Tatler got off to a cracking start of term on Monday with its annual schools awards ceremony, a lavish bash held at Claridge's.
Scooping the gong for best prep-school head was Patrick Mattar, headmaster of Norland Place in Holland Park. The judges' decision must have come as a happy surprise to Tatler editor Catherine Ostler and her husband, Albert Read, the head of Condé Nast – they're parents at the school.
Oh, what a hurley Burley
Sky presenter Kay Burley put in an appearance at the launch of Quentin Letts's book Letts Rip!, having shamelessly demanded an invitation live on air. Alas, she didn't stay long enough to get even with another guest, Labour MP Chris Bryant. A clip of her interviewing him has become a YouTube hit after he called her "a bit dim" on air. Now he claims he didn't know it was Burley he was talking to: "I had no idea," he told me. "She was just a voice in my ear. I couldn't see her, I could only hear these stupid questions."
The Eyre affair
A sorry day for the single men of Fleet Street: Hermione Eyre has got engaged. The brilliant young Evening Standard feature writer, formerly of this parish, is to marry parliamentary researcher Alex Burghart next year. In her days at the IoS, Eyre would often be accompanied by Deryk, a small Yorkshire terrier. What will Deryk make of it all? "Happily they get on very well," Eyre reassures us. "Deryk is looking forward to being a dog-in-law."
Dr 'Effer forgets 'is manners
The Daily Telegraph's Simon Heffer is all over the place at the moment, promoting his new book wot teaches how to speak English proper. But editor Tony Gallagher is said to be slightly miffed that Dr Heffer – to give him his correct title – has dispensed with the usual protocol of asking permission before making media appearances. The Times on Monday was giving away a free book on punctuation. Isn't the Telegraph missing a trick?
Unholy erratum at Time Out
Publishers of a book called The Pope is Not Gay, a sarcastic analysis of the Pontiff's sexuality, seem surprised it hasn't been reviewed more widely; so far only the London Review of Books, the Catholic Herald and Time Out, where a review was written with the crucial word "not" omitted from the title. Happily for its legal team, the mistake was spotted and corrected just in time.
Clarkson joins The Spectator. Er, really?
The Spectator's redesign, described by editor Fraser Nelson as "rather like restoring an old oil painting", has drawn a mixed response. While the Bufton Tuftons of clubland choke into their kedgeree, confusion has descended over at The Guardian. It reports that "leading columnist Jeremy Clarkson" has been moved to a more prominent page. Last time we checked, Clarkson was a Top Gear presenter who writes rude pieces for The Sunday Times. Do they mean Jeremy Clarke?