Oscar Pistorius trial: Reeva Steenkamp's emotional message to Blade Runner weeks before her death - 'I'm scared of you sometimes and how you snap at me'

 

The full transcript of Reeva Steenkamp's message to Oscar Pistorius sent on 26 January, just weeks before she was shot dead on Valentine's Day last year, was the subject of intense scrutiny in court.

In it she writes that the athlete "picked" on her "incessantly" and his behaviour "scared" her sometimes.

The prosecution have used this in a bid to paint a picture of a possessive, jealous and often abusive boyfriend who accused Ms Steenkamp of flirting with other men and failed to pay enough attention to his needs.

The model and law graduate insisted that all she wanted was to "love and be loved" and make her partner "so happy".

During cross-examination today, prosecutor Gerrie Nel accused the Paralympian of screaming at his girlfriend and acting selfishly.

Pistorius rejected this, telling the court: "I didn't treat her badly." Asked if Steenkamp had lied that he picked on her incessantly, Pistorius replied: "She never lied."

The phone message in full

26 January 2013

Reeva to Oscar

14:17:34

I'm not 100% sure why I'm sitting down to type you a message first.

But perhaps it says a lot about what's going on here.

Today was one of my best friend's engagements and I wanted to stay longer, I was enjoying myself but it's over now.

You have picked on me incessantly since you got back from CT (Cape Town) and I understand that you are sick but it's nasty.

Yesterday wasn't nice for either of us but we managed to pull thro and communicate well enough to show our care for each other is greater than the drama that attacked us.

I was not flirting with anyone today. I'm in terribly disappointed in how the day ended and u left me. We are living in a double standard relationship where u can be mad about how I deal with stuff when u are very quick to act cold and offish when you're unhappy.

Every 5 seconds I hear how you dated another chick, you really have dated a lot of people, yet you get upset if I mention ONE funny story with a long term boyfriend. I do everything to make u happy and to not say anything to rock the boat with u.

You do everything to throw tantrums in front of people. I have been upset by you 2 days now. I'm so upset I left Darren's party early. SO upset. I can't get that day back.

I'm scared of you sometimes and how u snap at me and how u will react to me.

You make me happy 90% of the time and i think we are amazing together but I am not some other bitch you may know trying to kill your vibe. I am the girl who let go with u even when I scared out of my mind to. I'm the girl who fell in love with u and wanted to tell you this weekend.

But I'm also the girl that gets side stepped when you're in a s**t mood. When I feel you think u have me so why try anymore. I get snapped at and told my accents and voices are annoying.

I touch your neck to show you I care, you tell me to stop. Stop chewing gum. Do this, don't do that. You don't want to hear stuff, cut me off. Your endorsements, your reputation, your impression of something innocent blown out of proportion and f****d up a special day to me.

I'm sorry if you truly felt I was hitting on my friend Sams husband and I'm sorry you think so little of me.

From the outside I think it looks like we are a struggle and maybe that's what we are.

I just want to be love and be loved. Be happy and make someone SO happy.

Maybe we can't do that for each other. Cos right now I know u aren't happy and I am certainly very unhappy and sad.

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