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Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?

Palin should have said she was giving up politics to spend less time with her family

Sarah Palin is to quit her post as Alaska Governor

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Sarah Palin is to quit her post as Alaska Governor

Even to a Britain that now imagines itself inured to shock over political resignations, Sarah Palin's eve of Independence Day effort came as quite a thunderbolt. In Wasilla on Friday, in what I suspect was homage to Hazel "I love my community so much I'm quitting as Communities Secretary" Blears, the former Vice Presidential nominee called a news conference to reveal, in a stream of semi-consciousness to put Bletchley Park on overtime for months, that she is yielding her post as Alaska's Governor because that's how she can best serve the Alaska she loves above all.

It's a sensational development by any standards, other than her own selection as John McCain's running mate, and still no one has much clue what it means. Some wonder about a federal investigation into corruption over building contracts she has awarded, although the FBI denies this. Others accept her friends' claim that she has simply had enough of being chief clown in the media circus, and wants a quiet life. Yet a subsequent reference to a "higher calling" hints that a shred of ambition survives after all, and that she intends to challenge Barack Obama for the White House in 2012.

That idea may provoke more hilarity here than in the US, because we know Governor Palin best through Tina Fey's uncanny Saturday Night Live impression. With Obama meeting President Medvedev this week to agree on slashing nuclear arsenals, the mind goes back to Ms Fey's take on how Palin explained her foreign policy qualifications. During one skit, after Amy Poehler's Hillary had delivered a carefully nuanced address on why she regarded diplomacy as the cornerstone of all foreign policy, Fey's Palin counter-struck with: "And I can see Russia from my house."

Combined with the "Palin rap", during which the Governor sat in the studio grinning while Poehler shot dead a moose and chanted "All the mavericks in the house put your hands up" (up went Palin's arms), that appeared to be that for her Oval Office hopes. Surely no one, however brassy and sassy and a little high school bitchy, could land safely after such a vertical ascent from obscure governor of a irrelevant state to a top-ranked YouTube laughing stock.

Yet something odd has happened to the received wisdom that the one thing no major political figure can survive is ridicule. Silvio Berlusconi could hardly take his prolonged audition for a berth at Chipperfield's to more outlandish lengths if he wore size 46 platform shoes. He survives, and so does Mrs Palin as joint frontrunner (with Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee) in the early stages of the marathon to be Republican nominee next time round, despite her extended kith and kin.

So off-puttingly weird are her relatives, blood and otherwise, that she might have won more public sympathy had she begun the resignation statement by stating that she was giving up politics to spend less time with her family.

A sister-in-law is nicked for burglary, teenage daughter Bristol split from boyfriend Levi Johnston soon after the birth of their son Track (the post-partum Bristol then coming out strongly for teenage abstinence). Like Debbie Rowe – rumours persist that Mrs Palin isn't the biological mother of her own youngest son Trig – Todd is suspected of serially abusing his position as Alaska's First Dude ... it's as if some network drama executive, deranged after a rival laced his Perrier with LSD, decided to merge Shameless, The Munsters and Mr Smith Goes To Washington, and put the hybrid out in a reality format.

The temptation, now more than ever, is to dismiss Mrs Palin as a curio or grotesque with no future, and restrict all speculation to the past in general, and specifically to a fascinating "What if?" from last year that removes her from the equation altogether.

What if John McCain hadn't appointed her his running mate on the briefest introduction, and played safe with Mitt Romney instead? With a respected businessman rather than a half-baked Alaskan on the ticket, the old man might have benefited from the economic crisis that combined with Palin's unfortunate media forays to explode his credibility. Until his flakily melodramatic response to the banking calamity coincided with the realisation that Mrs P knew as much about economics as geopolitics, he was tied with Obama in national polls, if not marginally ahead. After those twin disasters, he was never within touching distance again.

An exceedingly long and detailed profile in Vanity Fair dwells on Palin's indolence, lack of curiosity and other inadequacies as a candidate, but most lovingly on the diva tantrums and monomaniacal arrogance that led several who encountered her then to raid the psychiatric manuals for case studies of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Yet mental illness or infirmity is hardly a barrier to political power. In fact, as Maureen Dowd points out in The New York Times, by exhibiting the signs so early Mrs Palin has a handy jump start on the likes of Johnson and Nixon, who sneakily waited until they were President to exhibit the evidence.

There are those in the States, led by the incomparably daft neo-Con commentator Bill Kristol, who see her resignation as proof that she is crazy like a fox. Others such as Dowd think she's crazy like "a nutter". Reading Friday's statement, the edge would appear to be with Dowd.

Although arguably the most moving abdication speech since Edward VIII relinquished his crown for the woman he loved, the random use of capital letters and exclamation marks ("We are doing well! I wish you'd hear MORE from the media about Your state's progress...") hint darkly at the further end of the green ink spectrum.

Yet for all that and despite everything (the myriad ethics investigations, the $150,000 credit crunch spending spree on her election wardrobe, the family, the ignorance), this force of nature remains the pin-up girl of the Republican Right. If the GOP machine stays on Rush Limbaugh Drive, aping the post-1997 Conservatives by deciding its fatal flaw is not being nasty and insular enough, the woman who accused Obama of "consorting with terrorists" and grinned contentedly when rednecks screeched "Kill him" would seem the natural choice for 2012.

Alright, it seems ridiculous to imagine primary voters giving the nomination to one who, when asked about that higher calling, replied: "I think any average, hard-working America whose heart is in the right place, who has the work ethics that is required, and can articulate what it is that America needs right now is going to make a darn good president."

A folksily illiterate, bone idle chancer who takes direct instruction from the Lord (she wrote one Twitter entry about her resignation in the guise of the deity, signing it "Creator"; like David Icke before her, Ms Palin's previous career was in sports-casting) and governed an oil rich state... America couldn't go another one of those could it? Not so soon?

Who knows. In this desert of confusion and speculation, the one oasis of certainty is that when Sarah Palin lets her mind's eye roam, she sees herself atop that "city upon a hill", that shining citadel of hope to the world, with Todd, Track, Trig, Trick, Truck, Twat and the rest beside her. God have mercy on our souls if that doesn't prove a mirage, but it would be dishonest to deny a frisson of excitement at the prospect of finding out.

More from Matthew Norman

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Comments

Oh yeah!
[info]over325one wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 06:03 am (UTC)
She could always work for Brown as they appear to have lots in common. By the way, are any MPs in prison or been arrested for their crooked dealings?
Re: Oh yeah!
[info]kuma2000 wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 01:50 pm (UTC)
Jeffrey Archer was but I'm not too sure if he is an MP anymore or in jail or even dead. The jail didn't have a lock on the door so he could go out to parties or to pick up cases of Champagne when he wanted to and they didn't stop him being a lord or a sir or some such toff title. His crime was that he fucked a prostitute and then sued a newspaper who said he did.
Other than that it seems MPs have weaseled out of the grip of the long arm of the law. Fraud and embezzlement, breaking international law is fine, fucking prostitutes and suing newspapers is not.
The Lord Spoke
[info]vviittaa wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 11:34 am (UTC)

Which God is she serving ?
[info]steviebabe wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 11:56 am (UTC)
america has form for electing wackos look at Bush
[info]bogwart16 wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 12:08 pm (UTC)
Bush wasn't elected. In 2000 he was appointed by the Supreme Court and in 2004 vote-rigging via Diebold machines gave him the vote.

By 2012 this revolting caricature of a politician will be behind bars somewhere in Alaska.
Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]famulla wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 12:49 pm (UTC)
Ed. This article is against the laws of the country, states, my God Father, the world Trade and UBA.
RSPCA is Royal Society of Prevention to Cruelty to Animals. HM is Her Majestic, HR is His Honour. The mental hospital has dentists and doctors but more of the white coats that are tied front to back. There are many bars in the window and prisoner is kept away from the prisoners. The trains have the Dieses fuel but not the Jet fuel. Why do I have the audacity to tell an educated man like you the above? The White house had Abraham Lincoln as the thorough President I stop here. Then what?
Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
Matthew , under the Norman circumstances I would tell you pleat but I do not want to pick up an arguments at this time as you are right the first time The mad house will have the mad .
What is wrong with our one-track thinking?
All are fine
Still confused but some one has to read and read and refer to the 1920 history.
I thank you
Firozali A. Mulla
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]telfreeman wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 03:50 pm (UTC)
I've been reading your "posts" for some time. Not once have I had even the faintest inkling of what you're on about. I have 2 questions for you...

1. Can I have some?

2. What do they cost?
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]natalief wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 10:02 pm (UTC)
3. What language is that?
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]famulla wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 03:05 am (UTC)
Q: What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A: A Frosted Flake.

I thank you
Firozali A. Mulla
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]famulla wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 03:20 am (UTC)
Today the cartoon is the answer See all the naked ladies you see any You Recognise No And they are vigins And The Lord of the Planet Serves Them Wine while the buildings tremble behind his ass I am totaly for this sort of toooonnns How are you in the front I am your truly Firozali a mulla
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]telfreeman wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 08:27 am (UTC)

Ref my original post....that's a big help, thanks mate!
Re: Matthew Norman: She might be crazy, but could she end up in the White House?
[info]famulla wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 11:18 am (UTC)
May Allah Bless you and your sons if they are in UK or our in Indai Who cares where they are these days Buddy No matter what you say of Palin. She is a sexy b......nose exact size of the spects and two hair falling on the eayes so she can hear better Obama does not have these two hair has he?
I am Firozali A Mulla This is between us only buddy okay Ed knows nothing of these or he will cut out hair .....
If every redneck pig-roast Dukes Of Hazzard fan in the USA
[info]reiksares wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 12:51 pm (UTC)
votes for Palin, she'll romp home. Americans are alreadu outraged and disappointed with Obama.

There is every possibility this psychotic lunatic will become President Palin. Shares in nuclear shelters are set to rise.
Re: If every redneck pig-roast Dukes Of Hazzard fan in the USA
[info]virginia_1976 wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 01:11 pm (UTC)
You might like to think so. Unless Obama f*cks up mightily, he's a shoe-in for the next election. As someone else said, by 2012, Palin will be behind bars. Her resignation speech had more than just a whiff of having to get out of town fast about it.
According to network news - GOP still loves Palin
[info]panchoangry wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 02:58 pm (UTC)
I believe it was ABC I was listening to yesterday but they claimed 75% of the Republicans would vote for Palin for President according to a recent poll. Isn't that just peachy?
The Bottom of the Barrel
[info]cardrew wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 04:02 pm (UTC)
I was hoping she would run for President in 2012 as she would divert all the right wing redneck votes from her republican opponents, and then have no hope of winning.

She is nothing more than a tacky gimmick to try and upstage the Democrats, as they had an outstanding woman in contention. She was a Karl Rove fantasy that backfired, her only qualification was being a rabble rouser.

U.S.A. soon realised that this was another typical disfunctional American family, and saw through the religious poppycock once we found her teenage daughter was pregnant (a point obviously concealed from Rove and McCain).

It was also apparent that she was a fake, when she disappeared as she couldn't handle publicity.
She was trotted out a few weeks later to utter some soundbites to her few interviews.

The Republicans had initially hoped to counter Obama by presenting younger Presidential hopefuls like Palin and Jindal, but both have been utter failures, and they look like reverting to the old guard (Huckabee, Romney and Jeb Bush).
palin resignation
[info]westernwoman wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 04:47 pm (UTC)
End of the Empire? Bread and Circuses at the very least.
The short answer?
[info]xysea1971 wrote:
Thursday, 9 July 2009 at 08:40 pm (UTC)
Hell no.

This woman should not be in a leadership position of any kind, and I say this as a woman. I'm not sexist, I just know clear incompetence when I see it.

The shame of it is, she doesn't even have the self-awareness to know that she's not qualified.
Which God is she serving ?End of the Empire? Bread and Circuses at the very least. no fishes
[info]famulla wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 03:12 am (UTC)
do not involve god Allah with ladies wearing spects others are bad also Loerd has angels with gold goblets and are virgin
this on
no
I thank you
Firozali A. Mulla

And wwhy not
[info]ourtone69 wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 04:12 am (UTC)
Hey, look at some of the ones they have had. She doesn't seem sucha stretch.
And wwhy not....Hey, look at some of the ones they have had. She doesn't seem sucha stretch.
[info]famulla wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 11:35 am (UTC)
And wwhy not Buddy looks like you are hooked to the ladies with big boobs they have stretches to Oval Office and Italy Buddy the key to all is this read and tell me if you agree
My son was having an argument with the friends. Who is more wanted man or women or who enjoys more sex man or woman?
Woman or man and it carry. My son like me is very bad. He bought a lollipop and removed the wrapper. Put this in the mouth and asked the friends. Tel me who is having fun lips or the lollipop. Of course, all said lips the one who sucks gets the pleasure. Hope you are above six and understand this. But if not ask the Ed.
I thank you
Firozali A. Mulla
Let's see.....
[info]sickofstupidity wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 05:42 pm (UTC)
Palin's credentials for the presidency:

1. Religious nut who believes in the Second Coming and the Day of Judgement.

2. No knowledge of foreign geography or understanding of foreign affairs.

3. Dysfunctional family.

4. IQ of a slime mould.

Yeah, of course she can become president - George W did, so it can't be that hard...
Bully journalist
[info]ushivon wrote:
Friday, 10 July 2009 at 09:39 pm (UTC)
Matthew Norman you are a skunk of a journalist and a bully. Why are you repeating SATIRE with regard to Palin other than to ridicule her?
Ad hominen journalism when used repeatedly in an article to provoke continual attack is demeaning to the profession of journalim. If used, it should be done as a shortcut to the crux of a matter.
Let us go to that infamous TV interview with teh real Palin.
I suppose that if a reporter asks you to name a paper oh can you name one? You would have to prove that you can. Do you and your cronies have the mental capacity to realise that of course Palin can name papers but she does not want to single one out. The McCain aides called, Nameless, Donald Duck, Anonymous and Mickey Mouse may have felt it was the wrong one and rapped her knuckles. She has to name a paper that McCain would endorse. Millions of readers may well then buy THAT one paper. As a Governor, she probably gets ALL of them and may even read clips her staff cut out as relevant and of interest. In which case, she probably does not always know which paper which clip is froma as she is iterested in teh articles and new rather than doing a study n the papers themselves.
Solicitors and public libraries get most of them so why should the Alaskan office not do so too? . Incidentally the Mail is now on the list and the Guardian in consideration of being taken off. Matthew Norman YOU would not be on my shortlist of contributors for such a paperbut if my remedy works for you, perhaps in time?
When one does read ALL of them it seems unfair to expect anyone to want to name one in particular as one may prefer one one week and the next day be amazed at how interesting the others are. But she did not realise that she would be accused of not being able to name ONE of tham. How ludicrous that ANYONE at all could believe that but we live in Mickey Mouse land and nobody could even see the big crash? Except the simple person with common sense. All those who sold before and at the final peak did not see it either?
You jump onto the predictable bandwagon of mass bullying of someone just to write a pathetic article of regurgitated malevolence against someone who has a lot for anyone to admire in her. Are journalists of today so blind or are you lacking in decency and full of discordiance, ready to trash anything and anyone who may be wotrthwhile?
I challenge you to spend the weekend researching Palin, do an article with true facts about her, and with negative comments about her opposition and then read it. You may recover from being a bully and a bigot as you are amazed at how much Palin has to offer.
If my remedy for you not work, you could stock shelves because this world would be a better place without journalists like you.
I want to start BUYING a serious paper instead of roaming the internet so my children can read good journalism. There is not one available that I could endore for them. Can someone start a newspaper perhaps, just a weekly one that is decent, interesting, rocks the boat, questions and is fit to read. My family can handle a serious paper and it would be so nice to find a few words that one needs to look up occasionally.
Re: Bully journalist
[info]reiksares wrote:
Saturday, 11 July 2009 at 02:33 am (UTC)
I think you'd find the Journal of the National Rifle Association just the kind of reading you'd love. And David Duke has written some stuff you may enjoy.
Governor Sarah Palin
[info]sittingburns wrote:
Sunday, 26 July 2009 at 10:14 pm (UTC)
Why is Matthew Norman so bitter and ignorant about Governor Palin? If all you know about her is from a satirical and bigoted late night US TV programme and the biased, left-wing US media you are not capable of judging her.

It is quite obvious from President Obama's performance that Governor Palin knows infinitely more about economics than Obama and Brown put together, not that that is difficult.

Basically all she is asking for is for a balanced budget, decency, transparency and an end to the vested interests and political Mafia in Washington. I can't help thinking that all decent and sensible people will back her against contrived intellectuals who have no respect for the common man.

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