When football club Christmas parties go wrong

It's the Christmas party season, and while you think your own office bash might get a little out of hand, we ought to remind you that you haven't seen real drunken malevolence until you've seen either The Independent's Comment desk in action – or you've stumbled across a footballer club party.

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The latter often seem to end up with blue lights flashing and lawyers working overtime. These are some of the worst. Be very afraid.