Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief (PG)
Friday 12 February 2010
So here is how the dread Chris Columbus intends to fill the franchise-vacuum once Harry Potter finally departs the screen.
It's the same kind of deal: an unassuming schoolboy, Percy (Logan Lerman), discovers that he's got magical powers, what with being the son of Poseidon and therefore a demigod. The plot involves him trying to rescue his mum (Catherine Keener) from the jaws of Hell, though it's your own jaw that might need fixing as Hollywood does Greek mythology like you've never seen before. "A Fury, concealed in our school – I should have known," says Pierce Brosnan, playing a Chiron the Centaur, an all-in-one panto horse. Sean Bean glowers as Zeus, Steve Coogan camps around as "Hades", and Las Vegas does duty as Lotus Land. Percy, dyslexic in English, turns out to be a whizz at Ancient Greek – not that you'd know, given the level the screenplay is pitched at ("Beat it, nymphs!"). If they'd played it for laughs it might just have worked, but in fact its earnest tone and digimation effects stick pretty close to the Potter model. We could be in for a very long haul.
Children's bookseller wins The Independent's new author search
ReviewThese heroes in a half shell should have been left in hibernation
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Jack the Ripper: Scientist who claims to have identified notorious killer has 'made serious DNA error'
- 2 Banksy arrest hoax: Internet duped by fake online report claiming artist's identity has been revealed
- 3 Former East 17 frontman Brian Harvey turns up at Downing Street and 'demands to speak to Prime Minister'
- 4 Kentucky gang rape: 15-year-old boy left in critical condition after sexual attack by group at party
- 5 Paralysed man Darek Fidyka walks again after treatment by British doctors on brink of 'cure'
James Blunt finally admits the truth: 'You're Beautiful' is annoying
Downton Abbey review series 5, episode 5: Period drama falls disappointingly flat
Star Wars Episode 7 has almost finished filming
Fury, film review: Brad Pitt is intriguing as unsympathetic war hero
Batman v Superman: Side-kick Robin to be 'woman played by Jena Malone'
Cameron is warned 'no possibility' of UK reducing immigration and that bid to bring in quota on migrant workers would be illegal
Residents should throw a street party and mix with immigrant neighbours, councils told
Russell Brand threatened with arrest after filming outside Fox News headquarters
London bus driver 'kicks gay couple off for kissing'
Jose Manuel Barroso warns David Cameron against making 'historic mistake' over immigration reforms
Worst Airports of 2014: Poll names Islamabad airport in Pakistan worst in the world