My Edinburgh: Lucy Porter, Comedian
Monday 10 August 2009
I guarantee that if you follow my Edinburgh festival diet and exercise plan you will lose at least half a stone.*
Porridge with fruit - basically whatever fruit Richard Herring has bought and foolishly left in the fridge. I take as much as I can manage without him noticing.
A baked potato from with a healthy filling, plus salad.
Home-made wholewheat pasta with a light tomato sauce.
Plenty of water, fruit juice and herbal teas.
Running up and downhill to the Pleasance. I've joined the gym.
Toast and butter. Richard has become suspicious and I think he might be licking his fruit before he puts it in the fridge.
I didn't eat breakfast until about 11.30 because I've started getting up a bit later. So mid-afternoon lunch is the last time I'll eat before my 8.20 show, and technically counts as dinner as well. Call it linner or dunch. It's usually a quick sandwich.
A Tunnock's caramel wafer, or maybe two, to keep me going between dunch and showtime, plus a hotdog after the show.
A relaxing post-show glass of wine, maybe a couple more.
Walking to the Pleasance although guiltily I sometimes take a taxi. I'm still going to the gym, but largely just to sit in the steam room and sweat out the red wine.
On waking, I find a half-eaten bag of chips next to my face. I eat a couple and go back to sleep.
Can't really face eating before my show. Afterwards I manage a hotdog and two burgers.
A couple more hotdogs between late shows, a bag of chips, with the rest for breakfast next day.
Oh God, yes.
Weaving back home via Rapido for chips after getting thrown out a taxi.
*And a couple of years off your life.
TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre