The Sketch: Simon Carr

At last, Mr Speaker defies the Toniban

More good news. Am I getting institutionalised? The most senior figure in our democratic process, the Speaker is visibly growing in stature. Look at him. He's a Colossus. Except for being short. And balding. And Scots.

See how he's emerging from the suffocating authority of the Toniban! How he calls anti-war backbenchers from the Government side. One after the other, like a tolling bell calling the faithful to evensong: Tam Dalyell. Oona King. Patrick Hall. Annabelle Ewing. Jeremy Corbyn. Kevin McNamara. Malcolm Savidge.

So the Prime Minister is forced to confront the effect of cluster bombs. The minimal aid getting through to Afghanistan. The 2.5 million deaths in the Congo. The derogation from the EU human rights legislation. The American missile strategy. One after another.

So hats off for Mr Speaker! Hats off, damn you! Marvellous independent mind. Unless (and this can't be true) he's been told to do just this. Unless this is Downing Street's strategy to counteract control-freakery charges (in this case, chief whip Hilary Armstrong's cack-handed efforts to shut up Paul Marsden). No, the Sketch cannot believe that. Lest cynicism consume us, we must have heroes.

Which brings us to Iain Duncan Smith. The man goes from strength to strength. Mr Duncan Smith is the new leader of the Tory party. (On a point of information, "Tory" is another word for "Conservative", and "the Conservatives" are the Opposition party.) Mr Duncan Smith is in the process of launching a bold new parliamentary strategy to revitalise his party's fortunes. He's going to lie low for six months. Boldness has never been much of a friend of the Conservative party these past five years, and Mr Duncan Smith has discerned this. He is going to keep his head down. Bide his time. Find his feet. Polish his shoes. Or if the party's passion for novelty continues, find his shoes and polish his feet.

There is much to commend this. He is sensible, rational, softly-spoken. In parliamentary terms: invisible. That is a modern Tory way of being likeable. You can't dislike someone if you don't know that they're there. The plan is clever. Damn clever. Almost oriental in its cunning.

He's also wrong-footed Government ruffians. They want to brand him as a right-wing maniac. They wind themselves up to whoop and jeer. But then they find themselves with nothing to whoop and jeer at. He's coming in under their radar. Well done, Dunkers. Brilliantly inauspicious start. Like the Speaker (and look how he's turned out). Good man. Carry on.

It's the long game. If Mr Duncan Smith has got long, it might just work.

Simoncarr75@hotmail.com