Is it a diary? Is it an ad? No, it's a mummy blog
New mothers are turning to the internet in ever greater numbers to record the highs and lows of parenting. Susie Mesure reports
It initially gave lonely new mums the chance to reclaim some form of social life once they'd finally got DD* or DS* down for the night. But the phenomenon that is mummy blogging is gaining a life of its own, turning from a virtual take on the church hall coffee morning to something approaching a business for many of the UK's emerging community of parent bloggers.
Mummy bloggers report companies are queuing up to bombard them with the latest children's DVDs, books, shoes and even kid-friendly holidays in the hope of scoring a favourable online review that might help their product to stand out amid the clutter in a fiercely competitive children's market.
Some blogging parents (there are a handful of dads among the mums) get at least 10 pitches a day from retailers and brands keen to harness one of the internet's newest sub-groups. And earlier this month, Butlins took a group of bloggers to the launch of its Ocean Hotel Spa in Bognor Regis, hoping to swap a free mini-break for some free publicity online.
Although a handful of mummy blogs were around as far back as 2006 – three years is an eternity in webworld – the vast of majority of bloggers such as mommyhasaheadache or londoncitymum are much newer to the scene. One relative old-timer, Laura Driver, who has been writing arewenearlythereyetmummy? for the past 13 months, said: "I can't believe how quickly it is snowballing. There used to be just a few high profile mum bloggers but now there are so many starting up each week that you can't keep up with them all. It seems everybody is fighting for a place in the top 100. People are getting quite frantic about it."
Last week, British Mummy Bloggers, a forum for the burgeoning community, hit a milestone when its 500th blogger signed up. By last night, it had gained another 25 members. Susanna Scott, who set up BMB in late 2008, said the UK was making up for its slow start compared with the US, which has at least 6,000 mummy – or mommy – blogs. "Mums used to share information over a coffee at the church hall. With blogging, you can effectively have a coffee morning whenever you want – even at midnight if that is when you have a laptop and a few minutes to yourself," she said.
The boom means that "everyone is targeting mummy bloggers these days", according to Ms Scott, 44, who has three daughters and writes four different blogs, including A Modern Mother. She has reviewed products for Dyson, HP, Sainsbury's, Snapfish, Disney and Blu-ray. "The whole market has gone crazy. I get, not kidding, about six to 10 pitches a day," she said.
Dulwich Mum, the nom de blog for another veteran, Bea Parry-Jones, is another popular target for companies anxious for an online mention. "I've been on luxury holidays, I've been sent designer coats, DVDs, handbags and copious amounts of cosmetics," she said.
As Dulwich Mum, she doesn't review products as such, but will instead "name drop appropriately" – product placing for a digital readership. What Ms Parry-Jones, who has more than 1,000 readers for her satirical musings, doesn't do is regard blogging as a get-rich-quick scheme. "I have a job. I don't see blogging as a business," she added.
Others, like Tara Cain, who writes Sticky Fingers, insist they're "not a news service" for new product launches. Instead, her blog is "the perfect online diary for the big things you don't want to forget" about her children. She discovered mummy blogs while she was pregnant, enjoying them for the "nitty-gritty details and brutal honesty" they provided about parenthood.
Freebies aside, most bloggers regard writing online as a form of escape. Catherine Sanderson, who is the "petite anglaise" who has been blogging about her life as an expat' British mother in Paris for the past three years, said: "I found it a nice way to reach out at a time when my social life had been reduced and I was groping to find my identity again."
*DD stands for Darling Daughter, while DS is Darling Son
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Comments
Im amazed that people are getting that many PR pitches, i'm in the top 50 and I get maybe one every two weeks! A few more would be welcomed here as staying at home with the kids is an expensive business. We were lucky enough to go to Butlins though.
I wonder if more and more mums are turning to blog as they are becoming more familiar with them, a few years ago few people knew what they were nowadays even your neighbour has one. I think this relates to the emergence of newspapers and broadcasters using them as a form of outreach. Its become much more accessible to set one up.
I have to admit though, my feeling is that there are becoming far too many out there and that topics are being repeated over and over again, sometimes in a rather inarticulate manner. I reckon that eventually there will be far too many and only the best and most dogged will survive. Hats off to everyone doing it though, its hard to run a house, manage the kids, go to work and sit down and blog!
claire http://www.beingamummy.co.uk
Sure it's great to receive an email from a PR company asking you to 'review' their wares but oft times their pitch is so poorly put together and so inappropriate for your blog that you end up feeling more angry than delighted. Or is that just me!
No I don't want to review nappies (I have a 6 and a 4 year old) and no I don't want to publish your press release.
If PR companies want to continue to get the most out of this community they need to learn how to speak to us properly and understand what makes us tick.
No we are not businesses. I personally will happily write about something which appeals to me and my family but other than that I politely refuse.
And for anyone reading this and wondering why we all bother, there is a fantastic community of parents out there right across the globe, all willing to talk and share and welcome you with open arms.
I didn't get that from the books and magazines and TV shows I sucked up when I was pregnant.
Tara@Sticky Fingers www.stickyfingers1.blogspot.com
When I started the Tots100 index of the top 100 British parent bloggers 12 months ago we had around 200 blogs that were ranked - last month there were over 1,000 submitted for inclusion in the index, and we're getting more requests every day. The index, which is published at http://www.whosthemummy.co.uk is a great place for anyone looking to discover the UK's best Mummy blogs.
Sally
We all write for different reasons, I've always wanted to record the mad life we have and a Blog is the perfect place to do it.
I do get asked how much I'm paid and do get asked if I get lots of free 'stuff'.
I think if you only go into Blogging for perks, you won't last long, there needs to be something really entertaining, a substance and depth to one's Blog, remember you may get asked to review for Andrex but we all know what happens to toilet paper!
http://www.froginthefield.blogspot.com
I didn't start blogging because I was lonely and had no social life, but more because I wanted to use my brain and have a little something for myself. There is a social life attached however and I've made some really good mates as well as other highlights such as receiving a Blu Ray player and films, books and othere electrical appliances to review, and being filmed by Disney and offered trips to Florida which I sadly had to turn down, but others were able to take advantage of.
It is nice to have a voice and be heard, but even if no one was listening we'd still be here. (It is blumming lovely that they are listening though.) :D
I am one of the many people who subscribe to & enjoy newmummy's blog, and think it is an entertaining, light hearted read. I also have a baby a few months younger than hers, and keep a blog for much the same reasons - as a personal record, and for FUN. You see many of us do this, not for praise & literary acclaim, but because we ENJOY it. Isn't that the whole point of blogging? An open platform where anyone can choose to write about whatever they like, regardless of background or qualifications?
If it's not to your taste, then fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to advise others not to even look, is I think perhaps over-estimating the importance of your own opinion, and insulting the intelligence of others to be able to decide for themselves.
To reiterate, it's subjective - what you look for in a blog is your business - why not just pass by those you don't appreciate rather than leave unnecessary derogatory comments?
Secondly, to suggest that newmummy's blog 'reflects poor light' on BMB, is again just insulting. BMB is "the place to meet other blogging parents' - not the place to be moulded into a Daily Mail columnist with perfect grammar and no sense of humour. As already mentioned, most members - do it for the FUN of it. It's a hobby, an enjoyable pastime, not a career!
Thirdly, we're 'ripping off PR agencies'? Really? Don't you think that the PR experts know what they're doing & that they only act in their client's best interests? If the companies they represent weren't seeing any return on their investments - don't you think the 'freebies' would soon dry up? And again, you've missed the point anyway - the majority of us couldn't care less whether our blogs are read by 10 people or 10,000 people - we do it because we *enjoy* it.
Lastly, to describe what I have only ever experienced to be a friendly, supportive, intelligent & funny group of parents as a "small incestuous group", IS rude, and it IS insulting. And that's not me getting myself 'hot under the collar' (beautifully condescending by the way), it's just annoyance at someone not recognising that a community of strangers with a common interest can enjoy getting to know each other, trading stories, offering advice and so on, without there being any hidden agenda to get a free-ride on the parent train by blogging about all the great stuff we've ripped off big companies for.
But maybe we're all just getting it wrong?
Perhaps you could link us to your own blog. You know, so we can get a feel for how it should be done?
A bit mean spirited commenting on here about the quality of someone's blog in such a spiteful manner.
The beauty of blogging is it is open to everyone and anyone and if you don't like their style then don't read it.
The blogger you are refering to has a large following so she is obviously speaking to someone out there and they are coming back for more.
I have read blogs which are grammatically perfect and well put together but they just don't do anything for me. But I would never write to them telling them they suck - everyone's a critic, doesn't mean everyone's right.
As for this top 100 league table, I have had the pleasure of discussing the origins of this with the people who originally comissioned it and the blogger herself who put it together, it is primarily constructed to generate traffic and advertising revenue. This "check out your rating and pop my badge on your site" is a blogger advertising her blog, nothing more. The original "metrics" were and continue to be laughable, I am looking at the spreadsheet right here on my desktop. The top ten is created by Cision - http://www.uk.cision.com/Resources-p
Neither is the Tots100 index about awarding badges to special friends it is open to any blogger and any blog. Everyone is assessed on precisely the same metrics, which include several metrics suggested by bloggers themselves.
I did share the first index spreadsheet with several bloggers in the early days, and am grateful for all the feedback I received to help make the index as rigorous as it is today and I do believe its pretty rigorous.
Of course, one might argue that Cision - a media database company that earns revenues by selling media and blog contact information to PR agencies worldwide - has substantially more of an agenda in creating an index, no?
Sally
www.whosthemummy.co.uk
I just feel that if you are going to advertise your blog widely then try not to say the same as eveyone else. I have a really finite amount of time and I am becoming really frustrated with the number of blogs I am directed to which are written in text speak and say nothing. Its hard to sort the wheat from the chaff. Although, I think time will sort this out a bit. People just after PR bounty will get fed up after a while and those only half heartedly doing it will go and do something else.
In the same way, dont steal topics. This has happened to me many times, especially with really obscure posts. Its word for word often.
Yes, talk about potty training, but do it with humour, originality and not as a thinly veiled appeal to a marketing company. Try to use grammar and the spell checker, its just good practice!
As far as im concerned, BMB is a special club, its nice to be part of it. If you affiliate yourself with anything, you assume the values of that thing. My understanding is that it is full of hard-working, friendly, helpful, witty mums trying to do their best and also improve their writing.
If you want to do an on-line diary just for family, then keep it that way. I am not saying you shouldn't become a member of BMB but perhaps keep a low profile?
For me, blogging is a creative process. I want to do the best that I can at that particular moment in time. The internet is a creative place and a lot of the stuff on there is now being kept as archives in public collections. Its a good record of a particular time. Remember that! The way I view it, it is very much like writing letters. Many of these are kept forever. Don't ever write anything you are not happy to be associated with.
Despite blogging for 2 years, I only fairly recently joined BMB because I was happy to keep a low profile. However, now I would like to expand my writing skills beyond the academic and I find it really useful to get the opinions of others.
I hope this clarifies where I am coming from a bit. Please don't all shoot me down in flames or anything. It was an innocent little comment, coming from a person who always has the best of intentions!
Claire
http://www.beingamummy.co.uk
Before I started it I'd never heard of 'Mummy Bloggers'. I stumbled upon the whole concept quite by accident through Twitter. So this whole world is all very new to me. I didn't start a blog because I was lonely, I started it because I wanted to get the thoughts in my head out and also have a diary for me and my children to look back on. I think an added bonus is that I feel able to make a connection with like minded people.
I'm not in it to start a business, make money or become famous. I'm in it because I just like it. Full stop.
For anyone who likes writing it would be silly of me to say I didn't want to be read. Of course I do, but I don't plan on focussing on being number 1 in a chart or having the most followers. Those things are just an added bonus but not the focus.
I've never been asked to do a review, but if I were it would be carefully considered. I have no plans to sell out. I just like to write, that's all.
With time I'm sure PR companies will learn how to pitch to bloggers, some blogs will become commercial ventures others will be updates for family and friends. I'm new to blogging but have always written. Blogging gives me a chance to share my writing and experiences with an audience and join a friendly online community. If no one wanted to read my blog I'd assume I wasn't very good, but I'd still write it anyway. http://babyrambles.blogspot.com
The vast majority of the parent blogs I read are from highly talented people who are trying to balance work, life, money etc, to be the best parents they can be, many having set up their own business enterprises to help make the parental juggle easier. I have all the usual suspect books on pregnancy, child birth, parenting, toddlers etc. but none of them are as constructive as a post about my experience or concerns and a series of comments saying "that happened to me and I tried this" or even better the reasurance of "yeah, that's normal" because in the crazy whirlwind of motherhood my books just collect dust!
As yet unmentioned are the thoughts behind the causing factors in the growth in this community. May I suggest its growth is a symptom of a larger issue - the lack of family friendly working opportunities available to women and men? For me being self employed was the flexible working solution which our family circumstances allowed me to make, many of the blogs I read are written by similar entreprenuerial spirited parents who do a great job of supporting and promoting one another. So when there are product or service reviewing opportunities, which my experience as a parent will help other parents make a more informed decision, then I think that is a positive thing all round.
Long may the blog rolls continue to roll!
Claire
http://clairelancaster.wordpress.co
Through BMB we now also have The Great Toy Guide (www.greattoyguide.co.uk) and the Mothers Secrets blogs (http://www.amothersecrets.com/), both of which I now contribute to.
Long live Mummy Blogging, I feel it gives a parent the reassurance that their child is not the only one to throw tantrums/refuse to eat/or throw a full potty all over the floor. It also works in a way that rather than feeling embarrassed to ask a health professional about a problem and feeling like a neurotic parent, we can ask each others advice and have a good laugh in the process.
Claire-http://20somethingmum.blogspot.c
My baby was overdue and I went through a long and difficult induction process. These 'Mummy Bloggers' that I had come to consider friends wrote posts just for me on their blogs to wish me luck and give me encouragement, I have never felt so in awe of a group of people who had after all only just met me. When my baby was born he was in the SCBU for a few days and it when I wrote about my experiences the comments that I received really helped me come to terms with my experience and be reassured that I was doing a great job at being a Mum.
Now, I have a three week old baby and a support system that I personally would not have found without blogging and Twitter. I ask for advice and it is given freely. I am a very shy individual that has issues meeting new people and making small talk. I also have very few friends with babies. Blogging is my parent and baby coffee morning, it is just there whenever I need it, even at 4am when it feels like I am the only person in the world.
Yes, some blogs do reviews (I did a book review, and will probably do more in the future), some spend a lot of time trying to get traffic on their blog and some want to develop it further and make a living from it. If you can, good for you. But even if this is the case, the person doing the writing in my experience tends to be a kind, considerate, supportive person who just wants to share their experiences and get support from other people like them.
Kelly http://youfoundkelshidingplace.blog
Mummy blogging is a social revolution - it's mothers talking about the real world of motherhood - messy, challenging and occassionally very, very funny.
Long may it continue!
http://amazingthings-dryeye.blogspot.co
The vast majority of these PR bods are very knowledgeable and also work hard to make sure they get their game mentioned in the press as much as possible. Sites like the one I run do receive review copies of the latest games, and contrary to popular opinion are not badgered into giving good reviews. However publishers do expect their review copies to go to good homes.
After all, there's no point sending a disk to some tiny website with three readers. And while the disks themselves aren't really worth anything the time PR people spend dealing with you is expensive. I know from personal experience that you need unique readership figures in the tens of thousands, and in some cases hundreds of thousands, to expect to do business with certain games publishers.
Which makes my new experience in the realm of what we'll call "mummy blogging" all the more odd. The PR reps that deal with mummy bloggers are clearly completely out of their mind. I constantly see bloggers being offered free foreign holidays and expensive baby equipment despite probably having a readership of a few hundred unique visitors a day (and I'm being generous there).
Perhaps the PR reps get confused by all the site activity - lots of comments. But it's often the same bunch of bloggers posting on each other's blogs in some kind of PR-baiting little club. I've found it quite amazing really. These PR reps are paid a lot of money by big companies to promote their wares, provided with thousands of pounds of free tat and holidays - and rather than doing some research into which sites may best serve their aims, they dump the lot on the nearest bunch of vocal yet unpopular bloggers.
The games industry would have a fit at the waste of money. And I expect the companies who employ these PR reps would too if they knew their gear was being offloaded in way that was little different from dumping the stuff down the local tip.
There are many brilliant blogs out there written by people who are read widely. And many of these bloggers are parents - though not necessarily marketing their site as a mummy or daddy blog. It's sites like this that PR reps should be seeking out - ones with varifiable and strong traffic - not the small circle-jerk specialist parent wafflers.
I must admit to rebranding my site a little recently as a daddy blog. That was partly down to a wish to bring some more traffic in. Though relatively modest, my readership has built up over the past few years and is quite steady and surprisingly large (thanks folks I really do appreciate it). I was thinking the site could be a nice little earner if I could bring the old mummy and daddy blogging crowd in.
But having seen the way the PR reps just throw money at every insignificant little site (like mine) it all seems a bit dishonest. You see such high value items going to sites with little or no audience and you wonder who benefits. The site owner I guess for getting free tat. The PR rep wins because they've ticked the boxes for what they were supposed to do that week. But somewhere there's a company that is heavily investing in such campaigns and I doubt they are seeing much of a return.
The more stuff that's been offered for review over the last few week the more I've felt it's a business I really don't want to get into. Forget being a daddy blog, I'll just carry on with the usual nonsense and along the way talking about being a parent too.
Sure, some are better than others. Some have more traffic. Some have a devoted community who aren't just active online but in the real world as well (the kind of people who write books, say, or are quoted in articles that then drive traffic to their blog...etc). But to liken the core community to a circle jerk misses the point. Blogs are influential and the landscape online is always shifting. You think companies spending money by sending parent bloggers on a trip to Disneyland or Butlins is a waste of money? Consider how much copy they got out of it, how it will pop up everytime someone searches for a review online, how often it has gotten mentioned in print. These bloggers are taking advantage of the clueless corporations? I don't think so.
It's not the cost of the goods that is expensive, it's the cost of employing the PR company. If you're paying (tens of) thousands of pounds to an agency to advertise your products, you want clear focused targeting.
Why are people being attacked for spending time doing something that they enjoy? Yes there are blogs out there that you might not personally like, where the spelling and punctuation may not be A Level standard but if that is the case - simply don't read them. Choosing which blogs you follow is just the same as choosing which magazines or newspapers you read. It is a personal choice.
The internet is a very large place and there is room there for all bloggers be they professional writers or first time mums trying to find their feet as they enter a new part of their lives.
I would like to suggest that if you have nothing to say but petty belittling criticism then you should keep your comments confined to the pages of your own blog.
http://www.yummymummytips.com
I have to say that this is one trend which I'm pleased to see growing - I don't think the internet is going to become saturated by too many mummy bloggers for some time yet! I hope more mummy's are inspired to take hand to keyboard and get typing!
Emma in Bromley
What I love about mummy/daddy blogs is that they're real. They have soul. They have heart. They're what good writing should be about. I have read some posts recently - including ones by New Mummy - which have made me laugh and cry. And I'm a very experienced journalist and Editor who has commissioned and edited work by some of the highest profile writers and columnists you can think of. For the record, half of them can't spell.
Liz Jarvis (www.kidstart.co.uk/livingwithkids)
On the point of freebies - from when I was a marketer myself, a lot of research goes into selecting the right people to approach, afterall, you are entrusting them with your brand.
From a mummy's perspective - I think it's fair to say, most mummy's value integrity and their blogs!
Emma in Bromley
http://emmainbromley.blogspot.com/
We all know that's what spell check is for!
I am mommyhasaheadache and I started my blog in 2006. Also my blog is not really about kids or parenting it's just a place to let of steam and have fun!
Cheers
www.mommyhasaheadache.blogspot.com
Though some mum bloggers took issue with the description of being "lonely" I think you were spot on. Having a newborn can be very isolating and blogging is a way to connect with others in the same situation. This is not the only factor, but it the beginning it is a strong one.
http://www.amodernmother.com
http://www.britishmummybloggers.co.u
http://www.thamesvalleymums.com
http://www.londonmumsblog.com
http://www.expaymumsblog.com
If you use an Apple Iphone, get nostalgic in toys shops and love all things Web then I think we have something in common whether you have ovaries or not.
My site is rubbish though if you need to know about breastfeeding in public. http://www.kidsoup.tv