Ian Holloway: They said Charlie was on his way to Anfield... but he was sat next to me in my office

Despite how wrapped up us managers get in everything that happens on transfer deadline day, I had to laugh at what was on the telly. Sky Sports News treat it like it is the most important day in the history of the world. Ever.

They count it down: "20 hours, 34 minutes and 12 seconds to go," they scream. They have reporters parked outside training grounds and some bloke with a microphone is shouting "Suarez is driving to Liverpool" or "Carroll is in a helicopter". I half-expected them to tell us when Torres went to the toilet.

At one point they said my skipper Charlie Adam was on his way to Anfield to sign, and he was sat right next to me in my office at Bloomfield Road. What is going on?

Premier League clubs like ourselves rely on Sky's money but this is nonsense. It is like Big Brother – there are cameras everywhere.

One of the biggest stories of the day involved Charlie. Now I love the lad, but I'll be honest with you, I am sick of talking about him. I've been going on about him so much recently I find myself mentioning his name without knowing it.

The other morning I said to my wife Kim: "Can I have some Charlie Corn Flakes? Don't put too much Charlie milk on it." The lad is taking over my life, I tell you!

The race to try and sign him went on all month. He didn't go anywhere in the end, we kept hold of him. But for the record, the relationship between us is still fantastic.

Yes, Charlie wanted to leave, and who can blame him? He has been told what the top clubs will pay him and he wants a piece of that now. The difference, to be fair, is astronomical. It is life-changing. But from my point of view I wanted to keep my best player.

Charlie's representatives have said a few things in the press, which I haven't been impressed with. But we have done nothing wrong – it is his agent who has made a mistake.

When I signed Sylvan Ebanks-Blake at Plymouth his agent insisted on a get-out clause so if anybody offered a certain amount of money, we could not stand in his way. So why didn't Charlie's agent do that?

His agent can moan and whinge but it is his fault. If I was his agent, I'd be saying to Charlie: "Keep your head down, keep playing brilliantly, and then we'll have a look in the summer."

At that point he will have 12 months left on his contract and the world will be his oyster. He understands that, we're fine with each other, and he will keep producing the goods for us, like he has for the last 18 months.

It was a long and hard day because at the same time as Liverpool and Tottenham were trying to get their hands on Charlie, I was attempting to do a bit of business myself. I had given the chairman a list of players at the start of the month. There were at least 30 names on it and I asked him to make enquiries about all of them. A couple turned us down – Adam Hammill went to Wolves and Charlie Austin to Burnley – and that is difficult, when you can't get the targets you want because of finances. But I know that, I'm happy about it and I get on with it.

We missed out on a few but got some last-minute bargains. To get the likes of James Beattie and Andy Reid in will do me nicely. Granted they aren't as fit and as ready as they need to be to play at this level, but we'll deal with that. They are great lads with bags of experience, they suit us and they will add to our run-in.

And best news of all is that the damn window is now shut and we can concentrate on playing footie.

Toffees' win leaves bitter taste

There's no point lying, I was deflated to lose at Everton yesterday. Given we conceded five, maybe I should have signed four defenders in the transfer window, not four strikers!

It must have been a cracking game for the neutral but that isn't much consolation, especially as we were 3-2 up. What made it even more frustrating was that I brought on a couple of defensive-minded players to shore us up. It was the same tactic I used against Liverpool a few weeks ago, playing Alex Baptiste just in front of the back four. It worked a treat against Liverpool; yesterday we conceded three goals. Therefore my backside was bare because we were chasing the game and I'd taken a couple of forwards off.

It is hard to take because we have thrown away similar positions against Man United and West Brom recently and it is a habit we don't want to get into. But am I absolutely devastated? Not at all. I am still loving how we are playing and the bottom line is that the Premier League is a quality division and is full of clubs which can hurt you.

Everton are among those and the finishing of Louis Saha was the difference on the day. He was excellent. We have to get back on the training ground and make sure we put right what went wrong. Now more than ever we need to stick together and make sure we get out of this bad run.

Gym regime is worth the weight

I have some big news. I stood on the scales the other day and weighed less than 12 stone. This is cause for major celebration because I've not weighed less than 12 stone for at least a decade.

It is all down to my new fitness regime. Myself and the wife have joined a gym near our house and we are going as often as possible. I have a little key that I put in this machine and it tells me what exercise I need to do. I feel a bit of a lemon but it's working. I've mostly been on the cross-trainer, which takes some getting used to. I'm getting quite good but the only problem is that I sweat like anything. It's so bad I have to carry a little cloth about with me and wipe down the machines after I've been on them.

I do some aerobic exercises as well, then finish off by doing a few weights and sit-ups. They have football on the telly so I'm in my element. Lovely jubbly. I'm eating more sensibly as well. My wife has an app on her phone and we've been using that to stick to under 1,500 calories a day.

In the space of a few weeks I've gone from 12st 6lb to 11st 13lb and I was feeling great... until, that is, the other day in training when someone fired a cross into the box and I jumped up to nod it back to my centre-halves.

I felt something go in my calf and collapsed to the ground yelping. All the lads were laughing. It's giving me a bit of gyp but I'll battle through it. I've had much worse and besides, they breed us tough in Bristol.

Staying up will be elementary if we win our Holmes games

All week I've been walking round my house sucking on a pipe, saying: "Elementary, my dear Watson." Don't fret, I'm not cracking under the strain of the Premier League. The Christmas present my brother and sister-in-law ordered off eBay for me has finally arrived – a DVD box set of Sherlock Holmes, and a pipe, a clay one exactly the same as Holmes had. The only thing I'm missing is the hat, but maybe they'll get me that next year.

I'm in heaven because I adore Holmes, so I'm sucking on the pipe, watching TV and feeling brilliant. I've always loved detective shows. I used to be hooked on Columbo because he'd always suss it out.

Sherlock Holmes is the best of the lot. I got into him when I was growing up. I loved his old-fashioned nature, the way he spoke and the fact he was cleverer than any other bugger.

It was like me and my brother John, because he was really clever and I felt like a bit of a doughnut. John was well read and he used to read to me.

I'm loving watching Holmes and I like the challenge of trying to work it out before he does. It is helping me relax, too, and boy do I need to relax.

Another fine mess

I mentioned in last week's column that I got a call telling me we'd been fined by the Premier League while I was playing golf. I think now is the time to make an official apology to Shoreditch Golf Club in Chorley because I did something a bit naughty.

We were on the tee and my wife hit a great drive. Mine went straight in the ditch. My next shot hit a tree and dropped on the edge of a lake. I had to put one foot in the water to hit the ball and it got soaking wet. I swung my club but the ball didn't move and instead I hit a divot about 50 yards.

It was at that very moment that my phone rang and I got told about the fine which, I knew, meant I had to offer my resignation. I used some language my wife wasn't impressed with, hung up, swung again, and hit an even bigger divot. So I'm fuming because I had hit four shots and still had not got past my wife's drive!

I Iost the plot, rammed my nine-iron into the ground, picked my ball up and walked off. When I'd calmed down, I asked my wife to go and get my club and she told me to get stuffed. So I had to walk back and pull it out.

It was in the rough, I hasten to add. It wouldn't have been a fairway, I didn't hit one all bloody day. But I do apologise to the greenkeepers. I tried to repair the damage the best I could.

As you can probably tell, golf's not really my game – especially not when we've just been fined 25 grand and I'm being outplayed by the missus.

Arts & Entertainment
Shaun Evans as Endeavour interviews a prisoner as he tries to get to the bottom of a police cover up
tvReview: Second series comes to close with startling tale of police corruption and child abuse
Arts & Entertainment
A stranger calls: Martin Freeman in ‘Fargo’
Review: New 10-part series brims with characters and stories

Arts & Entertainment
Schwarzenegger winning Mr. Universe 1969
arts + entsCan you guess the celebrity from these British Pathe News clips?
Raheem Sterling and Luis Suarez celebrate during Liverpool's game with Norwich
football Another hurdle is out of the way for Brendan Rodgers' side
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition iPad app?
Arts & Entertainment
The star of the sitcom ‘Miranda’ is hugely popular with mainstream audiences
TVMiranda Hart lined up for ‘Generation Game’ revival
Portrait of Queen Elizabeth-II by David Bailey which has been released to mark her 88th birthday
peoplePortrait released to mark monarch's 88th birthday
Life & Style
The writer, Gerda Saunders, with her mother, who also suffered with dementia before her death
healthGerda Saunders on the most formidable effect of her dementia
Manchester United manager David Moyes looks on during his side's defeat to Everton
footballBaines and Mirallas score against United as Everton keep alive hopes of a top-four finish
Tour de France 2014Sir Rodney Walker on organising the UK stages of this year’s race
Arts & Entertainment
Jessica Brown Findlay as Mary Yellan in ‘Jamaica Inn’
TVJessica Brown Findlay on playing the spirited heroine of Jamaica Inn
YouTube clocks up more than a billion users a month
mediaEuropean rival Dailymotion certainly thinks so
Arts & Entertainment
The original design with Charles' face clearly visible, which is on display around the capital
arts + ents The ad shows Prince Charles attired for his coronation in a crown and fur mantle with his mouth covered by a criss-cross of white duct tape
Arts & Entertainment
‘Self-Portrait Worshipping Christ’ (c943-57) by St Dunstan
books How British artists perfected the art of the self-portrait
Luis Suarez celebrates after scoring in Liverpool's 3-2 win over Norwich
Football Vine shows Suarez writhing in pain before launching counter attack
People White House officials refuse to make comment on 275,000 signatures that want Justin Bieber's US visa revoked
Sir Cliff Richard is to release his hundredth album at age 72
Lukas Podolski celebrates one of his two goals in Arsenal's win over Hull
Arts & Entertainment
Quentin Tarantino, director
The speeding train nearly hit this US politican during a lecture on rail safety
news As the saying goes, you have to practice what you preach
Mercedes Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton of Britain (front) drives ahead of Red Bull Formula One driver Daniel Ricciardo of Australia during the Chinese F1 Grand Prix at the Shanghai International circuit
Arts & Entertainment
Billie Jean King, who won the women’s Wimbledon title in 1967, when the first colour pictures were broadcast
Snow has no plans to step back or reduce his workload
mediaIt's 25 years since Jon Snow first presented Channel 4 News, and his drive shows no sign of diminishing
Life & Style
food + drinkWhat’s not to like?
Caption competition
Caption competition
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition iPad app?
Daily Quiz
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

Day In a Page

How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe: Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC

How I brokered a peace deal with Robert Mugabe

Roy Agyemang reveals the delicate diplomacy needed to get Zimbabwe’s President to sit down with the BBC
Video of British Muslims dancing to Pharrell Williams's hit Happy attacked as 'sinful'

British Muslims's Happy video attacked as 'sinful'

The four-minute clip by Honesty Policy has had more than 300,000 hits on YouTube
Church of England-raised Michael Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith

Michael Williams: Do as I do, not as I pray

Church of England-raised Williams describes the unexpected joys in learning about his family's Jewish faith
A History of the First World War in 100 moments: A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife

A History of the First World War in 100 moments

A visit to the Front Line by the Prime Minister's wife
Comedian Jenny Collier: 'Sexism I experienced on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

Jenny Collier: 'Sexism on stand-up circuit should be extinct'

The comedian's appearance at a show on the eve of International Women's Day was cancelled because they had "too many women" on the bill
Cannes Film Festival: Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or

Cannes Film Festival

Ken Loach and Mike Leigh to fight it out for the Palme d'Or
The concept album makes surprise top ten return with neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson

The concept album makes surprise top ten return

Neolithic opus from Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson is unexpected success
Lichen is the surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus, thanks to our love of Scandinavian and Indian cuisines

Lichen is surprise new ingredient on fine-dining menus

Emily Jupp discovers how it can give a unique, smoky flavour to our cooking
10 best baking books

10 best baking books

Planning a spot of baking this bank holiday weekend? From old favourites to new releases, here’s ten cookbooks for you
Jury still out on Manchester City boss Manuel Pellegrini

Jury still out on Pellegrini

Draw with Sunderland raises questions over Manchester City manager's ability to motivate and unify his players
Ben Stokes: 'Punching lockers isn't way forward'

Ben Stokes: 'Punching lockers isn't way forward'

The all-rounder has been hailed as future star after Ashes debut but incident in Caribbean added to doubts about discipline. Jon Culley meets a man looking to control his emotions
Mark Johnston: First £1 million jackpot spurs him on

Mark Johnston: First £1 million jackpot spurs him on

The most prize money ever at an All-Weather race day is up for grabs at Lingfield on Friday, and the record-breaking trainer tells Jon Freeman how times have changed
Ricky Gervais: 'People are waiting for me to fail. If you think it's awful, then just don't watch it'

Ricky Gervais: 'People are waiting for me to fail'

As the second series of his divisive sitcom 'Derek' hits screens, the comedian tells James Rampton why he'll never bow to the critics who habitually circle his work
Mad Men series 7, TV review: The suits are still sharp, but Don Draper has lost his edge

Mad Men returns for a final fling

The suits are still sharp, but Don Draper has lost his edge
Google finds a lift into space will never get off the ground as there is no material strong enough for a cable from Earth into orbit

Google finds a lift into space will never get off the ground

Technology giant’s scientists say there is no material strong enough for a cable from Earth into orbit