Has technology killed romance?

 

There was a time when dating was simple. Ok, maybe simple is the wrong word; it’s never been simple, it was just a little easier. In the days before the Internet became weaved into the fabric of our everyday lives, finding a date was more of a natural process. Whether you were introduced to a potential partner through a friend, you met someone at work or you simply approached someone to show your interest - it happened if it happened. You had one phone that people could either contact you on or not contact you on. Better still, you didn’t even have a phone, you had love letters.

Then the Internet came along and completely revolutionized the way we see the world, creating new possibilities; from ways to interact with our friends and staying in contact with our families,  to meeting new people and forming new relationships. When Online Dating was introduced as a concept it changed the landscape of the dating scene completely. People were no longer leaving love down to serendipitous encounters, but instead, they were actively going out there looking for it.

Dating in the 21st Century

Whatever your relationship status; whether happily in a relationship, happily dating or happily single, our obsession with technology has inevitably changed the pattern of dating in the 21st century and produced a new format for modern day romance. Nowadays, it is paradoxical to play ‘hard-to-get’ since we’re constantly connected and our entire stream of self-consciousness is displayed for all to see online. For example, you can’t use the excuse ‘I was too busy to call’ or ‘I didn’t get time to reply to your message’ when everyone can see you’ve been actively updating your twitter feed and checking in on Facebook. In fact, communication is so fast and easy now that it’s removed the ‘thrill of the chase’ and killed romance somewhat.

We can tweet, poke or message someone without having ever met them in person. We check out their merits before giving them the time of day; scan their interests before showing our own interest and click through a selection of their favourite ‘tagged’ photos, because you know the ones they don’t want you to see have been carefully censored.

Whether we like it or not, the digital age has written a new guide book for modern romance. Phrases like ‘have you got Facebook?’ and ‘Tweet me’ are not uncommon to hear upon meeting someone new and e-flirting is the new ‘wooing’.

So how do we re-gain romance?

To a certain extent technology brings people together. Take online dating as an example; it allows you to cast your net a lot wider and gives you the opportunity to meet people who you otherwise would not have met. However, beyond that, creating and maintaining real relationships takes a lot of work. While online dating facilitates new meetings, it’s important not to forget about romance. After all, that’s what we’re looking for, isn’t it?

Once you’ve found someone online who takes your fancy don’t spend too long playing email tennis and end up feeling as though you’re starring in 90s blockbuster You’ve Got Mail. It can be all too tempting to continue the conversation online due to first date nerves , not wanting to step out of your comfort zone or convenience, but be careful not to.  Remember, online dating is just the first part. The idea is that you eventually log off and continue your relationship offline – in the real world.

The fact of the matter is, romance isn’t dead we’re just in danger of neglecting it. My advice? Visit your grandma and have her re-tell stories of how she was wooed by your granddad; how they spent evenings dancing on the kitchen tiles and how a love note said it way better than a sweeping 140-character tweet.

We know how important it is to find someone, whether it's for romance, friendship or a relationship, so whatever you’re looking for, join Independent Dating today and let us help you find it.

News
newsAnother week, another dress controversy on the internet
Life and Style
Marie had fake ID, in the name of Johanna Koch, after she evaded capture by the Nazis in wartime Berlin
historyOne woman's secret life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
Life and Style
Scientist have developed a test which predicts whether you'll live for another ten years
health
News
news... and what your reaction to the creatures above says about you
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn
Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

Yvette Cooper: We can't lose the election. There's too much on the line

The shadow Home Secretary on fighting radical Islam, protecting children, and why anyone in Labour who's thinking beyond May must 'sort themselves out'
A bad week for the Greens: Leader Natalie Bennett's 'car crash' radio interview is followed by Brighton council's failure to set a budget due to infighting

It's not easy being Green

After a bad week in which its leader had a public meltdown and its only city council couldn't agree on a budget vote, what next for the alternative party? It's over to Caroline Lucas to find out
Gorillas nearly missed: BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter

Gorillas nearly missed

BBC producers didn't want to broadcast Sir David Attenborough's famed Rwandan encounter
Downton Abbey effect sees impoverished Italian nobles inspired to open their doors to paying guests for up to €650 a night

The Downton Abbey effect

Impoverished Italian nobles are opening their doors to paying guests, inspired by the TV drama
China's wild panda numbers have increased by 17% since 2003, new census reveals

China's wild panda numbers on the up

New census reveals 17% since 2003