I got knocked out a few times performing stand-up I did it early in my career as a way to express the punk attitude. [Allen fronted punk act the Atoms in the 1970s.] One night it would feel like I was sleeping with 127 virgins; the next night I'd get my arse kicked after making jokes about the Army. I got knocked out by soldiers twice. I'd get my own back by walking over seats and pissing on people.
The punk attitude still exists I think it's been embraced by a wider-ranging group of people. If you look at the people in the Occupy and tax-evading movements, they come from all walks of life and have embraced that attitude of opposition from the 1970s. It just doesn't come with bondage trousers and haircuts and piercings any more.
I thought that taking roles in 'Shallow Grave' and 'Trainspotting' might open doors for me But they didn't have a huge effect on my career. In my life, I've always been on the edge of everything – and there is a degree of choice to that.
One Direction prove you can generate success from anything Write your press pack, work on your PR and you can do whatever. I mean, really, you only have to look at Atomic Kitten to realise that a lot of these bands can't even sing a note!
Horse meat is fine if you want to eat it I eat enough of it when I'm in France. But the whole problem with this huge food industry is that it's not policed or regulated, and when multinational food companies steered the food industry away from local produce, it forced us into buying processed crap.
I buy very little food In the summer, 80 per cent of what I eat comes from my allotment. I grow everything from beetroots and leeks to apples and plums. The eggs laid by the chickens we have taste fantastic. Though this year it's been rather depressing, as we're always waiting for the mud to dry out.
The Bedroom Tax reform is disgraceful It attacks the poorest people hardest [by reducing housing benefit for under-occupied council tenancies]. It's saying, "We want you to downsize as you've no need for a spare room." But it's nothing to do with space efficiency; it's framed within an idea that we live to work, rather than work to live.
Litterers should be shot and killed The act of littering annoys me more than anything, particularly drivers who throw stuff out of the car window.
Do what though wilt should be the law We should be more responsible for our own actions: I would like it if people got the impression they had more control over their destiny as opposed to having it removed at every stage of life [by the state], mostly on financial criteria.
Keith Allen's new film, 'Vinyl', is released on Friday. The 59-year-old is also in 'Smack Family Robinson' at the Rose Theatre Kingston (rosetheatrekingston.org) from 28 March to 20 April