Trunk call: get shorted for summer

view gallery VIEW GALLERY

A good pair of shorts is the last line of defence your modesty has when it's time for the beach, which means it's worth doing your homework, says Lee Holmes

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a beach holiday must be in want of a good pair of trunks. But stepping poolside is fraught with pitfalls with regard to what type of swimwear you actually wear. Feeling the sand between your toes will count for naught if you're not prepped and ready for your close-up.

First, you should do your research before you buy – and try on as many styles as you can bear. This is something you would do when purchasing a winter coat, so it's important you apply the same method when investing in the last line of defence to your modesty on the beach. Unless you're of the Adonis mould, the need to feel comfortable and look your best in this state of undress is far more challenging than when you're fully clothed.

One of the most popular styles still, is the board short. But here's a look that really suits only the archetypal Californian surfer dude, whose very idea of dressing for beach-bar cocktails is to jazz up his “look” with a cowrie-shell necklace. Go figure.

Fortunately, the pendulum of fashion has already begun to swing the other way, with the dominance of the board short waning, and the emergence of the shorter swim short. Equally providential is the result, as this style works well on most men; think Jude Law in The Talented Mr Ripley. And this shorter length – above the knee, ideally sitting on the thigh – has the added bonus of making stumpy legs look longer too.

It also performs well under the pressure of prints and patterns, with muted colour tones working best if you're feeling less than confident and don't want to draw too much attention to yourself on the beach. Plain block colours are excellent also, but be wary of white, especially if tight, as this will leave you looking flashy and a little trashy.

This, inevitably, leads us to the teeny-tiny-swimwear style of dressing. Very few people can pull this look off, with it often having the reverse effect of the aforementioned Law-ly moment. Now you're channelling Matt Damon from the very same film, only this time wearing a pair of lime-green falsetto-inducing trunks. In real life, styles such as these should be left to the likes of Olympic frat boy Ryan Lochte.

For most of us, it is the tailored swim short that is perhaps the victor when it comes to the most flattering bathing suit. Throw on a casual shirt and this swimwear will see you through from pool to beach bar. And, most importantly, pairs that come with a cinched-in waist are good form if yours is imperfect, ensuring that you're not that man who brings his “excess” baggage to the beach.

Sport
football This was Kane’s night, even if he played just a small part of it
Travel
travel Dreamland Margate, Britain’s oldest amusement park, is set to reopen
News
news
News
Founders James Brown and Tim Southwell with a mock-up of the first ever ‘Loaded’ magazine in 1994
media
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
News
Threlfall says: 'I am a guardian of the reality keys. I think I drive directors nuts'
people
Voices
voices The group has just unveiled a billion dollar plan to help nurse the British countryside back to health
News
The Westgate, a gay pub in the centre of Gloucester which played host to drag queens, has closed
news
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Fashion

    Ashdown Group: Practice Accountant - Bournemouth - £38,000

    £32000 - £38000 per annum: Ashdown Group: A successful accountancy practice in...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £23000 per annum + Uncapped commission: SThree: Does earning a 6 figu...

    Recruitment Genius: SEO Executive

    £18000 - £25000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

    Recruitment Genius: New Lift Sales Executive - Lift and Elevators

    £35000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A challenging opportunity for a...

    Day In a Page

    The saffron censorship that governs India: Why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression

    The saffron censorship that governs India

    Zareer Masani reveals why national pride and religious sentiment trump freedom of expression
    Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

    Prince Charles' 'black spider' letters to be published 'within weeks'

    Supreme Court rules Dominic Grieve's ministerial veto was invalid
    Distressed Zayn Malik fans are cutting themselves - how did fandom get so dark?

    How did fandom get so dark?

    Grief over Zayn Malik's exit from One Direction seemed amusing until stories of mass 'cutting' emerged. Experts tell Gillian Orr the distress is real, and the girls need support
    The galaxy collisions that shed light on unseen parallel Universe

    The cosmic collisions that have shed light on unseen parallel Universe

    Dark matter study gives scientists insight into mystery of space
    The Swedes are adding a gender-neutral pronoun to their dictionary

    Swedes introduce gender-neutral pronoun

    Why, asks Simon Usborne, must English still struggle awkwardly with the likes of 's/he' and 'they'?
    Disney's mega money-making formula: 'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan

    Disney's mega money-making formula

    'Human' remakes of cartoon classics are part of a lucrative, long-term creative plan
    Lobster has gone mainstream with supermarket bargains for £10 or less - but is it any good?

    Lobster has gone mainstream

    Anthea Gerrie, raised on meaty specimens from the waters around Maine, reveals how to cook up an affordable feast
    Easter 2015: 14 best decorations

    14 best Easter decorations

    Get into the Easter spirit with our pick of accessories, ornaments and tableware
    Paul Scholes column: Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season

    Paul Scholes column

    Gareth Bale would be a perfect fit at Manchester United and could turn them into serious title contenders next season
    Inside the Kansas greenhouses where Monsanto is 'playing God' with the future of the planet

    The future of GM

    The greenhouses where Monsanto 'plays God' with the future of the planet
    Britain's mild winters could be numbered: why global warming is leaving UK chillier

    Britain's mild winters could be numbered

    Gulf Stream is slowing down faster than ever, scientists say
    Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

    Government gives £250,000 to Independent appeal

    Donation brings total raised by Homeless Veterans campaign to at least £1.25m
    Oh dear, the most borrowed book at Bank of England library doesn't inspire confidence

    The most borrowed book at Bank of England library? Oh dear

    The book's fifth edition is used for Edexcel exams
    Cowslips vs honeysuckle: The hunt for the UK’s favourite wildflower

    Cowslips vs honeysuckle

    It's the hunt for UK’s favourite wildflower
    Child abuse scandal: Did a botched blackmail attempt by South African intelligence help Cyril Smith escape justice?

    Did a botched blackmail attempt help Cyril Smith escape justice?

    A fresh twist reveals the Liberal MP was targeted by the notorious South African intelligence agency Boss