Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: Why is my gender suddenly in retreat?
The truth is that all nations would prefer it if women went back indoors again
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Independent Minds
Boorish, brutish sexism has broken out again. Yet again. And, as usual, here come lady cheerleaders, handmaidens to men who have never accepted that half of God's people are fully human and entitled to all that the world has to offer. How these tongues burned and lashed out when Cathy Ashton got the top foreign policy job in the EU. She got it 'cos she is a flippin' woman. Obvious, innit?
And before that her skirts and lipstick meant they had no other choice when casting around for a replacement for Lord Mandelson's EU job and her peerage too must have been an appeasement gesture for those pesky feminists (did he get all his big breaks because he is gay? Such questions would be unseemly and are rightly never asked). A Sunday newspaper cartoonist calls Ashton "whatsherface?" Such wit.
Baroness Ashton and I are slightly acquainted, no more, if you need to know that. She has always seemed to me pragmatic and effective, with abiding principles, able to cut through dross and unaffected by grandeur and privilege. None of that matters. She is a woman and should stay in some obscure corner.
The world only feels right when women are removed from the public space. We know that is what the Taliban believes. The discouraging truth is that all nations would dearly like it if women went back indoors again to seek and find total fulfilment in babies and baking and these days 24-hour sexual availability. I love babies, baking, beautiful clothes, fun and men. But I am and always will be a feminist, with eyes wide open until we get to the point when equality no longer needs to be fought for. Not in my lifetime for sure. Women's rights have come a long way since the 1950s, but the mountain is high and we frequently slip or are pushed down. Was I the only person in the world to notice that when the US met China in Beijing, along the long table with Hu Jintao and Barack Obama were all men in dull suits?
Hillary Clinton was somewhere else in China, so couldn't provide relief from the monotony and static manliness of the delegates. On the BBC's always lively programme Dateline London I asked this question. After some seconds of silence Dianne Wei Liang, a Chinese thriller writer, remembered the translator was female. Everyday I watch British TV (including the BBC which gets substantial licence fee money from those of us with the XX chromosome) and all intrepid travel programme presenters are white and male, most TV chefs and judges too, history, design and games show hosts and so on and on. Yes there are a few women, not enough and always pert and pretty, feeling they have to be flirty, pleasing to men.
Jeremy Clarkson and Russell Brand and even coarser creatures cleverly debase women, including our women politicians. They are the "it" boys. They turn their chauvinism into gold. Simon Cowell ended the hopes of the beautiful singer Lucie Jones and was gratuitously rude to her, then praised her for meekly accepting this treatment. Only one woman is now left in his show while hairspray keeps the boys in.
The world's economy was brought down by careless, greedy men. Women, said authors of a report on the crisis by the Cranfield School of Management, were not more risk averse but more risk aware. Just what we need. Do we see any sign that that quality is being valued in the financial sector? Do let me know if there is. All I see is still wretchedly low representation of women in our top echelons and progress, compared with say the Scandinavian nations, snail slow. And even the sluggish snails now get stamped on.
In the last weeks it has been more evident that we women are not faring well. The Pope invites anti-women Anglicans to join his properly male church, and they threaten to, encouraged by the now blonde Ann Widdecombe; the adorable Sir Alan Sugar arrives in the Lords, he with his admired retro views on foolish young women who want to work and have a family; a high-achieving scientist reveals she was the upmarket prostitute and blogger Belle De Jour (what does that mean? That you let rich strangers deep into your body and not factory workers? So you make more dough opening your legs? And that makes you more classy?).
The professor of law Ruth Deech condemns attempts by the equalities champion Lord Lester to give mothers in cohabiting relationships the same rights as those whose marriages break up, and adds that the law would be a windfall for lawyers and no one else "except the gold-digger". The newly minted high priestess of family values, Catholic Cristina Odone, once a powerful media player, now says she chokes on her cereal when she hears women moaning about glass ceilings.
And what about young females? More bad news. Jill Berry of the Girls' Schools Association believes girls must not grow up expecting "to have it all". But boys must be allowed to expect that, Mrs Berry? I hope parents interrogate this custodian of future generation women whose dreams she is trying to cut down.
Research by the NSPCC reveals that a third of teenage girls in a relationship have experienced forced sex and or physical abuse by boyfriends. One teenage girl I heard from witnessed two such scenes at parties and couldn't understand why nobody else there thought it was wrong. Now they are talking here and in the US of the paradox of "declining female happiness". The more powerful we get, the less happy we are. What's more, men are getting happier and women are getting gloomier.
The brilliant US columnist Maureen Dowd deconstructs the findings and suggests that the feminist revolution may have benefited men more than women who have only taken on added burdens – the impossible balance between work and life, time poverty, pressures to be always young and beautiful. Then there is derision and subversion from reactionary men and women which makes the glittering prizes feel both heavy and pointless. Exhausting and debilitating it may be, but the fight must go on. Feminism will get us there one day because we are worth it. And I am not swishing my extensions or pouting my lips as I write that.
y.alibhai-brown@independent.co.uk
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Comments
Get f@#$%^g real! If you want a career find a partner who will look after the kids and house while you’re out. If you want domestic bliss find a provider who'll keep the roof over your head. Stop wanting it all men never had it why should you expect it.
Just because the market is saturated with such rubbish, doesn't mean that that's what women want! There's a huge gap in the market for intelligent and inspirational material for women. A choice would be nice. Instead I'm faced with the same tired crap and the perpetuation of mysogynistic images, ideals and gender roles that I'm expected to aspire to. Why?
Ruth Deech says co-habiting couples should not be treated the same as married couples in the eyes of the law - which many people would say is common sense. If they were then this would definitely lead to "gold-diggers" and a windfall for lawyers. Imagine if you lived with a man for a week, then he left you and claimed half your house as if he had the same entitlement as a spouse. That was Ruth Deech's point and Yasmin is being a bit naughty.
Ruth Deech also says that there are existing laws to protect mothers whose partners leave them and their children - which is also true (The 1989 Children Act).
I'm against sexism - but it seems to me that Yasmin is just having a rant. Men behave badly. So what? No law is going to stop that.
Lets face it most of the females of the next generation are moronic and airhead enough to just think of themselves in this way, because all they seem to think about is being over made up clothes horses, it is proven everyday, so how can you blame the males for thinking women are no use except barefoot and pregnant. I am confident enough in myself not to wear make up at all and I wear what I like I never ever followed the fashions of the time, I positively do not get taken in by all the tosh the adverts on TV blare out everyday.
You don't have to be a feminist to be able to stand your corner in a so called mans world.
Male chauvinist pigs have never really died out, it is just that we women have ways and means for making them think they have the upper hand, of course they don't.
Feminism is just the concept that women, if they choose, should have same the opportunities as men. This does not mean they have to end up 50-50 in any given career field. It means that IF THEY CHOOSE, they should have access to the same services, healthcare, the vote, the legal system, and careers as men.
Is this really that outrageous a concept?
Are you suggesting women who enter politics should be treated with a special softly softly approach? Should the Media that ridiculed (quite rightly) George Bushes ignorance of the world outside of USA, ignore Sara Palins equal ignorance because she is a woman?
Might I offer a slightly impartial opinion here?
As a man nearing 50, with three wonderful daughters in their 20`s (all successful) and my wife of 28 years thoroughly enjoying a career of her choosing as she approaches 50, I find myself... this privileged "male", thrown on the scrapheap, struggling to get interviews let alone a decent wage to help pay my bills.
This same male sees the employment market flooded with part time jobs occupied by women who 50 years ago had no interest in work, and obviously as such, there are limited vacancies for jobs, so as more women apply, less men are employed.
I see the shelves in shops that were once graced by Womens weekly, Womens own, and Women`s friend, groaning under the strain of garishly coloured magazines in their thousands promising the perfect make-over and the perfect multiple orgasm for TEENS!!!, I see heat, and Closer and OK and "not-so-Ok" .. I see the high street populated by 20% banks and money advisors, and 79% cosmetics, clothes, nail parlours, beauty salons.
I see almost every TV advert aimed directly at the female purse (half of which use the male of the species as points of ridicule)
I see a benefit system and a judicial system that is now so "PC" that you can commit anything from Murder to adultery and be acquitted on the basis of your hormone levels at the time of the crime.
I see a health system that demands hundreds of millions to cure breast cancer (as it should) but ZERO campaigns for testicular or prostate cancer.
I see well-woman clinics in ever health centre , but see men dying younger and younger through lack of advice or information or help.
I see TV presenters who mangle their pronunciations and expose their ineptitude by the day , yet become "zelebs" overnight because of who they sleep with and insist on telling us its their divine right to do so as a woman.
get real woman!
This is YOUR world now.
You wanted equality, and you got it.
Unfortunately, you have done with it, exactly what man did.
Exploited it, abused it, taken it for granted, and demand more.
My daughters, my sisters, my wife, and many of my friends, are shining living examples of what a bitter and twisted greedy fraud you 21st century feminists are.
More women in employment does not mean less men are able to be employed. You may have noticed that the job market has changed slightly in the last 50 years. There are far more total jobs, and the makeup of the traditional sectors has completely changed.
I agree with you on two points: the pendulum has swung too far towards women's health issues and more attention is needed to be directed at male health (although research shows men are their own worst enemy when it comes to their health). And the crassness of celebrity culture is a disappointing development, and is at least in part due to women's increased media and earning power.
However, do not conflate these problems with the achievements of feminism. What do you think a 21st century feminist is? Are they all presiding over some conspiracy to destroy the modern man? Or are they actually just living their lives, battling to juggle a career with a home life that's just as demanding as ever?
Feminism only means access to the same opportunities as men - if you look up the definition of feminism, you will find your wife and daughters would fit the description very well.
I sometimes feel that I am the lone voice in the desert, speaking up for feminism to those around me - it's seen as impolite and of course it is very unfeminine to be impolite.
I believe there is a strong misogynist element to the Anglo Saxon culture, particularly prevalent during the Clinton-Obama primaries. That whole episode showed that gender bias is stronger than racism.
And as for positive discriminatiion, do all these middle class, white men really think they got to where they are on merit? Get a grip on reality - you make up less than one quarter of the population.
My husband and I will make sure that our thirteen year old daughter will grow up thinking she can have it all. Jill Berry is entitled to her views, although I question whether being a head of girls' school is where she is best suited. It is the glee with which the press jumped on her remarks which is so infuriating.
I have worked my way up on my merits, but there are still women amongst us who jiggle their mammaries to get ahead, so its not a 100% male originated problem. How can men respect women like this? Easy they don't , they're just a bit of fluff to decorate the office, and we all get tarred.
I sacrificed my career to be at home for my children, the old man left and took his money with him. I am left with a mediocre job on mediocre money but hey I've got two well balanced happy kids to my credit. It isn't logistically possible to be a hands on mum and have a career. I just don't see why we judge each other for whichever choice we make
Regards the derogatory comment about Posh Spice...Mrs Beckham married her husband and then had his children. That to me is a role model, not those that squeeze out 5 kids by 5 different blokes, which appears to be totally acceptable these days. Some women have no standards. How do their kids view them when they are aware?
So to the men reading this, I am offended on your behalf when ads boast 'even a man could do it'
However the problem with Baroness Ashton is that even if she is the most able woman on earth - nobody voted for her.
But these are not sit down jobs are they! Feminists only ever whinge about being under-represented in top jobs, but are unwilling to take up any bottom jobs, mmm, I wonder why?
My job over the past 30 years, involves me working around peoples houses, I have NEVER in all that time, seen a man that stays at home doing virtually nothing and is totally supported by a woman.
Want to be equal, then act equal.
All I see disagreeing with it are the usual self-absorbed whiny sods who can't bear the thought of ever having to pull their own weight in the world ("whine, whine, I've been at work all day"), the kind of mysoginistic women who drag everyone down ("ooh, it's all too confusing for women when they have freedom, we need our chains") and SWM with a persecution complex who claims to have never met a househusband despite having a job that involves visiting people in their homes, which is odd given that I know more than one just socially.
As someone else has already said, these people are the proof if ever it were needed. In the same way Nick Griffin claims the White British Male to be 'minority' these entitled shits claim the mantle of victimhood as if they had any right to it, as all oppressors do.
But as a man who does not rest comfortably expecting to be waited on hand and foot, as someone whose sense of worth is intrinsically bound to his treatment of others and an inabilty to be with anyone I couldn't respect as an equal I've come to the understanding that with the lads magazines (look at the actual sales figures and tell me they represent a majority), the newfound 'repectability' of porn and the ongoing media collusion to sell women more 'beauty' products they don't need along with the Ol' Boys Club's desire to continue to never have to pull their weight, the main thrust of the modern media outlets' message is to convince women that the fight is over. Whether they believe feminism has won or can never win makes not difference to these old comfortable chauvanists, so long as women stop fighting.
Of course, they're backed up from the top to the bottom by a line-up of mysoginistic men who want an easy life with virgin-whores who cook for them, clean for them, are 24/7 sex dolls and wipe their arses for them.
Of course, I expect the usual load of abuse from 'hard men' safe in the anonymity of the internet but really, it's a weak man who whines and whinges about having to actually treat others as equals.
Don't worry Yasmin, I've noticed women are catching men up in many areas ... only the other day I read that 'Miss England' had to step down from her high (heels) office having punched 'Miss England' repeatedly in the face in some bar. I also spoke to a taxi driver recently who said he refused to pick up more than 2 women as they are more likely to fight, vomit or run off without paying. Women doing it for themselves - no need for men!
Oops, I meant ... "having punched 'Miss MANCHESTER"
Society needs to encourage women to express themselves in more meaningful ways, and men to put their energies into improving communities instead of trying to be number one all the time.
I am glad to hear you and your friends are fair-minded and treat women as individuals. Happily, this is my experience of the vast majority of my male peers, too.
Unfortunately, research (and many a lawsuit) has proven that conditions for women in certain fields continue to be unfairly weighted against women. Outcomes are what matter, not anecdotal stories about people's own experience. And while women in the military, the police, the legal profession and finance are still struggling for promotions and fighting misogynist seniors, there are still aspects we need to change.
As to declaring that all feminists are sexist - do us a favour, and treat feminists just like you treat women in general - according to their individual merit. Not all feminists are Andrea Dworkin (look it up).
A final point - many feminists in this country are fighting for the shockingly curtailed rights of women in the developing world.
Whilst she might in fact be a perfectly nice and very competent person and do the job very well, I along with many others like to cling to the perhaps outdated trappings of democracy and vote for somebody who is going to represent me rather than have them thrust upon me. To then be accused of sexism when such a thought had not crossed my mind adds insult to injury.
I don't care whether she is a woman, a man or a cross dresser but I would have liked the opportunity to have found out something about my two, new representatives in Europe, before having them chosen for me in secret.
Perhaps you should read a little about the subject in hand before writing about it.