Football. He used to play it. He used to manage Chelsea. Now he manages Newcastle and is Britain's highest-paid football manager. But the Geordies aren't doing very well: in fact they keep losing. Ruud has to shout at them a lot and he has fallen out with Alan Shearer. He is possibly contemplating a flit back to his native Holland, where his lovely young inamorata Estelle, 21, and baby daughter Joelle, two, live in Amsterdam.
"A world-wide heart-throb whose dark eyes and irresistible smile have made him the fantasy lover of millions of women," according to the Sun. A bit of a looker, then. Also frequently dubbed "flamboyant". Man with a tarantula on his head.
As well as his latest offspring Joelle, Ruud has four other children, Felicite, 13, and Charmaine, 11, with his first ex-wife, Yvonne de Vries, and Quincy, seven, and Cheyenne, five, with his second ex-wife, Italian model Cristina Pensa.
According to second wife Cristina, Ruud is a dab hand with red roses and dirty dancing. "He was an expert lover, the most romantic man in the world," Cristina shyly told the Sun. Mmmmm! So romantic that he has recently failed to pay maintenance for all four older sproglets, misses their birthdays, and won't speak to their mums.
Stuck in the cold wastelands of Newcastle, Gullit misses Estelle and Joelle very much indeed, particularly as Estelle has put her foot down and said she doesn't want to live on the Tyne. "It hurts at times that I don't see them for two or three weeks. And if my family needs me I will always put them first," he commented, in a charming display of fatherly commitment.
In this country, pretty good, at least in the short term. Tension at work, sporting scandals and a family feud simultaneously: what more could we ask? Much less if he disappears back to Amsterdam. And in the long term, also less certain. Most football managers aren't that interesting when things are running smoothly, after all.