Observations: Kristen Stewart's musings from the Twilight zone

Before the first Twilight movie in 2008, I was a much more open person. Now I spend a lot of time looking at the floor in public in an attempt not to get noticed. It can get a little boring. But whatever sacrifices I've had to make as a rising star, my job makes up for it a hundredfold.

I won the Orange Rising Star Award at the Baftas last week. As I stood on stage at the Royal Opera House, I felt overwhelmed – in front of all these industry people, whom I don't just admire, but who are the foundation of what I want to do. It's hard to explain how it feels being in the same room as Kate Winslet. Perhaps it's similar to how a Twilight fan feels on seeing me in person.

Some people say I'm anti-Hollywood, but I'm really not at all. I just think it's pretty weird to show up at things that you have no reason to go to. To go out just for the sake of it is plain ridiculous.

I've been asked a million times in interviews about being a role model. I don't really like to consider it. I'm aware that people look up to me, but I am myself for myself and not for anybody else. I choose my work impulsively.

I've been walking around London in a hoody these last few days looking at all the old buildings. It's all fine until a diehard fan notices your sneakers. But I can always see a crowd and turn around and walk the other way.

In terms of history, we have nothing in LA. Here you can feel Jack the Ripper lurking around every corner. It's nicer here because there's a sense that I'm a real person. Perhaps I'm more of a novelty. In LA I tend to get people who gawk at me like I'm an animal, take pictures and scream things at me. There's no way of being open in public anymore. There's a five-minute exchange every 30 seconds that prevents me from even buying a loaf of bread at the grocery store.

Kristen Stewart was talking to Charlotte Cripps