My Edinburgh: Sara Pascoe, Comedian
Friday 24 August 2012
Welcome to the Edinburgh Bragging Festival, I hope you like telling everyone how excellent you are! The first thing to do is hang pictures of your brilliant face everywhere, but much bigger than your actual face, so that everyone can see from 500 yards how brilliant your face is (who knew there was that much Photoshop in the world?) Next, collect as many stars as you can and plaster your face and your Twitter feed with them in a row. Now, we can all start getting jealous of each other!
But while sibling rivalry is a survival trait, as we compete for the food our parents can provide, STARS AREN’T A FINITE RESOURCE! They’re discovering new ones all the time! And anyone can buy them and name them! If you don’t like feeling envious, there are sensible ways of coping. Like whenever someone tells you about a good review, tell them it’s your birthday! If one of your peers tells you about a great gig they had, you tell them you had sex with a famous person! And on the day of the nominations (yes that’s right, this Festival is so competitive there is also actually a competition), if your name ISN’T read out, loudly announce your pregnancy (with little baby ‘Heineken’).
But if you really don’t like being jealous, you’d better avoid my show because it is so good you will wish that you wrote it and were in it.
Sara Pascoe - The Musical! Assembly George Square, to 27 August (0131 623 3030)
Holly Burn: The H Club. I’m in awe of Holly, she’s crazy fun and ballsy and has very original writing. I love all of her characters, but especially the woman who can't stop buying zoos. And Claudia O’Doherty: The Telescope. Claudia is the funniest person I’ve ever seen. Her jokes fly from every angle and nestle inside each other like Russian dolls. She’s incredible.
Final Top Gear reviewTV
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 BBC told new political editor must be 'impartial' with Nick Robinson reportedly stepping down
- 2 Number of young homeless people in Britain is 'more than three times the official figures'
- 3 Humans of New York image of crying gay teen receives best response yet from Ellen DeGeneres
- 4 The map showing the most dangerous tourist destinations in Europe, according to the Foreign Office
- 5 Swedish minister gives strongest case yet on why EU should stop turning away asylum seekers
More Britons believe that multiculturalism makes the country worse - not better, says poll
Nathan Collier: Montana man inspired by same-sex marriage ruling requests right to wed two wives
Greece crisis: IMF was pushed around by Angela Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy – and now it is being humiliated
Forget little green men – aliens will look like humans, says Cambridge University evolution expert
Girl, 7, stares down hate preacher at Ohio festival with pro-LGBT rainbow flag gesture
Osborne to cap family benefits at £23,000 – announced ahead of his post-election Budget