News Edward Bunyan and Indira Gainiyeva left Stonyhurst College in Clitheroe, Lancashire, in the early hours of Monday morning

Stonyhurst headmaster rules their return as 'untenable' after their departure to the Caribbean sparked an international search

Neil Warnock: Chelsea will win it this time

What I've Learned This Week: It's a fool's game, but here are my predictions for this season of shocks

Moyes far from Moutinho deal

David Moyes indicated yesterday that he saw no sign of an imminent breakthrough in his pursuit of Sporting Lisbon's Joao Moutinho and, as an unconvincing pre-season tour of the US continued, admitted that his side need five or six new players, fast.

Fulham sign international Stoor

Fulham have signed Swedish defender Fredrik Stoor from Rosenborg on a four-year contract.

Johnson's move to Fulham close to resolution

Fulham are confident that Andrew Johnson will join them from Everton – freeing David Moyes to place an increased offer for Sporting Lisbon's Joao Moutinho – despite the distance between the Cottagers and Johnson over his personal terms.

Moyes hoping for quick contract talks

David Moyes is expected to sign a new long-term contract before the new season starts next month.

14,000 knife victims a year

Knife violence in Britain is far worse than official statistics suggest, with almost 14,000 people taken to hospital for injuries caused by knives and other sharp weapons last year.

The great Rock Against Racism show plays it again

Thirty years after a mega-gig changed Britain's cultural landscape, its veterans are back for an encore. Jonathan Owen reports

The most unlikely sex symbol in Britain? Everyone wants a piece of James Corden

The co-creator and co-star of BBC3's 'Gavin and Stacey' is the man they all want to be seen with. And if he wins a Bafta tonight, the queue will get longer. By Cole Moreton

Who needs dry cleaners with the wash-in-the-shower suit?

Clean it in the evening, and it's ready to wear next day, manufacturer claims

Cahill locks on to Europe

Everton are not short on inspiration in their fight with Liverpool for a Champions League spot but Tim Cahill revealed that thoughts of his jailed brother had driven him to a match-winning contribution as his side saw off Portsmouth to re-establish their three-point lead over their neighbours.

Crystal Palace 2 Burnley 0

Morrison makes Palace honours list

Crystal Palace 2 Sheffield Wednesday 0

Morrison fills Johnson boots for Palace
Life and Style
love + sex A new study has revealed the average size - but does that leave men outside the 'normal' range being thought of as 'abnormal'?
Arts and Entertainment
TV
Voices
The Palace of Westminster is falling down, according to John Bercow
voices..says Matthew Norman
Sport
Steve Bruce and Gus Poyet clash
football
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Graham Norton said Irish broadcaster RTE’s decision to settle was ‘moronic’
TV
Arts and Entertainment
Jake and Dinos Chapman were motivated by revenge to make 'Bring me the Head of Franco Toselli! '
arts + ents Shapero Modern Gallery to show explicit Chapman Brothers film
Arts and Entertainment
Kurt Cobain performing for 'MTV Unplugged' in New York, shortly before his death
music Brett Morgen's 'Cobain: Montage of Heck' debunks many of the myths
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Independent Travel
Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Seven Cities of Italy
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence
Prague, Budapest and Vienna
Lake Garda
3.	Provence 6 nights B&B by train from £599pp
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Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

Poldark star Heida Reed

'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn