In a professional career spanning two decades, Simon "Smudger" Smith has played for over 67 clubs. The ultimate utility player, as his pace has diminished he has reinvented himself time and again, from poacher to holding midfielder, centre-back to goalkeeper.
The big news from Uefa this week is that, much like "The Macarena" in the 1990s, the 2020 European Championship is going to be played all over Europe. Some say that, also like "The Macarena", it is probably going to be a poorly coordinated shambles. I like the idea, though, and think that, again like "The Macarena", it's going to be a lot of fun and will be a great chance for drunken Brits to get off with some girls from mainland Europe.
The Champions League group games drew to a close and, with some big sides like Real Madrid finishing second, teams will be anxious to avoid a difficult draw in the last 16. Manchester City and Chelsea went to extreme lengths to do so and I think their risky tactic may have backfired.
Chelsea parachute into the Europa League, which this week threw up a real "battle of the drinks", in which the wine of Bordeaux beat the brown ale of Newcastle. Presumably they will now face the winner of the Red Bulls of New York against Frozen Daiquiri FC.
Eyes will be glued to the big contest in Manchester this weekend. The winner is likely to be at the top come Christmas Day. Personally, I'm backing Jahmene to take the crown before the city welcomes the big derby tomorrow.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer called City United's "little brother" this week, which I thought was quite sweet. It's nice to think he sees a fraternal relationship between the two, with United doubtless putting an arm around City after their disappointing exit from Europe. I suppose we could call Carlos Tevez a hand-me-down. I just hope United don't resort to noogies and nipple-cripples come tomorrow.
Follow me on @smudgersmithpro
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