Life after Jehovah's Witnesses: website offers help to followers who lose their faith

It was only when Rachel Underhill was lying in a hospital bed, haemorrhaging, that she first realised the way of the Watchtower might not be for her.

She had just given birth to twins via an emergency Caesarean section. As a Jehovah's Witness she was subject to the whim of the church elders, and they made their feelings about a blood transfusion quite clear. As she was wheeled into the operating theatre, one of them pushed a form under her nose and said "sign here".

Ms Underhill, 32, from Brighton, East Sussex, was lucky enough to survive her ordeal without a transfusion, but the idea that her religion was encouraging her to risk her life was a defining moment.

She recalled: "I remember the anaesthetist coming in and saying, 'Do you realise you are going to die? Do you realise you will leave your children motherless?'"

When, years later, Ms Underhill finally escaped her religion, she launched a website to help former Jehovah's Witnesses rebuild their lives after leaving the faith.

For those who manage to sever ties with the Jehovah's Witnesses, life can be very isolated. Followers are controlled by strict laws that mean even the most everyday experiences, such as celebrating birthdays and Christmas or going out with friends, are completely alien to them.

On top of trying to navigate a world the sect has deliberately sheltered them from, many find themselves ostracised from friends and family who are still involved. "When I first came out of the religion I went from having this great support network to having nothing," says Ms Underhill. "All my friends, family and people from the church didn't want to know me." The site she created, called exJW-Reunited.co.uk, is now a year old and has recently started to offer Britain's first ever live online counselling service for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses.

Once a week, Lisa Magdalena, a qualified counsellor who ran away from the sect aged 16, is online to answer questions and provide support to anyone in the process of leaving – from finding new friends and a place to live, to dealing with the hurt and guilt of being cut off from family.

"Witnesses are taught never to seek help, which is why I'm so passionate about this website," says Ms Magdalena. "There are really high rates of suicide and depression among people that leave, and I want to be able to help people to get their lives back on track."

Ms Magdalena, 38, has seen first-hand the tragedy that the religion's extreme code can wreak on families. In the 1970s, when she was just two years old, her father, Keith Playford, died. He had continually refused blood transfusions that would have saved his life after a simple dental procedure to remove teeth went wrong. Just before he died, doctors made legal history by forcing him to receive blood, to no avail.

When Ms Magdalena ran away, she says she lost her family and friends and ended up homeless. "I had nowhere to live and no job; I was living on the streets for three weeks and I felt suicidal," she says.

"Lisa has been there and done it, so people won't have to explain anything to her," says Ms Underhill, who found that traditional counselling did not help. The strange and little-understood details of life as a Jehovah's Witness made it difficult to explain the pressures she had been under. "The counsellor just couldn't understand what I'd been through. I spent six of the eight sessions just explaining what the religion was about, and the way it worked."

Independent Comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
Top stories
News in pictures
World news in pictures
UK news in pictures
UK news in pictures
More stories
       
Independent
Travel Shop
South Africa
15 nights from only £1,899pp Find out more
Paris and the Cote d’Azur city break
Seven nights from £579pp Find out more
Seville, Granada and Malaga break
Seven nights from £549pp Find out more
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

PHP/ Drupal Developer - £35k - WC

£30000 - £40000 per annum + BENS: Progressive Recruitment: Drupal Developer A ...

C# WEB DEVELOPER

£45000 - £50000 per annum + bens: Progressive Recruitment: C# WEB DEVELOPER Le...

WPF Developer (C#, VB.Net) - North East - 6 Months

£240 - £260 per day: Progressive Recruitment: WPF Developer (C#, VB.Net) North...

KS2 PPA teacher

£85 - £120 per day: Randstad Education Cheshire: KS2 teacher needed to do PPA ...

Day In a Page

The price of pacifism: Refusing to go to war is finally being recognised as a brave act

The price of pacifism

From the Second World War refusenik to the 19-year-old Israeli, Holly Williams talks to five people who risked shame and suffering to take a stand as conscientious objector.
'It was mass hysteria': Jason Isaacs on groupies, theatre bores and snogging James Bond

Jason Isaacs: Groupies, theatre bores and James Bond

To millions, Jason Isaacs is one of Harry Potter's arch enemies – but his wife prefers him as a Scottish TV detective.
Notes from a small island: Is Sealand an independent 'micronation' or an illegal fortress?

Sealand: 'Micronation' or illegal fortress?

Thomas Hodgkinson spent a week at the tiny platform off the Suffolk coast to find out.
Not a bad bone: Mark Hix cooks with cutlets and ribs

Mark Hix cooks with cutlets and ribs

If you ignore cutlets and ribs, you'll risk missing out on some delicious and easy meals, says our chef.
Sir James Dyson’s latest project: Cleaning up hospitals

Sir James Dyson’s latest project: Cleaning up hospitals

Doctors are hailing the revamp of a Bath neonatal unit, where babies sleep more and feed better, as the model for patient care
One man returns to Argentina's town that drowned

One man returns to Argentina's town that drowned

Epecuen was submerged under 10 metres of water in 1985. Now the floods have gone – and 83-year-old Pablo Novak has moved back in
The real thing? Historian publishes Coca Cola's 'secret formula'

The real thing?

Historian publishes Coca Cola's 'secret formula'
Gordon Ramsey's worst nightmare: A restaurant he cannot save

Gordon Ramsay's worst nightmare: A restaurant he cannot save

The pugnacious chef finally met a shambolic restaurant he couldn't save. John Walsh on when TV makover refuseniks fight back
Join Ryanair! See the world! But we're only paying you for nine months a year

Join Ryanair! See the world! But we're only paying you for nine months a year

Glamorous myth of the flight attendant lifestyle undermined by angry employee's claims of 'exploitation'
Braising saddles: Did the recent furore scupper sales of horse meat? Neigh, far from it!

Braising saddles: How to cook horse meat

Did the recent furore scupper sales of horse meat? Neigh, far from it! Will Coldwell hoofs it to the kitchen.
Why bitters are back on the bar: A few little drops pack a big punch in cocktails

Why bitters are back on the bar

A few little drops pack a big punch in cocktails. No wonder we're learning to love them again...
The 10 Best barbecues

The 10 Best barbecues

Whether you're cooking on gas or are a convert to charcoal we've got the perfect way to cook when the sun is out.
Style icon David Beckham calls time on his long retirement

Style icon calls time on his long retirement

David Beckham never disgraced himself but former England captain ceased to be a major player years ago. Remember him at his United peak
Steve Harper: My darkest times

Steve Harper: My darkest times

As the popular Newcastle goalkeeper bows out after 20 years at the club, he tells Martin Hardy about the private battle with depression that threatened his career
Sir Torquil Norman has designed a flat-pack OX truck for the developing world

The flat-pack truck with big ambitions

After making a fortune from Polly Pocket and a doll's house shaped like a teapot, the entrepreneur has turned his creativity to a transporter truck for the developing world. Simon Usborne meets him.