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GOVERNMENT HEALTH Warning: Anything can happen at a Phil Kay gig. On one memorable occasion, the endearingly barking Scottish comedian (right) found a board and just went for a spontaneous surf across the audience. "Good shows are where you're Mister Mad and climbing the balcony," affirms the man with the straggliest beard in Britain. You have been warned.

Glasgow Cottier Theatre (0141-357 3868) 8pm

The storming success of Goodness Gracious Me has really put British-Asian comedy on the map, but that's not the only show in town. Don't Look at My Sister - Innit! is a lively sketch compilation on subjects such as Bollywood, from One Nation Under a Groove. Waterman's Arts Centre, Brentford, Middlesex (0181-568 1176) 7.45pm