Crystal balls: This year's Wimbledon bankers

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Judy Murray will make slyly salacious comments about male players (some playing her son, Andy) on Twitter. She has form: in the past she has described Feliciano Lopez as "Deliciano"; remarked on Guy Forget's "elegant legs"; and at Queen's described Chris Kermode as "the best-looking tournament director"

Coaches will use the phrases: "own it", "right here, right now", "you've worked for it", "take it, it's yours", "finish it", "you deserve it" — in no particular order, even as their charge is being mulched by a better opponent

The seeding committee will look silly. Rafael Nadal, two-time winner at Wimbledon, eight-time French champion, and making a strong comeback from an injury lay-off, seeded at 5; while David Ferrer, with only one Slam final appearance, is seeded 4. Numpties

Every player will be asked whether Wimbledon moving a week later (starting in 2015) will be a good or a bad thing. And most of them won't have an opinion either way because they don't have the power of premonition

All the players who competed at London 2012 will be asked if they prefer the club operating as Wimbledon Championships (a rule for everything), or Olympics (more relaxed, more colourful, more enthusiastic crowds). Only the foolish will enter that debate

Andy Murray, after squirming in his seat, will tell his mum to "stop that nonsense" after being teased about her Twitter comments in his media conferences

Serena Williams will distance herself from the revealing fly-on-the-wall documentary, Venus and Serena, about her and her sister (in a cinema near you this Friday)

Lukas Rosol, who beat Rafael Nadal here last year, will take an early bath. It's the tennis universe balancing itself

A player will create a Twitter storm by saying something bad/libellous/insulting about a rival or the All England Club

At least one male player will make disobliging remarks about equal pay for men and women when asked about the Women's Tennis Association, which is celebrating 40 years this year

If the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's baby is born soon, there will be a public announcement at the club and everyone playing that day will be asked what they think, whatever their nationality. Should junior arrive on finals day and Andy Murray is playing, there will be calls for him/her to be named Andrew/Andrea

Some wag will shout "Come on Rory!" when golfer McIlroy's girlfriend, world No 9 Caroline Wozniacki, is on court – which will be really amusing. No, really

A player will complain about the quality/price of food in the players' restaurant. First-round losers in all singles this year will pocket £23,500