Celebrity break-ups: What becomes of the broken hearted?

Sienna parties in Hollywood while Rhys drowns his sorrows in Cardiff

It happens incredibly rarely, but sometimes there is a reason for celebrities. Last week, the point of the rich and famous was to reassure the rest of us that, however wealthy they are, however gorgeous, talented or thin, celebrities occasionally have to deal with the same crap as we do. Even in Tinseltown, some things are inevitable. These things include death, taxes and getting chucked.

Just like so many break-ups, last week's split between Rhys Ifans and Sienna Miller seemed to come completely out of the blue. One minute she said he was her best friend, the love of her life, her soulmate: the next she dumped him on the phone. At least her modus operandi was respectful – she must have felt some residual affection, or she'd have got rid of him in an email.

Like normal people, Rhys and Sienna have each dealt with the break-up in a different way. While she immediately headed to LA to surround herself with sunshine, cocktails and beautiful people, he has gone to Wales. He needed to get home to the friends he could rely on, he said. Thanks to the pathetic fallacy, it was also pouring with rain in Cardiff.

While his tragic mini-break might seem counter-intuitive, Rhys's decision to head for the hills to nurse his broken heart could turn out to be the wiser.

Sienna will soon find that it is rubbish being miserable when it's hot and sunny and everyone around you is blonder and prettier than you are. She won't encounter nearly so much sympathy in the Sky Bar and the Viper Room as he will in Life, Kiwis and Fantasy Lounge. It'll hurt when she finds herself on Rodeo Drive when she could be in Chippy Lane.

Still, Rhys and Sienna's split-management techniques beat some in celebrity land. Neither one of them has so far sat in a market stall selling every scrap of furniture from their former love nest. She doesn't keep going back to his Paris flat to "walk their dog". Both heads are still unshaved, neither has tried to sue the other for £200m, and it's unlikely that either will appear on Panorama to apportion blame.

Looking on the bright side, he can finally start to wear heels again. Now all he has to do is to borrow George Clooney's statement about his recent split: "He is relieved to be single again. He thinks [she] is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her. The truth is they had little in common and he just doesn't want to be tied down." Ouch. That would teach her to dump him on the phone.

Start your day with The Independent, sign up for daily news emails
PROMOTED VIDEO
ebooks
ebooksA year of political gossip, levity and intrigue from the sharpest pen in Westminster
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs People

Recruitment Genius: HR Manager

£25000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are in need of a HR Manage...

h2 Recruit Ltd: Business Development Manager - HR Consultancy - £65,000 OTE

£35000 - £40000 per annum + £65,000 OTE: h2 Recruit Ltd: London, Birmingham, M...

Day In a Page

A Christmas without hope: Fears grow in Gaza that the conflict with Israel will soon reignite

Christmas without hope

Gaza fears grow that conflict with Israel will soon reignite
After 150 years, you can finally visit the grisliest museum in the country

The 'Black Museum'

After 150 years, you can finally visit Britain's grisliest museum
No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

No ho-ho-hos with Nick Frost's badass Santa

Doctor Who Christmas Special TV review
Chilly Christmas: Swimmers take festive dip for charity

Chilly Christmas

Swimmers dive into freezing British waters for charity
Veterans' hostel 'overwhelmed by kindness' for festive dinner

Homeless Veterans appeal

In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
Isis in Iraq: Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment by militants

'Jilan killed herself in the bathroom. She cut her wrists and hanged herself'

Yazidi girls killing themselves to escape rape and imprisonment
Ed Balls interview: 'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'

Ed Balls interview

'If I think about the deficit when I'm playing the piano, it all goes wrong'
He's behind you, dude!

US stars in UK panto

From David Hasselhoff to Jerry Hall
Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz: What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?

Grace Dent's Christmas Quiz

What are you – a festive curmudgeon or top of the tree?
Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Nasa planning to build cloud cities in airships above Venus

Planet’s surface is inhospitable to humans but 30 miles above it is almost perfect
Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history - clocks, rifles, frogmen’s uniforms and colonial helmets

Clocks, rifles, swords, frogmen’s uniforms

Surrounded by high-rise flats is a little house filled with Lebanon’s history
Return to Gaza: Four months on, the wounds left by Israel's bombardment have not yet healed

Four months after the bombardment, Gaza’s wounds are yet to heal

Kim Sengupta is reunited with a man whose plight mirrors the suffering of the Palestinian people
Gastric surgery: Is it really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Is gastric surgery really the answer to the UK's obesity epidemic?

Critics argue that it’s crazy to operate on healthy people just to stop them eating
Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction Part 2 - now LIVE

Homeless Veterans appeal: Christmas charity auction

Bid on original art, or trips of a lifetime to Africa or the 'Corrie' set, and help Homeless Veterans
Pantomime rings the changes to welcome autistic theatre-goers

Autism-friendly theatre

Pantomime leads the pack in quest to welcome all