Voices

Those who refuse an honour inevitably follow it up with a worthy fuss

Camilla 'to join march'

Who eats where: Guide to the Ivy League

For the New Establishment, it's not simply which restaurant you choose but where you sit that reveals your status

First Night: Diana returns to haunt Royal Family from the stage

Battle Royal Lyttelton Theatre London

Books: Wanted: Lords. Must be dotty

First Childhood by Lord Berners Weidenfeld pounds 12.99 A Distant Prospect by Lord Berners Weidenfeld pounds 12.99

'The best mistresses are the ones we know nothing about'

Victoria Griffin has one rule - she only dates married men. HESTER LACEY reveals the secret life of the other woman

So just what is this wonderful new world of Widdecombism?

If economics drove Mrs Thatcher, moralism seems to be what finds the Widdecombe G-spot.

Quotes of the week

"People in television are horrible, really awful. Or maybe I met the wrong ones"

But, your Honour, I did once iron his shirt for him

The Law Commission is proposing that a man's mistress should have full legal rights - as long as there was more than sex involved. Tricky, says Sally Ann Lasson, but at least it will spell the end for all those smug marrieds out there

Football: The Sweeper - Six Mile Bottom in Beckham offer

SIX MILE Bottom, The Sweeper can report, is ready and willing to give its name to the next offspring of David Beckham and fiancee Victoria. Following the arrival of Brooklyn Beckham and suggestions in this column last week where Posh Spice might like to carry out her next pregnancy test in order to have a ready-made name for baby No 2, comes a generous offer from that very Suffolk village.

It's Camilla Parker Bowles, bearing down on me

When her husband ran off with a male model, she soldiered on bravely as Wiltshire women do

Media: Darling, you look gorgeous

From Cinderella to Queen of the Ball in the twinkling of a lens.

Leading Article: Peace for the Prince

IS THE Prince of Wales mad, or is it the world he inhabits? You have to wonder. The Chapter of Birmingham Cathedral, it was revealed in the week of the Prince's 50th birthday, has decided that the best way to spend pounds 12,000 was on a set of new wool-polyester stoles and altar frontals which show the HP Sauce factory, a Land Rover at 45 degrees (because that's what Land Rover says a Land Rover can do) and the beautiful geometry of Spaghetti Junction as seen from the air but with the road markings removed. "God is in Spaghetti Junction," the Archdeacon told a curious press. "It is hoped that when people see the Junction on the stoles, they will pray for travellers."
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Day In a Page

Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence – MS Swiss Corona - seven nights from £999pp
Lake Maggiore, Orta and the Matterhorn – seven nights from £899pp
Sicily – seven nights from £939pp
Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples - seven nights from £799pp
Istanbul Ephesus & Troy – six nights from £859pp
Mary Rose – two nights from £319pp
'I’ll tell you what I would not serve - lamb and potatoes': US ambassador hits out at stodgy British food served at diplomatic dinners

'I’ll tell you what I would not serve - lamb and potatoes'

US ambassador hits out at stodgy British food
Radio Times female powerlist: A 'revolution' in TV gender roles

A 'revolution' in TV gender roles

Inside the Radio Times female powerlist
Endgame: James Frey's literary treasure hunt

James Frey's literary treasure hunt

Riddling trilogy could net you $3m
Fitbit: Because the tingle feels so good

Fitbit: Because the tingle feels so good

What David Sedaris learnt about the world from his fitness tracker
Saudis risk new Muslim division with proposal to move Mohamed’s tomb

Saudis risk new Muslim division with proposal to move Mohamed’s tomb

Second-holiest site in Islam attracts millions of pilgrims each year
Alexander Fury: The designer names to look for at fashion week this season

The big names to look for this fashion week

This week, designers begin to show their spring 2015 collections in New York
Will Self: 'I like Orwell's writing as much as the next talented mediocrity'

'I like Orwell's writing as much as the next talented mediocrity'

Will Self takes aim at Orwell's rules for writing plain English
Meet Afghanistan's middle-class paint-ballers

Meet Afghanistan's middle-class paint-ballers

Toy guns proving a popular diversion in a country flooded with the real thing
Al Pacino wows Venice

Al Pacino wows Venice

Ham among the brilliance as actor premieres two films at festival
Neil Lawson Baker interview: ‘I’ve gained so much from art. It’s only right to give something back’.

Neil Lawson Baker interview

‘I’ve gained so much from art. It’s only right to give something back’.
The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

The other Mugabe who is lining up for the Zimbabwean presidency

Wife of President Robert Mugabe appears to have her sights set on succeeding her husband
The model of a gadget launch: Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed

The model for a gadget launch

Cultivate an atmosphere of mystery and excitement to sell stuff people didn't realise they needed
Alice Roberts: She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

She's done pretty well, for a boffin without a beard

Alice Roberts talks about her new book on evolution - and why her early TV work drew flak from (mostly male) colleagues
Get well soon, Joan Rivers - an inspiration, whether she likes it or not

Get well soon, Joan Rivers

She is awful. But she's also wonderful, not in spite of but because of the fact she's forever saying appalling things, argues Ellen E Jones
Doctor Who Into the Dalek review: A classic sci-fi adventure with all the spectacle of a blockbuster

A fresh take on an old foe

Doctor Who Into the Dalek more than compensated for last week's nonsensical offering