Hold The Back Page: 04/12/2010

It's a big weekend for...

Snoods

First down the catwalk is Carlos, from Buenos Aires by way of Moss Side, sporting the latest must-have advancement in neck-warming technology. It may look like a beanie with the top cut off, but dahling, the snood is just so hot right now. Much like Tevez's neck must be in this MCFC-branded accessory. "I wonder what Norman Hunter and Chopper Harris would've made of the snood? Broken leg time!" tweeted Graeme Swann. But we can forgive Tevez, as he hails from much warmer climes, much like fellow snood-wearers (is this a brothersnood? sorry) Marouane Chamakh and Samir Nasri, but what is Craig Gordon's excuse? Was it not cold enough growing up in Edinburgh?

We applaud you wholeheartedly...

Roque Santa cruz

One man who hasn't had many opportunities to don a snood so far this season is the City bench-warmer Santa Cruz. Still, rather than sit moaning on the touchline, it's good to see that the Paraguayan has been filling his time productively – by starting a pop career. Yep, the forward has traded striking the ball for hitting the top notes – or maybe that should be the bum notes, if the behind-the-scenes video on YouTube is any yardstick of how the finished song will sound. Still, it is in aid of his foundation, which helps underprivileged children in Asuncion, so we shouldn't be too snarky. And anyway, compared with the recent fad of records made up of nothing but silence, it is a veritable masterpiece.

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A J Rosen

More bad news from Austerity Britain. Our top luger has been forced to pull out of all competition this season because he can't afford to compete on the World Cup circuit. Rosen, who is no mug on a tea tray, having finished 16th in the singles at the Vancouver Olympics, said, "My career is on hold for now", after funding from Britain's Talented Athlete Scholarship Scheme and the International Olympic Committee Solidarity Fund dried up. His parents had been helping out too but they can no longer do so, meaning his career is well and truly on ice, or not, as the case may be.