Form an orderly queue, ladies; Howard Stern, American radio's prime "shock jock" – think Russell Brand without the restraint – is organising a Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant, to be held on 10 March. First prize is $100,000, and four of the 13 women so far identified as fitting the criterion have reportedly agreed to appear. The contest is sponsored by a "married but looking" dating website, whose motto is: "Life is short, have an affair", and the hunt is on for judges, though one of Stern's targets, Elin Nordegren, alias Mrs Woods, isn't returning his calls. But look, who's that at the airport? Why, it's Cheryl Cole, a frequent flyer to the US and a reality-show panel veteran, not to mention... Sign her up, Howard. It was meant.
Unpaid tax bill which helped expel Chester City from the Football Conference on Friday. They cannot fulfil their fixtures and face a winding-up order on 10 March.
News in briefs of the week
The topless sledging event at Oberwiesenthal mentioned here recently duly took place, but was outshone elsewhere in Germany by Braunlage's Nude Sledging World Championship, which lured 14,000 spectators and 30 entrants, including a 70-year-old, who mercifully kept his long johns on. In Australia another renowned sledger, Shane Warne, unveiled his own range of men's pants. Warnie has been pictured in his undies before, but these come in bright colours only, so there's a gap in the market for a famous sportsman prepared to be photographed promoting an all-white brand. A footballer possibly... what's that? It's been done? Oh, yes. David Beckham. Of course.
Good week for
Sachin Tendulkar, India's hero became the first batsman to score 200 in a one-day international... Ian Poulter, beat fellow Englishman Paul Casey to win golf's World Match Play Championship... and Leeds Rhinos, promised a £50,000 bonus if they win tonight's rugby league World Club Challenge.
Bad week for
Blake Aldridge, British diver arrested on suspicion of shoplifting and assaulting a security guard... Brett Lee, the Australian fast bowler forced by injury to retire from Test cricket... Dietmar Hamann, the former Liverpool midfielder banned for 16 months for drink-driving... and the Liverpool FC website, which claimed the club's European opponents Unirea Urziceni come from Budapest, not Bucharest, and misspelt their name.
World-beater of the week
Congratters to Sachin Tendulkar on that world-record score, but he's got a long way to go before he catches up with Ashrita Furman, a 54-year-old New Yorker. Since 1979, Furman has set 279 official Guinness world records and currently holds 115, including "the most records held at the same time by an individual". Only the churlish would argue that some, indeed many, verge on the trivial – who's to say that walking 80 miles with a milk bottle balanced on your head, or sack-racing for a mile against a yak, isn't as skilful as hitting 200 runs in 147 balls against one of the best bowling attacks in the world? Not us – "different strokes for different folks", that's our watchword.Reuse content