Arts and Entertainment

Tom Hooper's quasi-operatic mega-musical is loaded with major historical events, weighty themes, tragic deaths and symbolic rebirths, so it's no wonder that the film version of Les Mis gets so exhausting, especially in the static, unspectacular second half.

Alice In Wonderland, Tim Burton, 105 mins, (PG)

Fantastic visuals fail to make up for the worst kind of Disneyesque revisionism in this largely charmless chunter through Wonderland

Guy Adams: They love a police drama at the Oscars

Los Angeles Notebook

First Night: Alice in Wonderland, Odeon Leicester Square, London

A curiously conventional journey to Wonderland

Malice in Wonderland: Burton's film has become pawn in bitter battle between studios and cinemas

With its red carpet, parking for limousines and baying fans behind crowd barriers, the Odeon Leicester Square has long been the venue of choice for film executives wanting to bring the full glitz of a Hollywood premiere to Britain.

No UK Odeon screenings for Alice in Wonderland

Tim Burton's new 3D blockbuster Alice In Wonderland will not be screened in Odeon cinemas in the UK, Ireland and Italy, the chain said today, with other films taking priority.

Valentine's Day (NC)

At first sight Garry Marshall's all-star ensemble looks to be a Short Cuts-lite – Short Cutlets, if you will – until it establishes its tone of flabby sentimentality and you realise it's more like an LA version of Love, Actually. There's even a sickeningly precocious kid who declares his love to an adult.

DVDs: a feast of high drama and animation

From teenage vampires to sweary spin doctors, Ben Walsh offers his selection of the best of the year's television and film on disc

How We Met: Lucy Cohu & Anna Maxwell Martin

'Men drop like flies around her – they make fools of themselves and she's not even aware of it'

DVD: Rachel Getting Married (15)

Anne Hathaway was deservedly Oscar-nominated for her vanity-bruising turn as Kym, an unlikeable drug addict who leaves rehab to attend her sister's wedding.

Inside Lines: How GB's wheelchair wizard climbed brokeback mountain

By its very nature disability sport can be both depressing and uplifting. Depressing when you realise what participants might have achieved with bodies that fully operate; uplifting when you encounter tales like that of 26-year-old Abdi Jama, whom we met at the BT Paralympic World Cup in Manchester last week.

DVD: Bride Wars, For retail and rental, (20th Century Fox)

This unfunny, watch-between-splayed-fingers "comedy" pairs Kate Hudson with Anne Hathaway as two supposed best friends who want to get married in the same New York hotel on the same day.

Goodbye to straighteners: hello boho hair

Loose, wavy, in plaits or naturally messy – that's the look to go for this summer. Nina Lakhani reports

Ready To Wear: To describe Anne Hathaway as the new Winona Ryder would be unfair

Oh, to be a muse, one might not unreasonably, well, muse, for want of a better word. But wait. As Donatella Versace once famously said when described as such in relation to her late brother, Gianni: "That is not very amusing." She knew, after all, that she was rather more than that, as time went on to tell.

David Lister: A Poet Laureate should work harder

Who'd be the Poet Laureate? They have to write verse about those increasingly unfashionable and largely unpoetic royal occasions, births, marriages and birthdays. They traditionally receive a quantity of sherry for their pains, but no actual dosh. And, as the departing Poet Laureate Andrew Motion, pictured, complained this week, they are subject to mockery. No wonder some of the names of those being bandied about to succeed Motion are letting it be known that they are not interested.

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