I give everyone about marriage: is she someone you find interesting?” Mr Pfeiffer quoted Mr Obama as saying in an excerpt from the book recently shared on social media.

Mr Pfeiffer admits the question baffled him initially, but Mr Obama sought to clarify it, saying: “You will spend more time with this person than anyone else for the rest of your life, and there is nothing more important than always wanting to hear what she has to say about things.”

The next two questions were more straightforward.

"Does she make you laugh? And I don't know if you want kids, but if you do, do you think she will be a good mum?" he continued.

"Life is long. These are the things that really matter over the long term,” he told Mr Pfeiffer.

After pondering the former president’s questions for a moment, he replied his partner was "incredibly interesting, funnier than I am and will be a phenomenal mum".

Mr Obama later went on to attend his wedding.

The former first couple, both Chicago natives, met in the late 1980s at a local law firm called Sidley & Austin. At the age of just 25, Michelle was assigned as a mentor to an associate, a charismatic young man with a ready smile called Barack.

Michelle resisted when he first asked her out, once saying in an interview that she felt it would be “tacky" if they started dating because they were ”the only two black people“ at the company.

But she did not put up a fight for long. They started stepping out together that summer. By 1991 they were engaged, with the wedding the following year.

In May, she shared a photo from their October 1992 nuptials, saying the pair are “still having fun”.

“Twenty-five years later, we’re still having fun, while also doing the hard work to build our partnership and support each other as individuals,” the former first lady wrote.

“I can’t imagine going on this wild ride with anybody else.”

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