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What with being the first contestant to be voted out of the Big Brother house, not to mention facing ongoing calls to be burned at the stake by the Daily Mail, it's proved a fraught few days for Speaker's wife Sally Bercow. So, amid these troubled times, what could be more welcome than the sight of her very own knight in shining armour triumphantly emerging over the horizon with the express intention of putting Sally's numerous enemies to the sword? "Pray, who could this valiant warrior be?" I hear you ask. "Why, I think it's our favourite Estonian and glamour model-botherer Lembit 'Lancelot' Opik!" Oh! comes the admittedly deflated reply. Still, it's a bank holiday and Hugh Grant didn't have the decency to return my (numerous) calls. "There's a difference between having depth and being a celebrity," declares Lembit, himself a reality television reject of note. "Sally has something to say. I supported her decision to go on the programme. My advice to Sally would now be to pursue any libel actions." Her weary other Senor Bercow would be wise to keep the impressionable Sally away from this man's mysterious charms.

Police chief says sorry for Tory party accusation

Britain's anti-terror chief made an unreserved apology to the Conservative Party today for accusing it of trying to undermine a Whitehall leaks inquiry.

David Davis: A condemnation of a policy that does not add up

In January 2001, an 11-year-old boy was arrested in Sheffield and charged with attempted robbery. He had no previous convictions, cautions or warnings. In June of the same year he was acquitted. In March 2001, a 38-year-old man, also from Sheffield, was arrested and charged with harassing his partner. After being reconciled with his partner, all charges were against him were dropped.

<a href="http://blogs.independent.co.uk/openhouse/2008/11/did-davis-blund.html">Nigel Morris: Did Davis blunder?</a>

For the first time David Davis has publicly admitted what most of his former front bench colleagues believe – that he has probably thrown away his career.

Stop partisan point-scoring, Brown tells Tories

Gordon Brown demanded "responsible" behaviour from the Tories today after George Osborne warned that he was pushing sterling towards "collapse".

<a href="http://blogs.independent.co.uk/independent/2008/10/today-in-poli-9.html">Today in Politics: Burying bad news on 42 days</a>

As David Davis pointed out today, it was no coincidence that Jacqui Smith announced her retreat over 42-day detention for suspected terrorists at 8.30pm last night, knowing it would be drowned out in media terms by the £37bn bail out for the banks.

Dominic Grieve: You Ask The Questions

The shadow Home Secretary answers your questions, such as 'Are you just keeping the seat warm for a more illustrious figure?' and 'What was your most expensive expenses claim?'

Letters: Ivory trade

UK must act to protect elephants from the deadly trade in ivory

Leading article: David Davis has struck a fine blow for the cause of civil liberties

The Haltemprice and Howden by-election was not, in the end, the spectacular national debate on the state of civil liberties in Britain that David Davis wanted when he dramatically resigned his parliamentary seat last month. But the former shadow home secretary still deserves a generous portion of credit for taking a stand on this issue. The growth of casual surveillance by the state is indeed a cancer in our society. And the steady erosion of our civil liberties by the Government is every bit as dangerous as Mr Davis has been arguing. If this by-election has caused even a handful of people to reconsider the benefits of the proliferation of CCTV cameras, or the merits of ID cards, it will have been worthwhile.

Davis returns with 15,000 majority to fight for liberty

David Cameron ruled out an early return to the Tory front bench for David Davis after the former shadow home secretary's comfortable victory in the Haltemprice and Howden by-election.

Turnout slashed, but Davis cruises through

David Davis claimed victory in the Haltemprice and Howden by-election - but on a lower turnout and by fewer votes than at the last general election.

Letters: Protecting children

Attempts to protect children that defy common sense

Spin doctor behind Davis's campaign promotes ID cards

Freedom issues sparked his resignation &ndash; but the former shadow Home Secretary's old friend is in the enemy camp

Murray reaps rewards of composure

No 'Kevin the teenager' tantrums as British No 1 sees off Haas to ensure safe passage into last 16 &ndash; where Gasquet awaits

Richard Ingrams' Week: You try challenging an editor armed with a writ

"It is utterly impossible," said William Hazlitt, "to persuade an editor that he is a nobody." That self-importance helps to explain why journalists are much more likely to resort to law than politicians.

Life and Style
love + sex A new study has revealed the average size - but does that leave men outside the 'normal' range being thought of as 'abnormal'?
Arts and Entertainment
TV
Voices
The Palace of Westminster is falling down, according to John Bercow
voices..says Matthew Norman
Sport
Steve Bruce and Gus Poyet clash
football
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Graham Norton said Irish broadcaster RTE’s decision to settle was ‘moronic’
TV
Arts and Entertainment
Jake and Dinos Chapman were motivated by revenge to make 'Bring me the Head of Franco Toselli! '
arts + ents Shapero Modern Gallery to show explicit Chapman Brothers film
Arts and Entertainment
Kurt Cobain performing for 'MTV Unplugged' in New York, shortly before his death
music Brett Morgen's 'Cobain: Montage of Heck' debunks many of the myths
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Independent Travel
Pompeii, Capri & the Bay of Naples
Seven Cities of Italy
Burgundy, the River Rhone & Provence
Prague, Budapest and Vienna
Lake Garda
3.	Provence 6 nights B&B by train from £599pp
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Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

Climate change key in Syrian conflict

And it will trigger more war in future
How I outwitted the Gestapo

How I outwitted the Gestapo

My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
The nation's favourite animal revealed

The nation's favourite animal revealed

Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
Is this the way to get young people to vote?

Getting young people to vote

From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

Poldark star Heida Reed

'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

Money, corruption and drugs

The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

150 years after it was outlawed...

... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

You won't believe your eyes

Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn