Fulham vs Man City result: An expectant win against an utter waste of perfectly good parachute payment

Fulham 0-2 Manchester City: Victory puts City in top spot by a point but result came at a cost as Sergio Aguero was forced off with injury ahead of a crucial run of fixtures

Frankly, what did you expect? Anything other than a resounding Manchester City win here would, you feel, have been a profound shock. You can’t be losing to these, not at this stage of the season. And so, after the enforced hiatus of international week, the champions eased back into their four-pronged assault on world domination by systematically dismantling a Fulham team who while not mathematically relegated, are already looking like an utter waste of perfectly good parachute payments.

In a way, it was hard to gauge just how good City were here. That was how bad Fulham were: a team who looked like they had learned to play football by watching YouTube videos, who lacked nothing in spirit but everything in technique, whose parodic attempts at playing out from the back made you want to cover your eyes and mutter about the humanity of it all. After being donated two goals within the first half-hour, City seemed content simply to let the game unspool to its inevitable conclusion, to save fuel for the more exhaustive tests ahead.

It will have been doubly hard viewing, you suspect, for Liverpool, now bumped down to second place once more, and perhaps ruefully contrasting City’s afternoon stroll with their late scare here a fortnight ago.

If there were any crumbs of comfort, they came from the occasional nervous touch in defence, some late scruffiness on the ball, some loose finishing, the absence of the breathtaking, full-throttle attacking combinations of which City are frequently capable. Still, in City’s defence, they weren’t remotely required here.

Have three points ever been more soporifically earned? There was, at the outset, an opportunity for City to be tested here. Fulham have been on a gentle upward curve ever since Scott Parker was appointed a couple of months ago, and even if it’s come too late to save them, an early start, a few sleepy eyes and a rigid back five from the home side at least threatened to make City work for their win bonuses.

Instead, Fulham’s resistance lasted less than five minutes. That was as long as it took Timothy Fosu-Mensah - still on loan from Manchester United, and not exactly making a watertight case for a role in the Solskjaer revolution - to pass the ball straight to Kevin de Bruyne 30 yards out. Bernardo Silva sashayed inside, took a look, took a touch, and fired the ball low past Sergio Rico.

Bernardo Silva punches the air in delight after putting City ahead against Fulham (Getty)

Gosh, Fulham were awful in those opening minutes. With Aleksandar Mitrovic still not fit and no clear outlet up front, Parker had clearly encouraged them to work the ball forward rather than lumping it. The results, for a side low on confidence against a well-organised press, were disastrous.

Within 15 minutes, the home fans were ironically chanting “ole” whenever their team managed to string a few passes together in their own half. And such was their opponents’ ineptitude, City were at times content to stand off and simply let Fulham pass themselves into oblivion. So it was, then, that on 27 minutes Joe Bryan tried to lay the ball back to Cyrus Christie - a simple, innocuous 10-yard ball - and instead stubbed the ground with his toe. Bernardo gathered, and within seconds, Sergio Aguero was slamming the ball in from a tight angle to the delight of fantasy football managers everywhere.

Sergio Aguero doubled the lead before half-time (Getty) (Getty Images)

The last hour of the game passed in something of a haze. Pep Guardiola took Aguero off reasonably early for Gabriel Jesus. On 55 minutes, a protest took place at the extortionate ticket prices for home fans this season, a reminder that bad football is not the only indignity the Fulham faithful have had to endure during a horrible return to the Premier League. Occasionally Fulham managed a cross, an attack, a series of promising throw-ins. Crazy times. Golden memories.

But the City striker was forced off the field in the second half with injury (EPA)

City strove for a third, but in truth: not that hard. Raheem Sterling missed a few chances. Kyle Walker smashed the ball against the post after a nice move. On the sidelines, Guardiola pushed the heel of his hand into his eyes, trying to rub the last remaining granules of sleep from them. It was that sort of game, and if City keep winning like this, it could well be that sort of title race.