Gemma Hayward: My, hasn't she grown! With this sleek hair and glossy make-up she's actually starting to look like an adult. Is that a hint of a tan I see, too?
Hugh Montgomery: Forget Che Guevara T-shirts: truly there is no greater symbol of counterculture decline than Wednesday Addams with the hair of a Saturday.
Gemma: Most. Boring. Bag. Ever.
Hugh: And duly it hangs limply from her arm, as unloved as yesterday lunch's used Tupperware.
Gemma: Shame she's not dressing like an adult, though… Put your midriff away, love – you'll get a chill on your kidneys.
Hugh: Now this is more like it: the costume from an imaginary Goth cheerleading romcom that would have masterfully elided The Craft with Bring it On.
Gemma: At just over 5ft, Ms Ricci could do with a little help in the height department, but these are grim.
Hugh: These heels' cartoonish contours lead us to believe they may have been CGI'd in after. Which is one way to keep the legacy of Pan-Am going.