Pub Landlord Al Murray uses fire engine to launch FUKP election campaign for South Thanet

The comic creation is challenging Nigel Farage for the seat

Al Murray the Pub Landlord has launched his general election campaign for party FUKP by driving up to Thanet council offices in a fire engine.

"I am here in a fire engine today because there is a national political emergency going on and you [South Thanet] called for the fire brigade," he told Thanet Extra.

Labour were ridiculed after using a pink van to attract female voters, and the Liberal Democrat's bright yellow coach was laughed at for being too big to turn around.

Murray delivered his paperwork to be officially registered as a candidate, and will now begin the Free United Kingdom Party's campaign in earnest.

He served pints of lager for onlookers, and charged punters £3 for the privilege.

 

"This is the future of mobile booze disposal," he said. "We can't change the prices yet but if you want the 'penny a pint' policy, you vote FUKP!

"This is the most important general election since the last one and with all the front runners so close together in the polls, my 1 per cent chance could be critical in deciding the constituency."

Murray announced his intention to run for MP against Nigel Farage in the Kent seat in January. A Ukip spokesperson greeted the news saying: "At last, serious competition in the constituency."

web-al-murray-1-pa.jpg FUKP's policies, listed below, aim to instill "common sense" and promise something to do with a moon for Britain.

The pound in your pocket

"The pound will be revalued at one pound 10p, so it will now be worth 10p more. Common sense."

The NHS

"If you come to A&E and it's neither an accident nor an emergency then you will be sent to a random hospital department to be practised on. Common sense."

Foreign Policy

"Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying."

 

Immigration

"Of course the reason they are coming here is because this is the greatest country in the world. The only way to stop them is for a government to change that and make things a whole lot worse. Look no further. However, in the meantime, we brick up the Channel Tunnel. With British bricks. Probably have to get some Poles in to do it. Common sense."

Education

"I believe the children are the future and there's no way you'll get me knocking teachers. Teachers are on the front line, the coalface. Doing their bit to create a level playing field for our kids... although I'm not sure they're going about it the right way by making sure none of the kids can read and write. So, instead of a postcode lottery, a new improved Street Raffle will determine which schools your kids get in to. Common sense."

Scotland

"Alex Salmond to be made First Minister for Norwich, so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like. Common sense."

Europe

"I pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common Market sense. In the meantime Greece to be bought and operated by Kent County Council. Couldn't be worse. Someone to do the bins at least."

The environment

"Boris Johnson to be put on an island. He keeps saying that's what he wants."

Corporations and globalisation

"Blah blah blah blah blah paradigm blah blah blah, blah blah dialectic blah blah blah blah blah blah game-changer."

Homes for hard-working families

"Build some houses, but without bringing down house prices. How hard can it be?"

Defence

"National Service, but only for people who don't want to do it."

Law and Order

"Unemployment causes crime: I propose to lock up the unemployed. Common sense."

On Local issues

"South Thanet to be made the new capital of the UK. Demilitarised zone to set-up between North and South Thanet."

The Independent has got together with May2015.com to produce a poll of polls that produces the most up-to-date data in as close to real time as is possible.

Click the buttons below to explore how the main parties' fortunes have changed:

All data, polls and graphics are courtesy of May2015.com. Click through for daily analysis, in-depth features and all the data you need. (All historical data used is provided by UK Polling Report)

Comments