Colonel Meow dead: slave-beasts and minions mourn

Colonel Meow, the cat with the longest fur in the world and the brooding face of an evil genius, has sadly passed away.

The two-year-old Himalayan-Persian cross-breed was an internet sensation, the cantankerous cat stealing hearts and minds long before grumpy cat came on the meme scene. Colonel Meow was loved for his regal eyes, furry frown and contemptuous curl of whisker.

Sadly after falling ill last year, the ‘World’s Angriest Cat’ passed away on Wednesday night. His fans raised $20,000 to cover his vet bills when his illness was first discovered and had already had a blood transfusion. Last night there was speculation that Meow had succumbed to heart failure.

Despite his ailing health, Meow remained haughty to the end, with his owners known as ‘Human Slave Beasts’ and his followers as ‘ Minions.’ His owner Anne Marie Avey posted on his Facebook page a final farewell to his 350,000 fans writing: “Thank you so much for your understanding minions, your love and support has meant the world to us both-Slave Beast.''

Meow was actually a rescue cat, found abandoned on the side of the road. However his evil genius meant that he was soon adopted by 28-year-old bartender from Seattle Anne Marie Avery. It was all part of a plan to achieve world-domination. From mere house cat to famous idol, Meow soon gathered minions far and wide, mobilising social media to satiate his thirst for power. Meow wanted to take over the internet and through this rule the world. After he was recognised by Guinness World Records for having the longest hair (9in) in the world, his ambitions were stronger than ever. In 2013 he became the new CEO of Buzzfeed.

The original sourpuss, it is clear that Colonel Meow will be missed by many. May you rest in purrs, dear leader.