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In profit...

$5bn: the cost of saying Donald Trump is a mere millionaire

Businessman sues journalist who questioned scale of his wealth, reports Stephen Foley

Pageant official quits over Miss California move

In the latest twist in a scandal that has rocked an American beauty pageant, a former Miss USA has resigned as co-executive of the Miss California USA competition following owner Donald Trump's decision to let the state's controversial title holder keep her crown.

Last Night's Television: Coronation Street, ITV1<br />The Apprentice, BBC1<br />Rain, BBC2

"We've already watched a lot of television tonight," moaned Ken Barlow in Coronation Street, flinching from the prospect of a marathon viewing of The Thorn Birds with Deirdre. Ken doesn't really approve of television, thinking there are better ways to spend your time, and who could gainsay him given the immeasurably more interesting drama you can get just down the road at the Rovers Return, a kind of Epidaurus with bitter on tap. Dynastic curses, incest, blood feuds and murder are stacked up behind the bar, alongside the pork scratchings and dry-roast peanuts. Last night, for instance, Colin – Rita's box-fresh fiancé – was revealed to have impregnated Julie when she was just 14 years old. Colin, rather unwisely in the circumstances, tried to argue his corner, pointing out that Paula wasn't exactly a blushing innocent at the time, but Rita was having none of it: "What you did is unforgiveable... you abused a child." She then went to sit in the dark in the Kabin, mascara streaming down her cheeks while her friends tried in vain to get her to pick up the phone. Rita declined, which won't really surprise you if you've ever seen her phone, a grim piece of faux-sophisticate tat that looks as if it's been made out of raw liver and prompts me to offer a word of congratulation to that unsung team of geniuses, the Coronation Street set-dressers. Ken, meanwhile, was off down the canal towpath looking longingly at a barge crowned with a stone Buddha, from which classical music was seeping through the net curtains. For Ken, this represents nirvana, and though he turned away from it last night I don't think it will be long before he succumbs to temptation.

Last Night's Television: The Apprentice, BBC1<br />The Speaker, BBC2

"We've had a bit of depression in this boardroom over the last few weeks... it's time for a bit of laughter," said Sir Alan, dispatching the winning team at the end of the latest episode. Something similar might have been said of The Apprentice itself at the beginning of last night's programme. So far, it's been fine, but not exactly vintage stuff... and decidedly short on YouTube gold, the sort of jaw-dropping, did-you-see-that-bit moment that gets a series talked about the next day. Last night, made up for it, with easily the funniest episode so far. The task facing the teams was to brand and advertise a new breakfast cereal, a worthy- looking combination of bran flakes and dried fruit. The teams had to come up with a concept, and a cartoon character that might persuade parents to buy this mixture, and their children to swallow it. The fun started almost immediately. "Has the cereal-killer thing already been done?" asked Philip. His team-mates gently steered him away from that mysteriously unexploited territory, where children's breakfast and mass-murder meets. But that deranged proposal was only marginally more misguided than what he came up with next. Thinking on his feet, which were by now lodged squarely in his mouth, Philip outlined his stab at advertising surrealism, a campaign that centred on the comic potential of underwear: "It's so natural that you feel naked... but with pants!" he said, in a eureka tone of voice. Creative excitement gripped him and he stood to audition the jingle he'd composed to accompany his concept: "When you waaaake up and your belly's rumberling... You've got to dance in your pants till you get your belly filled. If you are off to work or you are off to school, you got to dance in your pants until you get in the mood".

The Speaker, BBC2; The Apprentice, BBC1

If The Speaker hasn't already shaken off most of its audience by now it can hardly be accused of lack of effort. An elimination contest intended to find the best young speaker in the country, The Speaker began, logically enough, with the first sifting of young hopefuls – and the by now familiar vocabulary of knockout television – long queues outside regional town halls, dodgy audition tapes, swing doors batting open to reveal the exuberant or the crestfallen. Where else would you start, you might ask, given that all such enterprises must sharpen to a point? To which one would simply say, "Much later, please." This might not make make sense with the more vulgar manifestations of the talent-show genre, since they relish the electronic bedlam of the opening rounds and the opportunities they offer for judicial astonishment and scorn. But it would have made sense here for several reasons.

Is Sir Alan softening up to make a credit-crunch Apprentice?

The waspish Amstrad boss can be a fearful figure for the show's contenders, so should his producers take some sting out of his tail? Ian Burrell speaks to them

Culture: Who'd want to be in the firing line?

I'm looking forward to the new series of The Apprentice, which begins this week, not least because it will be interesting to see how the format has been tweaked to take account of the credit crunch.

Reality TV goes Starck raving mad

The latest reality TV star is Philippe Starck who is on a mad mission to unearth the best of British design. Annie Deakin reports

Hit & Run: Not an heir out of place

As a couple, Brangelina are worth far, far more than the sum of their parts. So what do you get when you factor in their travelling caravan of six children? Well, it may not be the most scandalous paparazzo shot, but to celebrity watchers, the shot you see here is worth lingering over. It's not often that you get to see the whole clan, in the same place, so unguarded. But yesterday, as they made their way through Tokyo's Narita Airport, none of the Pitt-Jolies had been left with the nannies. It gives us an opportunity to learn a little about looking effortlessly cooler than anyone else in the world ever.

Crunch forces Trump to cancel holiday-home plan

Donald Trump has shelved plans to build hundreds of homes at his proposed golf resort in Aberdeen because of the slowdown in the property market. The US developer's lawyer George Sorial said: "The homes could take several years. We're not going to build anything until it feels right."

Another round of trouble as Trump sues for $100m

After a bruising campaign to build a golf course in Scotland, the tycoon sets his sights on a town in California

One Click Wonder: The Music Drags

With audiences flocking to &lsquo;La Cage Aux Folles&rsquo; and &lsquo;Wig Out!&rsquo;, and a stage version of &lsquo;Priscilla, Queen of the Desert&rsquo; opening in 2009, drag is taking the West End by storm. Here we celebrate the art form&rsquo;s best (and worst) practitioners...

Deborah Orr: Change is what the Scots want too

Glenrothes is not about the Union, even if Gordon Brown likes to think it is

Donald Trump adviser had opposed golf course

An ecologist advising Donald Trump on his planned £1bn golf resort in Aberdeenshire admitted yesterday he did not believe the course should be built on environmentally sensitive land.

Sean O'Grady: What links Scotland to Donald Trump? Nothing...

I regret that during my many trips to Scotland I did not visit the Menie Links in Aberdeenshire. From the photographs, it seems a very beautiful corner of the kingdom – unspoilt, unpolluted, undeveloped. It is also a Site of Special Scientific Interest, which sounds even more, well, special and natural.

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Actress sees off speculation about her appearance in an amazing way

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Serge Pizzorno of Kasabian and Noel Fielding backstage at the Teenage Cancer Trust concerts
musicKasabian and Noel Fielding attack 'boring' musicians
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peopleLynda Bellingham's tragic final Loose Women appearance moves audience to tears
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'Right Here' singer Jess Glynne is nominated for Best Newcomer at the MOBO Awards 2014
musicExclusive: Jess Glynne hits out at 'ridiculous' criticism of white artists nominated for Mobo Awards
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The last great picture - Winner 'Black and White' and overall 'Wildlife Photographer of the Year'
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The Putin automaton will go on sale next month in Germany
videoMusical Putin toy showing him annexing Crimea could sell for millions
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Powerful images of strays taken moments before being put down

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S Club 7 pose for Children in Need 2001
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Prices correct as of 17 October 2014
Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

A new American serial killer?

Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
Sweetie, the fake 10-year-old girl designed to catch online predators, claims her first scalp

Sting to trap paedophiles may not carry weight in UK courts

Computer image of ‘Sweetie’ represented entrapment, experts say
Fukushima nuclear crisis: Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on - and may never return home

Return to Fukushima – a land they will never call home again

Evacuees still stuck in cramped emergency housing three years on from nuclear disaster
Wildlife Photographer of the Year: Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize

Wildlife Photographer of the Year

Intimate image of resting lions claims top prize
Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

Want to change the world? Just sign here

The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?
Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals

'You need me, I don’t need you'

Ed Sheeran hits back after being labelled too boring to headline festivals
How to Get Away with Murder: Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama

How to Get Away with Murder

Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama
A cup of tea is every worker's right

Hard to swallow

Three hospitals in Leicester have banned their staff from drinking tea and coffee in public areas. Christopher Hirst explains why he thinks that a cuppa is every worker's right
Which animals are nearly extinct?

Which animals are nearly extinct?

Conservationists in Kenya are in mourning after the death of a white northern rhino, which has left the species with a single male. These are the other species on the brink
12 best children's shoes

Perfect for leaf-kicking: 12 best children's shoes

Find footwear perfect to keep kids' feet protected this autumn
Anderlecht vs Arsenal: Gunners' ray of light Aaron Ramsey shines again

Arsenal’s ray of light ready to shine again

Aaron Ramsey’s injury record has prompted a club investigation. For now, the midfielder is just happy to be fit to face Anderlecht in the Champions League
Comment: David Moyes' show of sensitivity thrown back in his face by former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson

Moyes’ show of sensitivity thrown back in his face... by Ferguson

Manchester United legend tramples on successor who resisted criticising his inheritance
Two super-sized ships have cruised into British waters, but how big can these behemoths get?

Super-sized ships: How big can they get?

Two of the largest vessels in the world cruised into UK waters last week
British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis with spinal cord treatment

British doctors on brink of cure for paralysis

Sufferers can now be offered the possibility of cure thanks to a revolutionary implant of regenerative cells
Ranked seventh in world’s best tourist cities - not London, or Edinburgh, but Salisbury

Lonely Planet’s Best in Travel 2015

UK city beats Vienna, Paris and New York to be ranked seventh in world’s best tourist destinations - but it's not London